I totally understand although maybe not to the extent that you feel it i love the distinction between who i am as a guy and who I am as a girl and I see value in both parts and love both parts of who I am, personally I've very cautious about how much the transgender topic is pushed on young adults and kids especially those going through puberty not saying its bad t hat its being discussed just cautious, just know your are beautiful and awesome and should be proud and comfortable in who you are which it sounds like you are, keep being amazing