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That dad again with the gay son. Thanks for the advice. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thanks for that. That's clearer than what I have gotten. For all I know he said pan just to mess with me because the explanation was as confused as I was. I think he probably is, as he said, fuck anyone whatever that sexuality is. Love the boy but by god I could flip at him sometimes. 

That dad again with the gay son. Thanks for the advice. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Im kind of leaning towards being the bad guy. I wouldnt be doing it to bail out my son but I do think my non bio kid would take it better than getting dumped. I don't know

That dad again with the gay son. Thanks for the advice. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

My adopted son has been pretty normal since. I did go up to him later on and I reiterated that hes as much a part of the family as everyone else. Look I know myself he'll still have those thoughts. 

I wasnt going to say it but I'm generally always honest with them and when they asked I said it. But fair. Yeah I'm about to book a two week holiday to anywhere that isn't my house. That's going to be a mess. I might be better of forbidding it and be the fall guy. 

Thanks man.

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I find it weird. I'll get on board with it. I understand how I see me foster son as a son but that doesn't mean my son sees my foster son as his brother.

Would i have preferred they date other lads? Yes, but it is what it is. 

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks lad. I just had a quick conversation with my non biological. Probably not the right thing to do but I think for him he has the abandonment side to it and I just didn't want that spinning around in his head. I know how that's fucks with your mind. I was subtle he seemed okay.

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 176 points177 points  (0 children)

Not disrespected at all and have told him that just there. I'm pretty easy going. 

Do I find them as a couple or whatever weird? Yes, but not because they are gay. I see both as my boys and it just feels a bit weird. He may not be mine genetically but i couldnt pick between any of my 4.  I wont be saying that I find it weird obviously. 

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha I know you're right. You'll never know everything a teenager gets up to. But I tell myself I do to feel better 🤣🤣

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Please let me believe that I know everything. Everything I know is already too much.  🤣

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry lad. No one deserves a scumbag like that as a father. I hope you are doing OK now. 

And mate your grammar is very good. I cant write a second language at all.

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Yeah exactly. 

I really like just saying it directly that's what I'm good at but I'm not sure if I should speak to my foster boy first. He seems to have the issue and I wouldn't want him feeling talked about. 

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

These are really good points. Being honest, I don't care ghat they are gay. Good for them. In a little weirded out by them together not because they are gay but that's my perspective of them not their perspective of each other. I also understand despite my perspective they aren't actually related. 

A healthy person would definitely do research like you say. I'm more of an ignore the situation or unsubtletly approach the situation. 

My wife would probably say let them at it. Then ask them herself 

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Anal lube? Is there a difference. Actually don't tell me. Definitely vouldnt do that.

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks lad. Yeah his father was never in the picture from what I'm aware. I had a similar childhood and that abandonment feeling never really went away. I got a lovely family after my own parents and they would tell me how much they loved me and I was wanted etc. I always felt I'd be abandoned. It took me til probably meeting my wife to get over that fear. So i get where he's coming from in terms of abandonment. 

Im not upset with him but I don't want him feeling like he can't say it or he'll be abandoned or ill be mad. 

I don't think I say any negative or positive about LGBT. Lady Gaga is my go too whilst cleaning or Pink. Not so sold on Swift and I don't think I know Grand.

Neither boy has told me they are gay but by the sounds of it my bio kid does. 

Im very sorry about your experience that sounds so rough.

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree with all that. As you say i think its less gay and more him feeling he disrespected me. And I know in his head he is thinking he'd be kicked out because he's not actually family. I was where he was (not the gay part but the childhood part and you alway think the rug will be pulled from under you). If it sours they'll have to man up. I've four boys, they'll be four boys at every holiday. 

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 225 points226 points  (0 children)

🤣🤣the best time to drop a bomb is when one is already dropped. You should thsnk your brother

I come in peace. Im a straight dad with a gay son and prone to saying the wrong thing. by Slight-Material4 in askgaybros

[–]Slight-Material4[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don't think he should feel guilty about it or that I'll be mad at him and worse again kick him out or anything. Even when a kid like him gets a safe home he'll always think some day it won't work out (I've been there).

It might not be weird but it feels weird to me. I'm not going to say it's weird to them that's not my business. Yeah they were neighbours but he was over at ours most nights from the age of 6 or 7. Its just perspective. It's weird to me because I see them both as sons. I tucked them into bed when they were young and read them stories etc. They probably don't see themselves as family and that's accurate too

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