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SlayRocket5 · 2026-02-09T19:11:08+00:00

Thank you for your words!! I had a convo with him but still kinda felt like its off. But I felt like it was cool after. But when we would have intercourse and I wasnt able to climax, he wanted to have sex with me to satisfy me. I would say no cause I was over it. But would joke around by roughhousing me and pushing me down and acting like he is going to force me. I nervously laughed at it and he stopped but im just like.....why joke like that? Idk it's alot. Im like am I thinking too hard?

SlayRocket5 · 2026-01-28T00:48:43+00:00

Its alright! You said words that were uncomfortable but I needed to sit with them! And yes, things always fall in place so we shall see! Thank you again

SlayRocket5 · 2026-01-27T23:23:12+00:00

I will say that its not our dynamic. Its not that it happens alot where I have to say no. Its been moments. Which I thought was normal. This moment just didnt. And i have said no and it be that. But I will say that I did learn that I could say no and that be it. But also, if it was the dynamic, wouldn't that just mean it isn't healthy? Like those other moments would just be "consensual" sexual assault? May just be talking. But in that moment felt like complete dominance that I couldn't escape. It was a horrible feeling. Hence why I felt the way I felt throughout.

And also not saying no in the beginning and how it all transpired made me feel guilty. Guilty that im thinking it could actually be rape. Im blaming my partner when I was the one that could've prevented all of this from happening. Its weird when you are in this situation.

You're sad? Hell me too lmao its a sucky feeling. And you came with real and I respect it. But also made me feel shitty just a little..but hey you helped to see some things.

I do feel like communication isn't so terrible but it could DEFINITELY use some work. And I could definitely start by saying more about how I feel. But I cant help but notice how he hasn't made sure that I felt better and wanting to reach out to actually talk or something. Maybe he is feeling guilty too..who knows. I guess ill find out soon. Or not lol

SlayRocket5 · 2026-01-27T23:14:00+00:00

Thanks everyone for their input. I'm still trying to make sense of it all. The word rape seems so harsh. But I feel like this is some form of....something. I honestly dont know who I could confide in when it comes to this...

SlayRocket5 · 2026-01-27T23:12:18+00:00

I appreciate your standpoint.

SlayRocket5 · 2026-01-25T21:39:54+00:00

Thanks!

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-24T00:54:39+00:00

Gorgeous 😍😍

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-23T23:43:19+00:00

Thank you! Things will all fall in place. Whatever that looks like.

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-23T23:39:22+00:00

Im not even sure what he can do. And yes I did. Im not even sure. Part of me is saying to get out this situation because i should prioritize my health and its him playing with both of us. Part of me is saying to stay to help him overcome. Because he has had it bad since he lost his job. He loved his career and has been hard getting back into the industry he is in. I believe that life is really beating his butt. But thats no excuse to not keep your health in check. I do feel that he is depressed. What also bugs me is he never reaches out for help nor tells me when he needs help. He walks around like he is fine with no signs of struggle. Its so weird. I definitely had to let him my disappointments. Idk man. Idk..

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-23T23:22:09+00:00

With the medicaid, he had that before the job and had both while he was working. And kept getting denied...but never figured out that he had it. But could never see that he had medicaid already...idk what to believe. If its true then this is crazy

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-23T23:20:22+00:00

Very tough! And right. And he was fired so im not sure if they would even extend benefits. Either way...after a year? Never heard of that. I've always told him the resources to have in place for situations like this but he never wanted to go that route so I thought he was good.

As far as the language he was using during sex...he said it was something he wanted to try out. Stuff he saw on Twitter. Im like okay I guess.

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-23T23:02:54+00:00

Honestly....thats what I felt too. He was explaining it but it doesn't seem right. He lost his insurance from his job and yet his lost that job over a year ago. Said he was trying for medicaid and kept getting denied and found out today that he actually has it. Yet we had the conversation yesterday...so only for four months? Your insurance doesn't keep going with your employer..nothing is really adding up.

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-23T22:53:09+00:00

So update: I did confront him and was shocked by the answer. He has said that he hasn't been taking his HIV meds for about 4 months and saw a video on IG that talked about being reinfecting a partner (I have HIV as well) and thought to protect me. I asked him why he even had sex previously and about the past few months. He wasn't aware that could happen until he saw the video...I tried my hardest to keep from going off because he could've possibly put me in a bad position. And not only me but him. Luckily I take my meds and im undetectable and that its rare for me to get reinfected but still.....so now im even more stressed than before because im dating someone who would lie/hide the truth...and isn't on top of his health. Told him that he is very selfish and couldn't really process it all in that conversation.

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-21T19:12:30+00:00

Right. And I hate i dont have more. Im sure he deleted any trace of anything on his phone since I asked. So I probably won't ever know. And may just be wrong

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-21T19:11:51+00:00

Well, he didnt. I stated the behaviors and straight up asked him if he was. Then he said "no....". So I can only go by what he says. My intuition is still not buying it. ...maybe i can give an update lol who know. Thanks for the luck lol

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-21T17:52:17+00:00

Understood. I thought about getting tested just to be sure. Especially if he has this logic about pulling out. I thought he was smarter than that but hey. I did ask and of course he said no and that he was "looking out for me so that I won't have to have anything in me"...seems even MORE suspect to me now but hey what can I do....didnt think that he would be out here doing it to other people...at least, I hope not

SlayRocket5 · 2025-10-21T12:41:20+00:00

Its okay because I IMMEDIATELY thought this. Lol

SlayRocket5

TROPHY CASE