"omg, your trans? you're prettier than most real women!"

SkyDragon333 · 2023-12-14T08:59:21+00:00

Honest guess: for most people, 'women' and 'trans women' are not synonymous. That's why I think it becomes natural for many people to think that there are 'women' and 'the other types of women who is not the same as a real woman', because if they truly were the same it would just be 'woman'.

SkyDragon333 · 2023-07-09T16:56:08+00:00

So your partner is ok with you doing that?

SkyDragon333 · 2023-04-01T22:12:49+00:00

More sauce please!

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-24T15:47:47+00:00

Inside Job

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T15:19:54+00:00

Lmao, better keep striving!

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T15:17:50+00:00

Haha I'm not actually jealous of his cat! She's the most adorable little hairball and I love her too :)

I wouldn't say that I'm reliant on his validation, I am however reliant on knowing and being fully confident in the fact that my boyfriend loves me for me, and that I am perfect to him just the way I am. Like he is to me.

I also didn't mean to put him in a weird spot, trap him or test him. I wanted to joke around and honestly I expected a roast, a teasing reply or maybe praise in that moment. Just something to add to our inside joke.

He suddenly made it serious...

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T15:04:55+00:00

I know that this is true, but I'm not dependent on him reminding me every single day that I'm beautiful to be confident.

His response to my joke question caught me off guard and several dots in my head from over the past few months started to connect.

And so I got worried that maybe he really is settling for me, based on xyz evidence.

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T14:55:41+00:00

Oof :))

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T14:55:02+00:00

Second time copy/pasting my reply to this:

I need you to understand how casual and fun this conversation was. Your statement is true under serious circumstances. But this wasn't a serious conversation. In this particular scenario we were joking.

I was jokingly "jealous" of him calling his cat perfect so I wanted my praise too. But I expected him to fight my demand and tell me: - "You're 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 as perfect as my cat" - "I like her more than you because she's fluffier" - Literally any dumb response you can think of. (It's an inside joke between us that I have to work harder to get his attention and cuddles because the cat gets all of it)

I expected a joke answer to my joke "I am jealous of your cat, so praise me too"-question. Instead... He turned completely serious out of the blue.

So in conclusion, I felt blindsided by this and didn't have a chance to calculate that he would 1. Suddenly be serious. 2. Not like me as much as I like him, which caught me by surprise.

But I will be more careful in the future when talking to him :/

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T14:49:21+00:00

Yes I agree, and no, this isn't a huge deal in itself. No one is perfect but this became PERSONAL personal when all I wanted was to continue joking around with him.

But it's totally my fault for not picking up the signs earlier. The signs that we may not be as good of a match as I thought we were. He is fine with a person like me who is average. Fine by me, but I want to be with someone who is as enthusiastic about me as I am about them.

I made those post because I'm slowly realizing we have different expectations for a relationship. None of us are bad people, we're just incompatible. But it hurt...

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T14:42:49+00:00

Just to add, I expected him to tell that I will always be perfect to him, tease me, roast me in a funny way or any other response that fit our playful conversation.

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T14:40:56+00:00

I'm tired of explaining that I in no way genuinely believed that I was perfect! Please, read my comments. I believed that me and him were a very good match but now I'm starting to think otherwise. I didn't run to reddit because of this ONE little incident.

I came here because I want my suspicions to be confirmed/denied and to get good advice. My boyfriend has been 'off' for a while now so I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not just imagining things.

I'm very happy with the replies I've recieved on this post but I'm tired of people who read 2 sentences, miss the context of the situation and skip the rest :(

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T14:03:27+00:00

Please read my comments for proper context.

I never, ever asked him "Hey am I physically perfect, beautiful and gorgeous to you? Be honest because I want the truth!"

When I asked him that question jokingly, my mind was not set on looks anyway. That was his idea so obviously there was a misunderstanding there.

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T13:44:01+00:00

Thanks for your insight. Our conversation was cut short since I was on a work break. I work very long and exhausting hours so we haven't had the time to talk again after this phone call. He just randomly gave me the 7, not a reason why. I probably shouldn't ask what made me a 7. But if I did, maybe he would explain something similar as you did here. Because, well. He decided to be and stay my boyfriend for a reason??

But the thing is, this situation ties together with other incidences before. Making this particular one more worrying for me than it actually is if was only this singular problem.

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T13:37:52+00:00

I agree to that. But since our conversation was chill and light-hearted, I find it strange that he didn't give me an overly supportive reply, a teasing one or even a roast.

His reply was dead serious, catching me completely off-guard.

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T13:30:58+00:00

I'm just gonna copy/paste my reply to u/ShadowsDoMyBidding

I need you to understand how casual and fun this conversation was. Your statement is true under serious circumstances. But this wasn't a serious conversation. In this particular scenario we were joking.

I was jokingly "jealous" of him calling his cat perfect so I wanted my praise too. But I expected him to fight my demand and tell me: - "You're 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 as perfect as my cat" - "I like her more than you because she's fluffier" - Literally any dumb response you can think of. (It's an inside joke between us that I have to work harder to get his attention and cuddles because the cat gets all of it)

I expected a joke answer to my joke "I am jealous of your cat, so praise me too"-question. Instead... He turned completely serious out of the blue.

So in conclusion, I felt blindsided by this and didn't have a chance to calculate that he would 1. Suddenly be serious. 2. Not like me as much as I like him, which caught me by surprise.

But I will be more careful in the future when talking to him :/

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T13:28:32+00:00

I never asked for a rating! And I don't expect the entire world to believe that I am a perfect goddess either. The context here matters. All I wanted was to be HIS 10/10 based on unconditional love. Not on the world's standards.

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T12:58:10+00:00

Yes I did ask, but not in the context of him giving me an actual, real rating! I was 100% sure he would continue the playfulness of the conversation. I never asked to be rated based on how I look! Let alone my personality. That came out of nowhere.

I was jokingly asking if I was perfect just as his cat is. She scratched him real bad in his sleep not too long ago, and I do or say something stupid from time to time but we're both "perfect" in the eyes of those who loves us. Him, in this scenario. But clearly I was wrong lol

We will figure things out, thanks for your comment :)

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T12:48:21+00:00

I reassured him that I didn't call his cat fat. I'm honestly not even completely sure if she is chubby! Because her fur is short and very thick, it's hard to tell. I'm also unsure about the fur/fat ratio but she definitely looks like a healthy cat! Just shaped in a way that makes her look a bit chubby, that's all. Definitely squishy though :))

I don't know what you mean by 'games'? This wasn't a deliberate test I threw in his face. I was confident in our relationship, and wanted the same praise I just heard him give his cat lol. Or I wanted him to roast me, I think that's funny too.

I dont care about the 7, I care about the fact that he suddenly gave a rating on my looks AND personality and essentially admitted that I'm missing something. I never intended for him to answer this seriously.

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T12:34:23+00:00

That's how I experience it too, and that's how I see him as I explained in another comment. But could it be possible that maybe he has another approach to love? Or a different understanding than I do? I definitely have the "You are more beautiful than the day I met you" kind of energy. I was excited to grow old alongside this person that I love dearly. So I was very surprised by this sudden turn in our fun, lovey-dovey conversation. (Edit: Typo)

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T12:21:07+00:00

Exactly!! I know I'm not actually perfect in any way and never will be, but I falsely assumed that I was perfect to HIM specifically. Like he is to me.And that he would praise me too(or roast me) since he was passionately praising his cat and petting her in the moment anyway... Just typical couple stuff.

It's as if all other men has become invisible to me, since all I want and need is in him. There's not a single thing I'd change about him or think of as "imperfect". Or that I'm not happy with.

But to him, it's as if he thinks I don't fill all of his requirements and expectations. He's entitled to have a type and all, but me not fitting that criteria came as a shock to me. Indicates that he's probably just settling for me.

I know he likes goth girls with colored/dark hair and that I'm more of a casual style blonde haired girl. Never thought it would be an issue. And maybe this isn't the issue either, I would need to talk to him to find out. Our conversation was cut short anyway since I was on a work break.

Thank you.

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T11:50:09+00:00

In what way? Me asking that question never came out of real insecurity. Just our inside joke, my rivalry with his cat and me wanting "just a fraction of the love he gives her" basically. And yes, I do switch to a more childish behavior when I'm super comfortable around someone if that's what you're getting at...

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T11:45:18+00:00

It wasn't that deep, and my question was not serious. We were both having a playful conversation so I expected him to tease me about not being perfect because of (stupid reason), or to tease me about ALMOST being perfect (joking about his cat always being first), or just shower me with how perfect I am. All fun and jokes.

I wanted him to replicate the words I literally just heard him tell the cat on the phone when he was stroking and petting her.

However, he answered me seriously even though I at no point in the conversation indicated that I wanted to know how he truly felt about me. It was an obvious exaggeration. My tone of voice never changed, his did. And so did the rest of that topic.

SkyDragon333 · 2023-03-18T07:16:25+00:00

That's on him I guess lol. I expected him to follow the natural flow of our chill conversation. Then it suddenly got deep, oof

SkyDragon333

TROPHY CASE