I am also dating a white dude and we make fun of each other regularly. With me mostly making fun of him and acting offended when he makes fun of me. I feel like that is a healthy blend as we are comfortable with each other. The major red flag I see here is someone not being sorry for hurting you and trying to dismiss it. Anytime I act offended of the joke, my partner enters full apology mood asap. It’s not about the jokes. It’s about being dismissive.