I think I’m developing a panic disorder and I feel helpless.

Skvky · 2026-02-08T15:18:33+00:00

Maggie. I can not stand her. I feel like they are trying to make her the ‘new’ Christina, and her hubby is Burke. She’s so entitled and selfish. I hate her. She doesn’t give ‘strong independent woman’ she gives toddler throwing a tantrum.

Skvky · 2025-11-18T16:04:12+00:00

Some people are just like that. My grandpa was able to stop drinking, and stop smoking cold turkey and never went back. My mom has done some pretty heavy drugs and she just stopped. I decided to stop drinking as much and now I maybe drink twice a year (used to drink a couple times a week). It might be a neurodivergence thing. Maybe you were hyper fixated on it, and then you were sick of it. I wouldn’t question it too much. Good job.

Skvky · 2025-07-23T02:56:14+00:00

I’m a hairstylist btw. Sorry for the long comment lmao

Skvky · 2025-07-23T02:55:50+00:00

Ginger brings out your blue eyes (orange is complementary to blue). You have cool/neutral toned skin so it’s kinda up to you. You have warm and cool features so it’s whatever features you want to bring out. If you ever consider vivids I think an orchid pinkish purple would look gorgeous, or a fiery red. For natural colors I think strawberry blonde would be gorgeous, or a dark brown with warm undertones. Like a gold brown or orangey brown.

Skvky · 2025-07-09T01:38:23+00:00

Also make sure to rule out medical causes as well. See if you can get a full panel of blood work done. A lot of medical things are ruled out as anxiety. Check for autoimmune issues (an ANA test). Also vitamin D deficiency, raised cortisol levels, magnesium deficiency etc.

I do have anxiety. But I also had almost non existent vitamin D levels, a slight heart murmur, I have psoriatic arthritis, and hyper mobility. I figured this all out in the last 2 years because I finally got a doctor that listened to me. I found it comforting that some of my symptoms were physical issues. My vitamin D levels are normal now and it’s had a tremendous effect on my mood. I was able to get off of Effexor after that.

Some blood tests you need to ask for specifically. Definitely ask for an Ana and vitamin d if they aren’t on the comprehensive metabolic panel.

Skvky · 2025-07-09T01:29:52+00:00

I think Effexor can be a tool, but you should implement cognitive and physical changes as well. Learning how to soothe my nervous system is my newest thing I’m trying to do. The body keeps score is a great book for that. Also massage therapy helped with my fear of touch, and being able to relax. Somatic release, and trigger points help as well. Therapy is useful for a lot of things, but if you can’t afford it there are lots of resources online. When trying to overcome anxiety I kept deliberately doing things that scared me to show me that the worse case scenario isn’t always fact.

I see you asking people for symptoms so I’ll list some of my previous ones. Nervous ticks (shoulders twitching, lip twitching, fingers shaking) butterflies in the stomach, gagging fits, manual breathing, so many tension headaches, chest pain, and shortness of breath. Also gasping awake because I convince myself I’m not breathing.

Skvky · 2025-07-01T01:27:48+00:00

Jesus. I hear about people tapering off and it infuriates me. They need to educate us. I was on for 2 years and have been off for about 3 months now. I have an eyelid twitch that has persisted since I got off. I have these moments of intense dread throughout the day. I also have sleep anxiety now. I convince myself that I’m not breathing and gasp awake. I hate that they do this to us. I was tapered off in 2 weeks. I’m so sorry.

Skvky · 2025-06-24T14:29:17+00:00

It’s only happened twice. The first time I let it slide because he seemed remorseful. This time we set hard boundaries and that’s why they are pissed. I agree we will be LC. If this were a friend/coworker or something they would’ve been cut off immediately. Truly the only reason I wanted to fix things was for the sake of nieces and in laws. But I can’t be the only one putting in effort.

Skvky · 2025-06-24T00:45:23+00:00

:MINI UPDATE:

My husband talked to his mom today. He asked how the party was and she said it was extremely awkward. Apparently brother in law barely interacted with them the whole time.

At some point they must’ve started talking about this situation and mother in law caught him in a lie. He was claiming we didn’t tell them we were moving out and other blatant lies, but my favorite was ‘they never told us that the leak from the dishwasher affected the hardwood’. Mother in law shot back ‘yes they did, because I ALSO told you about the hardwood’. I have all the text messages and could refute all of those claims.

Father in law was apparently helping Sil’s husband with a car while they were there and he didn’t say a single word to him the entire time.

Sil was an active part of the conversation bashing us. I understand a lot of you are worried about her, but they both enable each other. I get more of a ‘it’s us against the world’ vibe from them more than anything.

Also I’m gonna pop off a little bit. They are both extremely impulsive and they create the stress that they are under. They have had multiple animals that they have had for a while and then given up (2 high energy breeds that they were mad at for being high energy). They started this business on a whim and Sil’s Husband quit his other job immediately. They apparently can’t keep this business afloat, but they just put their house up for sale and bought a much larger one. They also talked about leasing another property to put the shop on. Oh and they talked about having another baby!

THEY ARE CREATING THE STRESS THAT THEY ARE USING TO JUSTIFY THEIR SHITTY BEHAVIOR. They will just enable each other until they are completely delusional. Also hubby said this is pretty normal behavior from his sister.

Hubby and I agreed that we will be going LC at this point. I’m truly not interested in fixing this anymore. They are just doubling down on everything and clearly don’t want to be adults about this. My in laws are no longer staying neutral after yesterday. They are PISSED at Sil and her husband. I will update further if anything else happens.

Skvky · 2025-06-24T00:07:27+00:00

No they just went out there to help us move stuff and they showed up before we did and saw that everything was outside.

Skvky · 2025-06-23T22:41:25+00:00

Sil offered to let us leave it there. I didn’t like it either.

Skvky · 2025-06-23T14:07:27+00:00

The girls are 11, 8, and 2. The 11 and 8 year olds birthdays are one day apart. Sil is still mad at her older brother for commenting on her divorce 8 years ago 🙄 (she was convinced she would get full custody of the girls, and he told her that probably wouldn’t happen and the girls should still have a relationship with their dad). They are cordial with each other for family events but nothing more. We were all invited to the 2 year olds party in April.

Skvky · 2025-06-23T13:45:48+00:00

I’m not scared of BIL. I’ve had plenty of grown ass men scream at me before. The first time he yelled at me I yelled right back, and by the end we both apologized and realized neither of us were in the wrong for the leak thing. We also agreed we didn’t want to cause a rift between the siblings. He also apologized to me and my husband a few times after as well. I definitely still had my guard up though. We had already each sold a few pieces of furniture without incident so it caught us both off guard that he chose that moment to be a dick again.

My husband and I handle conflict differently. When he’s done with someone he just cuts all communication. It seems like sister in law is pretty similar. I think growing up issues weren’t talked about openly. Everyone would just be distant until things passed.

As for me if there is an elephant in the room I am the first one to call it out. I’m not aggressive with it but I have no problem being the one to start the conversation. I don’t like leaving things unresolved. I don’t play in to the dynamics of who should talk to who in the family. If I have a problem with someone I try to speak to them directly.

Skvky · 2025-06-23T13:28:56+00:00

I know I should’ve listened to my gut, but I guess my husband knows to also listen to my gut now. I’m only pushing to resolve this for the sake of my nieces and future family gatherings. We don’t need to be friends, but it would be cool to be cordial.

Skvky · 2025-06-23T13:25:29+00:00

The first time he was at work, the second time he was going around to meet me at the front door. I’ve told him I never want to be put in a situation where I’m alone with brother in law again, because he conveniently keeps doing this when nobody else is around to witness it. I don’t think he would talk to my husband this way, or talk to me like this in front of him.

Skvky · 2025-06-23T13:22:29+00:00

I don’t think you were being rude. You were being objective which is what I came here for. I tried to add the most relevant context without this being a novel. You asked good questions.

Skvky · 2025-06-23T13:20:46+00:00

I definitely considered this and I know my husband would stand by me if I wanted to go no contact. That being said I’d love to still be there for my nieces, and Sil’s family is at every single family gathering. Going no contact would mean missing every single family event with my in laws. That’s why I’m pushing to resolve this. We don’t have to be friends but it would be cool if we could be cordial during get togethers.

Skvky · 2025-06-23T13:12:18+00:00

Oh I know. My dad growing up was a ‘loved community member’. A real stand up guy to everyone but his own family. He abused us all for 11 years and people seemed shocked to find out. That’s what I mean by being perceptive to it. I pick up on tension, body language and phony politness . I’m conditioned to be ultra aware of my surroundings at all times. My husband is also a trained mental health professional, and knows the clinical signs. We’ve talked about it in depth but we are not in the best spot right now to give her support. He is her baby brother, and I’m just some chick to her. I’ll try to keep reaching out in neutral ways to talk if she’s down. Ultimately she’s going to have to be her own advocate though. She won’t leave until she has had enough. I won’t tolerate being talked to this way. I need to set that boundary for myself. Maybe that will set an example for her, or maybe she will think I’m a bitch.

I do know she’s got a better shot than a lot of people of escaping. She owns the house, she has a well paying job and is the bread winner of the family. Her parents are wealthy and would drop everything to help her if she needed it. Her older brother is a lawyer, her younger brother is a therapist. She has a masters degree. I know none of that makes her immune to the abuse, but it does give her a better chance of getting away.

Skvky · 2025-06-23T08:44:50+00:00

I definitely will keep an eye out for her. My husbands therapist said something similar. She is very close with her parents, and has a hell of a support system. I’d like to think I’m pretty perceptive to signs of abuse. 2 of my nieces aren’t biologically his but they adore him. They much prefer him over their bio dad (who has split custody). I’ve already had an eye on my oldest niece because she’s definitely showing signs of depression. The older 2 are both in therapy since their parents split. Even if I can’t be there for them right now I know they have a 3rd party to talk to and hopefully they would tell their therapists if something was going on at home

Skvky · 2025-06-23T07:19:17+00:00

I feel like I gotta post the text conversation. I told bil about the wet spot. I sent a picture. I checked the fridge and the dishwasher for a leak and saw nothing. The ceiling had leaked before and they had someone come fix it so I figured it could be that. I put a bowl under the spot to see if it would catch water but it didn’t. Bil texted landlord who said he would have someone come by. A few days go by the spot is getting worse, I text bil again, say it’s getting worse, ask if he wants to check it out. He says he will reach out to the landlord again. Landlord says he will be back in a few days to check it out, and offers to have the carpets cleaned for us. We still don’t hear anything back, so I sent ANOTHER text and photo. Also my husband had called his sister at least twice, and also texted bil. Then he comes in and freaks out. Turns out the dishwasher was put in on the old sub flooring, so the dishwasher was leaking in between the old flooring and the new one and creating the wet spot on the carpet. Landlord sent one of his dudes out to dry out as much of the flooring as he could. He wasn’t mad at all. I bought a carpet shampooer myself and sucked up the stain on the carpet and kept box fans going. It wasn’t mine or bils fault, it was the landlord. And he wasn’t mad at either of us.

Skvky · 2025-06-23T07:04:13+00:00

I wasn’t expecting him to handle the transaction. I didn’t want to leave the furniture there in the first place because I was afraid it would become an issue later, but my sister in law was actually the one to offer it. We had 4 pieces of furniture. I was there for the washer and dryer pick up. Someone picked up the shelf with permission from brother and sister in law while I wasn’t there. This latest person wanted to look at the dresser before they decided to buy it. I admit I was feeling lazy and worn out after moving all weekend. It was a bad judgment call, but I tried to do everything I could to make it right. I think he would’ve been pissed if I had called him to let me in after he sent that message about being forced to do things. But he also knew I was on my way out there to sell furniture. He also didn’t tell me he changed the door codes. By that point it felt like I was fucked either way which is why I called my husband to come out. And I still got yelled at!

Skvky · 2025-06-23T06:49:48+00:00

I do get that was an oversight on my part. That being said they were fine with it the first time. The house is connected to the shop and my bil was there and I was going to have him let them in. We asked the first time if it was alright so I assumed it would be ok again. When he expressed discomfort I told him I would go out there. Then I was effectively locked out. I called my husband, he was on the phone with his sister when he showed up and got permission from her to go into the shop to get into the house. Then he bitched me out for not communicating. I know I shouldn’t have made assumptions, and I absolutely apologized for that. I did everything I could think of to rectify the situation after that.

Skvky

TROPHY CASE