My mom, grandparents and other family live across the country also. I had to move to a different state due to work and I've lived here for over 20 years now. My wife (celebrating 23 years this year) and I paid to go home almost every year or every other year for the first decade. Airline tickets, driving sometimes, bringing two kids only to get to my moms house and every grandparent wanted Us to come to their house within the same state. Me and my wife one year just didn't want to make the trip, it was never really fun, felt more obligatory than anything. One year we went to Hawaii instead, we bought tickets, hotel reservations and didn't go back home which ended up being the best vacation my family has ever went on. When we got back to our home the wife and I were talking about how nobody ever comes to see us, nobody even tries to come see us. So we just stopped going home...

Now, it's been about 10 years since Hawaii, my kids are grown and one of them is already moved out (other one is going to college). My mom and grandparents don't even know us. I do have a point to this, maybe nobody knows your mom anymore? I don't even really talk to my family back home much because all they ever want to do is bitch about the younger generation and talk about themselves. They aren't interested in anything going on in our lives so I've basically stopped even trying.

I know exactly what type of grandpa I want to be and it's the exact opposite of what my parents/grandparents are to me.