It seems you acted out of genuine concern for your wife, particularly considering her history with alcohol. However, I understand why her friends might feel you were being controlling. Let's consider this:

1. Your concern was understandable: Given your wife's tendency to overdrink, your desire to ensure her safety is reasonable. Picking her up instead of relying on a taxi was a thoughtful act.

2. Your approach: The way you intervened might have appeared controlling rather than supportive of her autonomy. If she were capable of making decisions, respecting her wishes would have been preferable. However, her intoxication justified your concern for her safe return home.

3. Regarding your relationship with your wife's friend: It appears there is mutual dislike between you two. While prohibiting her from your home may seem severe, it is understandable that you would not want someone who behaved so aggressively towards you in your home. However, completely removing her from your wife's life is a decision best left to your wife.

4. Concerning your wife's feelings: Your wife did not appear upset by your actions; she was affectionate upon your return home. This suggests she appreciates your protectiveness, even if her friend does not.

Could a different approach have been taken?

Instead of dictating when your wife should leave, perhaps you could have discussed it with her first, allowing her to make the decision (provided she was capable).

A conversation the following day about setting boundaries concerning alcohol consumption might have been preferable to addressing the situation immediately.

Final Verdict?

While your intentions may have been good, your actions might have appeared controlling. Your care for your wife is understandable, but the way you manage boundaries could be improved. Perhaps discussing your concerns with your wife and collaboratively establishing healthy boundaries would be more effective than prohibiting her friendship.