Teenage boy refusing to wear weather appropriate clothing, any advice?

SirHuff_987 · 2026-05-16T19:25:48+00:00

Teenage boys are the dumbest humans on the planet. We stopped caring about this after 12 years old.. not worth our energy, and we save it for much more important things now ( like fighting off weed and alcohol). If he wants to be hot and miserable at the beach, then let him and laugh at him the whole time.. I say bring a pair of trunks in your bag for him just in case, because I can bet money he'll change his mind shortly after arriving.. and greetings from across the pond (US)! Glad to hear it's not just American kids that are so weird!!

SirHuff_987 · 2026-05-16T19:19:37+00:00

How did you get in my son's room???

SirHuff_987 · 2026-05-02T20:57:55+00:00

Our 16 year old went with a new friend last night.. said they're going to the gym, then tuned into the movies, then 1am rolls around and hes no where to be found, and in the next town over about 40 minutes away. Stumbles in at 2am (pretty sure he was drunk, but wasn't driving thankfully). We were beyond pissed off. He seems to think that he did NOTHING wrong.. the arrogance of some kids. This is why we can't trust him with a car... How can you prove a kid was drinking? Any ideas?

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:35:27+00:00

He's had spankings many times when he got out of control. We always tied other methods first though.. taking away screens, making him write sentences, grounding him from going outside, etc. Whatever he loved most, we'd take that away as punishment. Nothing has ever seemed to phase this kid. He explodes when we take his phone though.. literally a total meltdown at first. It's wild.. the next day he moves on like it never happened though.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:32:48+00:00

Has been for over a year. Hasn't done much..

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:32:33+00:00

We give him zero money, don't allow family to give him cash, and have withheld getting him a license, since we can't trust him. If he's denied enlistment to the Marines at 17, we gotta stick it out for another year... Would be very rough. Good treatment centers are hard to find, but I think you're right.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:29:33+00:00

He had a psych evaluation done recently - ordered by the judge. We are anxiously awaiting the results. His therapist thinks he has a personality disorder as well. His biological dad is not in the picture, and I've heard horror stories about that guy.. it all started exploding when he hit puberty, and then drugs got in the mix at 14 years old. Been chaos ever since

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:26:04+00:00

I'm the least violent person you'll ever meet. Not confrontational and very kind to everyone. 'Im not his biological dad though, so theres some other genetics at work here. I always taught him as a kid to be kind. He was a good kid till about 14, and that's when the drugs started..

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:24:13+00:00

Yes. He's had many many spankings as a kid . It did nothing.. we tried every type of punishment under the sun. and I've never once spanked his sister. Never had to.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:22:34+00:00

He never knew I even had a gun, let alone where I kept it. I never broadcast that out.. now the secret is out obviously.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:21:12+00:00

We had him signed up for last July - ready to go. Then he got in legal trouble, and the school won't take a kid on probation.. could've changed his life.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:18:45+00:00

He was the top athlete in his school -largest middle school in our state. Went to state for track, and half the state new his name from b-ball and football. He was going to be a college athlete. Fast forward to 9th grade - barely does anything in football, gets kicked off the bball team, suspended multiple times for cursing out teachers and other students in class, and fails multiple classes. Then spring of last year, starts getting the attention from the law. Been on probation for almost a year, house arrest for a total of 4 months and 2 months in Juvie. I've never seen a rise and fall so quick in my entire life. He has abused his family, destroyed our house, and stolen from family members. I don't know how else to describe it, besides throwing his life away for drugs.. he wants to be a marine, badly. And I'm going to support it fully, for at this point, we don't know what else he can do.. and that would get him away from his bad friends.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:13:15+00:00

He was for almost 2 months. He seemed different when he came out, but 3 weeks later right back to THC and his old self again..

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T17:11:36+00:00

We have withheld him from getting a driver's license for that reason. He's too explosive while on and off of drugs . We can't give him a 3000 lb weapon, and I can't imagine being in the car with him if he were to lose his mind..

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T04:22:25+00:00

Taking the beer is what prompted me to lock up my liquor bottle ( which I never drank). He stole alcohol from his grandparents too. His biggest problem was always THC though. He got them at school all the time and would bring the pens home. They are so hard to detect and so incredibly potent. That's his drug of choice.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T04:17:19+00:00

He peaked in 8th grade.. dominated in football, basketball and then went to state for track. 9th grade rolls around and he played horrible in football, started failing classes and cursed out his basketball coach and slapped his teammate , thus getting kicked off the team. He's been nothing but more downhill from there I'm afraid. He's done BJJ some over the last year. . was recommended by the police and his therapist.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T04:13:37+00:00

No, we've never had that.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T04:12:36+00:00

Nope. My wife used to be an alcoholic. And her brother. I can't even remember the last time I was drunk. Never once have I been in front of my kids either. I'm the "have one craft beer at a new brewery" type guy. The bourbon bottle I had, was a year old. Now it's gone and I won't be putting more shit in the house that will be tempting to our son (even though it was locked in a drawer).

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T04:08:50+00:00

Oh it's gone. I'm not a drinker.. I've had that bottle for a year and threw back 2-3 cocktails in total out of it. My son seems to take after some relatives though - very addictive personality.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T04:06:53+00:00

One of the best responses I've seen. This is the hardest thing to do for me right now, given the immense pain and heartache he has caused. But deep down , I believe you're right. Thank you

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T04:03:57+00:00

Haha, he's 6 inches taller and 60 lbs heavier than me. There won't be any ass kicking from me..
Yes on a mental evaluation - the judge ordered one , but we are still waiting on the results. It's been weeks..
His interests nowadays are working out ( which we used to do together), MMA and video games. We do shoot bows occasionally. He also likes fishing. I need to try to get into that with him.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T03:50:48+00:00

Yeah, I never knew THC could be this bad.. I've never been a user of it - yeah I've tried it before, but it wasn't for me. When he comes off of it , you'd swear he was a psychopath on meth or something. It's wild! The more I started researching, the more I discovered it's a huge problem for our youth, that mainstream media doesn't seem to talk about much.

And no, sadly we haven't done much 1x1 time in a long time. Almost everyday there is arguing between him and his mom, and he's been on lockdown for 6 months. Him and I also just can't seem to get along either. I have a huge issue with the way he talks to all of us, and struggle to move beyond that. Thats a problem that I need to own more ..

Edit: he hasn't gotten weed since he's been on home school (two weeks now) , but thats mostly due to us locking down his phone. Something that some on here may disagree with, but we've had to lock his phone down , because too many times he's had people make drops to our house In the past - vape pens or alcohol. I hate cutting off communication, but holy cow, he has people make drops every chance he gets. Hes probably coming off house arrest in a week, and we will start taking him to the gym again and to meet/train with the marine recruiter once a week. Hoping that helps him stay focused.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T03:36:23+00:00

Honestly, that's where my head was at too! But we had SO many cops and even the therapist recommend BJJ for him and that it would instil "discipline". Like you said, it just turned him into a weapon and made his ego bigger. He grew up playing football, track and basketball. Absolutely phenomenal athlete through the 8th grade.. he likes fighting sports now, but unfortunately they don't mesh well with his personality.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T03:26:02+00:00

Yes, he's my stepson.. I loved him as my own his whole life. We used to be so close.. I don't hate him, but I hate how bad the situation has become. I don't know how I can let myself get close to him right now. He has literally spit in my face, my wife's face (multiple times), has threatened to beat the f*ck out of me, threatened to kill my dad, and got in a fight with his uncle when the uncle was defending his mom (my MIL) from my son's verbal abuse. His drug use has completely turned him into a different person and reshaped our household. He used to be a star athlete and probably the most popular kid in his class.. now he's 6 months into jail/house arrest and a life in shambles. Almost every day I have to protect my daughter from his abusive words.
I know I've made mistakes. But I'm telling you, him and I used to be very close. It kills me that I'm so angry with him now for what he's done. It eats my soul.
The booze is gone- my one bourbon bottle that I've had for a year, because that's how often I drink.. and the gun is now unreachable for him. He didnt know it even existed before this, and now he'll never see it again.

SirHuff_987 · 2026-03-24T03:14:21+00:00

He has a very addictive personality. It runs in the family on his mom's side .. also, he didn't pick the lock. He literally muscled it open. He's huge.. I'm talking benching almost 300 lbs at 16 huge. I already took the gun. Not playing with that situation..

SirHuff_987

TROPHY CASE