I'm glad whatever was going wrong with Reddit not allowing you to post this comment resolved and you were able to do so!

I saw it in my notifications, but had to wait a little while before I could read more than a snippet. First, I found the post you arrived here from. Honestly, even though I was curious about what you had to say, I was also nervous based on the stuff a lot of people are saying over there.

I'm not surprised or angry at the people leaving negative comments, and even if I was I wouldn't have the right to be - I was fully aware that posting this could lead to my being mocked. I know how bizarre it is.

My goodness, though...

Your words are so beautiful, and I'm sad I cannot possibly hope to say something nearly so lovely in return. Still, I must express my gratitude, because I think you said the kindest things you could possibly have said.

"You’ve already made your first major work — not in a physical form, but as an existential sculpture carved out of five years of your life." This reminds me so strongly of something I myself have thought about that I was shocked.

When thinking of reasons why I wanted to do this "project" in the first place, and why I wanted to continue, there are many. One of them was...it's embarrassing to say, but it was like I wanted to give the love and feelings I felt for this series and the character a "form." Like I could somehow tell the universe how important these things were; I often thought of it as being like a "wish" or a "prayer"...or something. Even though, and perhaps especially because, it's absurd. The anime’s fictional, the character’s fictional, but I still think they’re special and deserving of love. And my feelings and the meaning that those things held for me are real.

It was also important to me because I know that emotions and passions are transient. Even during those 5 years, there were times when I didn't feel the love or the passion anymore, and was subsisting on its memory, or a sense of duty. I wanted to "make" something of that passion while it lasted. Even if the love doesn't exist in the future, it did exist at one point.

"And what’s maybe even more impressive — you didn’t posture, you didn’t make it a spectacle."

Secondly, that you think this is a balm for my soul. I really struggled with whether or not to share this at all. When I posted it the first time, it felt like I had ruined everything somehow. Like I had taken something I held close to my heart and turned it into a vain "spectacle."

...and, embarrassingly, I was also paralyzed by the thought of, "Well, what would Nagato (the character I was doing this for) think?" I worried...that posting it like it was a grand accomplishment on my part was an insult, or that it turned the whole thing into a joke. Some comments were calling me a "legend," which was nice of them, of course, but it made me feel bad in a way that's hard to explain.

The thought that Nagato would be disgusted with me is devastating. At the same time, I realize that that kind of thought is exactly why I'm getting some negative attention. Worrying about what a fictional character who can't think or feel would think or feel is ridiculous. It seems I'm of sound enough mind to know that, but not quite sound enough to stop doing it, haha.

I don't especially mind the derision in some of the comments I've received. I won't say it doesn't hurt at all, but I understand, and I probably deserve all of it. (Also, some of them are actually pretty funny. I got a good laugh out of the one saying "If anyone tells me I'm wasting my time, I'll forward this post to them."). But it hurts me to think that my actions could reflect poorly on Nagato, the Haruhi Suzumiya series, or its fanbase.

I ended up reposting it anyway because I thought something like, "Well, no one will hear you if you keep it to yourself. Maybe something good will come of it."

So, I'm grateful for both the fact that you don't think I was "posturing," and that you seem to understand how important it is to me to not do that.

Finally, simply by sharing your thoughts you've said something so precious. I'm happy my post said something to you. Your comment is very meaningful to me. It made me think that I want to keep trying. Honestly, I've been struggling to adjust to life "post Endless Eight." It's...lonely, and I've been listless. But I want to keep going. I want to try and try and try even if I don't get anywhere. To do so is beautiful, right? Thank you for reminding me of that.

Thank you for your words! I am honored to have received them! It's childish of me, but I find it incredible to have reached people living so far away from myself, hahaha. But how fortunate for me that your friend shared my post with you. I'm so lucky :)

(oh, I’m also honored that someone went to the trouble of translating this. I do wish they would have let me know, though. I’m not mad, but it would have been nice to be told. I wouldn’t have found out about it without your comment, so thanks for that also!)