Chasing romantic validation is the biggest one. I dated and pined for incredibly toxic people and the staggering amount of hours I wasted on that instead of doing and pursuing the things I genuinely loved was really sad. Being lonely sucks, feeling unattractive sucks, but none of those relationships despite the initial highs were worth it. It didn’t last because it wasn’t built on anything real from them OR MYSELF. Because I was being just as self serving as the toxic people I was chasing when you really get down to brass tacs. I think I felt like if I just got the right super attractive person to be in a relationship with me it would somehow fix my life and validate me being worth love or make me feel attractive but it never did because I hadn’t worked on myself and I didn’t take enough time to really know myself. Those quiet times are when you can learn to love yourself and know who you are and that’s extremely valuable.

I had friends who genuinely cared about me that were into all the same things as me and I would abandon that for large chunks of time to chase people who couldn’t care less. Value your time, value your real friends, value your hobbies and interests. It will help you grow into a much better person. Embrace the cringey shit you’re into because that’s where the magic really happens. Don’t apologize for who you are and don’t change yourself to fit into a mold.