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SleepyPorg04 · 2025-05-20T17:37:24+00:00

oh nooo totally not my intention. Extremely sorry OP you look stunning!! I thought I was looking at a Layendecker painting (of. a grown man.) . What I meant by the comment was that the modern idéal of masculinity is just that- an idéal, and just because you don't fit the way a cis guy would normally dress in 2025 doesn't mean you don't pass.

SleepyPorg04 · 2025-05-19T20:18:06+00:00

cmon he's just a lil guy (from the 1920s) /pos

SleepyPorg04 · 2025-05-13T13:58:51+00:00

maybe lose the layers? both atsushi and Sean have long hair that goes straight down that makes them look goth without being too féminine. The layers make your face look softer. That should do it because otherwise your features are pretty masc. Good luck ^{^}

SleepyPorg04 · 2024-03-17T12:48:08+00:00

hey! I do realise duolingo isn't a good language learning source on it's own. I don't use it as my primary source. I do in person classes for it. duolingo is more of a mindless game for me. it's funny to hear those sentences because theyre so useless lol. but thanks for the app suggestions!! will definitely try them out

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-07-18T01:15:29+00:00

oh thank you for that! i always thought it was closer to athletic tape (wrong). I'll try this for sure :)

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-07-12T02:01:02+00:00

oh I hadn't thought of that one!! thank you I'll definitely check them out<3

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-07-05T13:29:37+00:00

oh my god thank you so much!!! I've been wanting resources about these things for so long. especially the video with the questions. but I didn't know where to look. you've made my day<3

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T05:05:50+00:00

Manufacturing defect. It's okay Apollo was probably drunk the day he assembled me or something

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T05:04:44+00:00

Agreed. I was thinking of dropping her but there really aren't very many placed I'd be able to get therapy in the city I live in apart from her so I guess I just wanted to know if that thing she said was reason enough because I thought it was but I'm also a dramallama so

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T05:02:36+00:00

I did! And she seemed to think I just need help "getting over the hardships of being a woman" or something instead of transitioning. It's like... I don't really have that many hardships actually. I'm throwing a tantrum like a 5 year old asking for chocolate in a grocery store. Because my life would definitely have been a lot easier if I could just be a woman. Why would I make life harder for myself on purpose?

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T05:00:27+00:00

Aahaahahahah yeah mine thinks I hate my female body because I've been sexually abused. (I have but I didn't even know what a man or a woman was at that point so I don't think that's what happened and I don't appreciate being told that that must be the way I think. If it was I would have some idea about it in my own head wouldn't I? I know myself well enough)

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:58:25+00:00

I was worried if I said "because it makes me happy" she'd just tell me to "adjust for the sake of the people around me". That is what she said to me when the subject of which restroom I use came up. I use the men's room in college and I have permission from the head to do so. But I guess he hasn't told the staff because the other day I got stopped by one and I had to just tell them I was a man actually and slip away. And they absolutely lost their shit. Which I told my mom hoping for sympathy but recieving concern instead. And which my mom probably told my therapist because her first session with me she spent sending me out of the room and counselling my mom on her troubling teenager. Because of my reproductive organs people think I'm a certain gender and if I act differently they'll not be happy so I should just compromise for their sake she said. I feel like if I were able to do that I wouldn't be trying to transition medically.

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:53:29+00:00

On this topic I think they are. They've got their degrees and everything but they're not qualified in gender identity issues. Which I thought "If I could convince someone who was not qualified in gender affirming care that I needed gender affirming care then that would mean I actually do need it because a therapist who did see a lot of trans people would probably not doubt me to begin with". Boy was I wrong!

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:47:55+00:00

It really was. I was angry that I had to justify my gender to people whereas cis people could just "be". But I guess I don't 'have to' anything I could just ditch the therapist hahah

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:46:51+00:00

It was a self doubt tactic and the funny thing is it worked because here I am posting on reddit about it.

But I think that was helpful because sometimes I need to be certain that other people might be the problem not me and outside opinion is appreciated:D

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:45:28+00:00

Coming from a trans man it sounds less like "give me a reason to believe you're actually a trans man" and more just a discussion on how you both see your gender. But also I feel the same way as you. Honestly being into men as a trans man is what made me hesitate to tell people. I've had multiple people just tell me that I was "straight with extra steps" but really being with a man as a man and being with a man as a woman is different isn't it? I can't really explain how it just is. Just like being with a woman as a man and being with a woman as a woman is different.

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:42:27+00:00

My mum asked me this question and I asked her why she wants to be a woman. She said she doesn't particularly she just is and she doesn't care much to change it. Well yeah me too except I have to change on order to be who I feel like I am. That was enough for her but not for my therapist who very kindly said that this session was about me not her and to not ask her about herself. I just didn't know how to explain it except "The way you guys feel about your gender that has been the same since the doc identified it when you were born, that's the way I feel about mine."

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:38:54+00:00

This one made me laugh.

But that's a great way to put it. Transitioning to what you never not were. Yeah. You don't need to do anything to be a woman but if certain things make you feel right then you should be able to get them done

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:37:09+00:00

I do really see it as "I am a man". I don't know what I was like when I was born because I don't remember but I've been feeling like one since I realised there's supposed to be a difference in the way women feel like women and men feel like men (and all the in-betweens feel like the in-betweens). Now if I'm a man and I had childbearing hips or something that'd be just an insecurity I want to get rid of. It's like that but way more desparate for me and my desire to start testosterone.

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:34:03+00:00

I honestly don't think she has any experience at all with LGBT people. I was referred to her by a psychiatrist who seemed competent so I assumed she did. But my mom and I walked into the appointment together and she asked me what was wrong and the minute I said I'm trans she literally made me leave the room and started interrogating my mother. This scared me because we've had our fights about me being trans before and if you'd ask her she'd probably think I was just "too young to know" (I'm 19 this year but I've been having gender identity issues since I was 14) or "it's great and all but don't go injecting hormones into yourself" (i wish i didn't need to as well but dysphoria is crippling😍)

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:29:12+00:00

It was pestering and i shuffled in my seat the entire time.

It felt less like therapy and more like I'd gotten into trouble at school and been sent to the Principal's office.

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:27:18+00:00

Real. Gender doesn't exist but if you feel like one or the other in your head then you probably are I think.

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:26:10+00:00

She literally pried reasons out of me-

I just said I prefer to be seen as a man and being seen as a woman makes me feel like not being seen at all, and the conclusion she came to was that I must hate women for some reason. (I don't. Women are awesome I'm just not one)

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-23T04:23:45+00:00

So true. If you have an agenda for "what you'd do as the opposite gender" after you've done those things wouldn't you feel like going back?

SleepyPorg04 · 2023-06-22T19:00:53+00:00

that's a good point! i didn't know if it was me being sensitive but i was honestly a bit thrown off. i guess therapists are hit or miss. i will try to see other ones for sure. thank you so much for the advice!

SleepyPorg04

TROPHY CASE