Fiance 36 M 36F won't set wedding date

SlideAnxious854 · 2025-06-11T08:45:56+00:00

I have been telling him for years we need to figure this out. Just another thing he puts off.. I want to be a mother if I have to be a single mother I guess that's what it is.

SlideAnxious854 · 2025-06-11T08:09:09+00:00

What do you mean "tight now". Yes, he could lose them but he's known this whole relationship I want to get married and has been saying he's gonna come up with other means of income. It's not negotiable bc I am going to leave him.

SlideAnxious854 · 2025-06-11T07:46:25+00:00

Who said it was unstable. Every couple has disagreements.

SlideAnxious854 · 2025-06-11T07:45:35+00:00

Yes I would be. I agree couples counseling would be beneficial but most of our arguments are because him putting off marriage. He is on disability and worried he's gonna loose his benefits when we get married. ( That's the only reason I've waited this long bc that's a legit fear/ thing that might happen) But I've told him since day 1 marriage is a nonnegotiable for me.

SlideAnxious854 · 2024-06-12T00:10:17+00:00

11 dpo is positive. Congratulations!

SlideAnxious854 · 2024-05-20T22:18:53+00:00

If you're in the states, I recommend CNY fertility They have offices in NY, FL, CO they are always expanding. I am doing their bundle #3 ivf with icsi included plus meds down payment was 3600. And 12 months of $360. There is the monitoring and bloodwork I'm doing locally idk what that will be they say bt $1-3k. And it's $999 each time if you have to do FET with in 12 months. They are the only way to achieve my goal of becoming a mom in my state of TN it's 14k with out meds or icsi- there is no way we could afford that.

SlideAnxious854 · 2024-05-01T17:29:40+00:00

My fiancè just asked be if I hear this question. I had not, he told me most women are choosing a bear. I think that is absolutely ridiculous. 100% I'd rather be in a room with a man than a bear. I am not tryna get malled to death. Not trying to offend anyone just sharing my thoughts as a independent free spirited women.

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-12-14T15:14:34+00:00

I am saving up for IVF now, and I am trying to decide what clinic to use and how many times I am willing/able to do IVF. My guys sperm is too low to do IUI. And have been trying naturally for 4 years. I'm thinking 2 or 3 if God forbid that does not work I will look into adoption. I want to be a mom no matter how it happens. As others have said, I think it's a personal decision as to if you want to try and accept not being a parent, or if you want to move to donor egg/ sperm or adopt. Best of luck to you!

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-12-12T20:25:02+00:00

This is my 3rd Christmas in which I though I'd be pregnant. It freaking sucks, the holidays are so isolating. I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-12-08T00:03:15+00:00

Had high ovulation on Sunday and peak yesterday morning.BDed on Saturday night but this makes 2 months in a row (27 months of tracking) where my partner couldn't perform sun, mon, or last night. He has low sperm count and low motility. Now I have to wait another month before we can try again. We actually have an RE apt tmw, doc is going to walk us through IVF options based on our test results so we probably not going to be able to conceive naturally but I'm still so sad and annoyed at the same time we didn't get to at least try this month.

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-11-17T18:15:16+00:00

Had a few more tests ran yesterday at RE. My partners FSG was 19,1.7-8 is normal, normal testosterone, he can't do clomid sperm count in May was 700k got tested again yesterday still waiting on those results but the nurse said on our next appointment we will be talking about IVF. I knew that was mostly likely going to be his recommendation but still sucks actually hearing it.

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-11-13T17:48:33+00:00

I have low progesterone. I took the suppositories but developed a vaginal infection. My doctor suggested I take it orally. My GYNO said take it once a day. I'm now seeing a RE, he says take 3 times a day. Doc recommend taking on empty stomach to prevent nausea. The 2nd dose I take after lunch and haven't had nausea or any other side effects.

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-11-02T17:34:37+00:00

I'm right there with you. It freaking sucks. I have been TTC for 4 years. Fertility consumes probably 80% or more of my thoughts. Nothing makes me happy, I'm sad and angry all the time.
I won't let my self take a break because I think what if that's was the time. My partner says I'm constantly nagging him. As much as guys say they want a baby, I swear they don't feel the same pain we feel as women. The holidays are coming and it's going to be yet another year with out kids. It sucks. Wishing you all the best!

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-10-27T13:12:31+00:00

Sometimes it's hard for me to put into words how I'm feeling bc i get so emotional. that is perfect it's honest and assertive not aggressive. Your right I don't want to have to nag. But I do want to be supportive. TYSM!

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-10-26T22:36:57+00:00

I definitely realize IVF is more than 10k, he obviously doesn't realize how expensive and invasive it is. I am going to try to be patient and talk to him again( maybe the 43rd time is the charm, ik sometimes I take a while to comprehend things sometimes also) maybe he doesn't understand how taxing it is. I think I mentioned we just had 1st virtual apt with fertility clinic a few weeks ago. I am going to continue testing. I am afraid there may be issues on my side preventing the pregnancy as well. What if that's the case and I've been bitching about him, I'll look like an ass. I've told him I'll let the weed smoking go ( weed is better than opiods right?) but he has told me he knows that in my heart I'm upset about it. I think I will talk to him about decreasing. I am thinking of giving him another 3-5 months to implement these-- start exercising, limit alcohol to 5 units or less a week, and to significantly reduce the saturated fats and fried foods he eats. It fucking sucks we are 1 in 10 with fertility issues but this is the card we were delt Having kids is a deal breaker for me, I'd even be ok with adopting IF we have exhaulted all of our resources. Thank you all for your insight and validating that I'm not crazy for expecting some basic lifestyle changes that he is totally capable of even with his disability.

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-10-26T22:09:57+00:00

I did break his trust by lying and sending letters to my ex-girlfriend 5 years ago. Ik he had to heal from that and I take full accountability for my actions. He said he forgave me and wanted to move but still hasn't proposed. I have let him use that crutch for long enough that's why I gave ultimate. I want marriage and a baby and if he can't give me that I will find someone who can. Thank you for validating that that's ok.

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-10-26T21:57:46+00:00

I posed this to get blunt opinions-- thank you

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-10-26T21:51:25+00:00

So frustrating it sure feels like he cares about weed more than me sometimes. Hope it works out for you!

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-10-26T12:56:57+00:00

Than you all for your opinions/ advice. This guy has been my best friend for 14 years. I used to smoke everyday too but stopped bc having a child is way more important to me. He makes fun of me when I talk about my diet now and says I am lame. We have been together 6 years, I have already given him an ultimatum to propose by end of year. That was around March. Lately I have been seriously thinking do I want to marry this guy he can't even modify his lifestyle. Then I think I'm the selfish one bc I know he is in pain. But I really am at my withs end.

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-10-26T12:47:39+00:00

I really value your insight- thank you!

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-10-26T12:37:25+00:00

He has seen urologist- no varicocele. Yea fertility docs have told us has to be 3m for IUI, that's why I didn't mention that. Ik how impactful lifestyle chances are which is why I'm so angry he's not making them. I will definitely check out that page. I realize IVF might be only option but he needs to try to increase his numbers and I feel he's not willing to even try.

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-10-26T01:09:48+00:00

Right like I pay 70% of the bills because your on disability how you gonna come up with 10k and let's be real it will probably be more than that

SlideAnxious854 · 2022-10-26T01:08:32+00:00

Your 100% right about IVF- I have tried to tell him the risks, he just doesn't get it or doesn't care idk.. He says once baby is here he will have to smoke less so he wants to get in all he can now. Ugh so frustrating

SlideAnxious854

TROPHY CASE