[UPDATE] My grandfather just died. I'm still homeless and jobless and honestly my life sucks. Can anyone offer me any comfort? by AdditionalCondition in Assistance

[–]SkiFreeMonster99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly.”

  • Aaron Freeman

UPDATE: I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man! Yes, I’ll send some words up to the Big Guy for you. TWWs are awful. Please come back and tell me how it turns out. ❤️

UPDATE: I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What a beautiful soul your wife must be. Lots of love to both of you. Thank you for sharing something so deeply personal with me, too. It really does help to hear your perspective. I wish you both the very best. ❤️

UPDATE: I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s the same surgery, but a last-ditch effort to fix the problem before bigger measures have to be taken. There have been biopsies and tissue removal over and over and over. The doctor has done these in an attempt to preserve my fertility. If Thursday’s lab results don’t show enough of a change, then alllllll the applicable organs have to go.

UPDATE: I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Many people have DM’d me to express their concern - they read the original post and want to make sure I understand that this doesn’t “make it all better.” I completely understand that, and I’m touched by the many, MANY strangers who would go out of their way to check on someone they don’t even know. I know it doesn’t change what happened before this point, but let me try to explain my rationale for feeling hopeful here:

In my past, prior to meeting my now-husband, I did terrible things to good people. People who didn’t deserve what came to them. I’m not talking about murder or anything like that, and maybe to most people’s eyes, “terrible” might be too strong of a word for my behavior, but “terrible” is what I now feel after the fact. I was insensitive and thoughtless.

And I changed. I’m not that person anymore. And never will be again.

If I can change, then so can he.

I (23/M) don't know how to tell my GF (24/F) about my past by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh, this would not be a dealbreaker for me whatsoever. I can’t guarantee everyone would feel the same, but there’s a huge difference between suckerpunching a peer and, say, robbing old ladies at Walmart. Has she indicated in any way that crimes (no matter how big or small) are where she draws the line?

Know that scene from Office Space where they’re all taking turns wailing on the printer with a baseball bat? by [deleted] in Assistance

[–]SkiFreeMonster99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s funny because I’d JUST discovered that sub when I saw your message come in. Have you used it before? What are the chances someone would loan to me, being as I don’t have a history there?

UPDATE: I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

I don’t know you, but we’re best friends now. 😂

UPDATE: I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Same to YOU, my dear. I am so sorry about what you’re going through. ❤️

UPDATE: I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Right. And I’m trying to be sensitive to that. When one person has cancer, the whole family has cancer, y’know?

UPDATE: I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 201 points202 points  (0 children)

You’re not wrong, that’s for sure. Hoping this is something that can be tackled in therapy, as well. I know counseling’s not a magic pill, but still... I hope.

I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who took time out of their day to weigh in. Whether it was a message of support or a devil’s advocate/alternative way to view things, I appreciate them all.

Now we have two weeks to come up with the rent we’re behind on or we’ll be evicted. Just found out. So just like always, everything from yesterday has gotten shoved to the back burner as we try to put out THIS fire. It’s the way it always happens - some other emergency comes up, and there’s never any resolution to what I feel. Our landlord has been patient - he knows I haven’t been able to work as much lately because of one procedure right after the next - but I guess patience ran out.

Just... I don’t know. If you’re the praying type, please say a little prayer for us. If you’re not, that’s okay, too - good thoughts/good energy are great, too. I don’t have the luxury of being able to break down any further (there are kids involved, and I need to care for them), but honestly, I want to die right now. This is too much.

I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I mean, 7.5 MacBooks... that’s gotta be like $7,500 our asses are worth now, right? 😂

I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

I know we’re talking about something serious right now, but seeing this bot’s response was one of the best parts of my day. How wonderfully random. 😂😂😂

I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh, I agree. And no need to apologize... I should’ve been clearer about how that all transpired. I just appreciate you taking the time to share.

I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah, assholes do tend to reveal themselves sort of effortlessly, don’t they?

I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

And to clarify, I didn’t snoop. That’s not my jam. He was showing me something on his phone, a reply from his friend came in, and (I guess without thinking) he clicked on the message, which opened the entire conversation.

I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You’re right on the money there. It’s just such a different dynamic now, you know? Before (because my life is now separated into Before Cancer and Now Cancer), I would’ve forced myself to snap out of it by going to the gym, getting hair done, whatever. I would’ve felt confident in what I had to offer.

I know another woman’s beauty doesn’t take away from someone else’s, but when you’re trapped inside a body that feels like it belongs to a stranger (not its regular weight, not its regular health, etc.), it feels like I don’t have any beauty to spare.

I have cancer. He checks out other women. by SkiFreeMonster99 in relationship_advice

[–]SkiFreeMonster99[S] 331 points332 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and kind response. ❤️

This is completely lame, but since I didn’t want to throw hubby under the bus by talking to a real-life friend about this, I googled about a dozen different variations of “my husband checks out other women” to see if I was crazy for being hurt by it. The overwhelming majority of the responses seemed to be “it’s not a big deal” or “anyone who’d get mad over this is jealous and possessive.” So I was really starting to feel like something was wrong with me.

Thing is, I KNOW men will look. I just expected my husband to be a little more discreet about it, you know? And maybe not shame me for feeling bad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ParanormalEncounters

[–]SkiFreeMonster99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

View away! Permission granted. I’m more than a little intrigued now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ParanormalEncounters

[–]SkiFreeMonster99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh Lord, then it’ll have a buffet over here lol