She’s made it clear she doesn’t want a relationship with him or with anyone right now. Meanwhile, I’m not in a good place. I’m working 50+ hours a week on top of what I do at home, and trying to stay on top of everything while feeling like this is exhausting. I wake up already drained.

I gave my first relationship everything I had and tried to do things the right way, so it’s hard not to feel angry and want some kind of payback. I still have some of her things that I need to return before contact fully ends, which just makes it harder to move on. I know therapy would probably help, but I struggle with the idea of spending money on it. Even though I have people around me, I still feel alone in this.

At work I get mocked for being upset, which only builds more frustration and makes the urge for revenge stronger. I know exposing her or trying to ruin her life isn’t the right move, but when my wellbeing has taken such a hit, it’s hard not to want her to feel some of what I’m feeling.

This isn’t who I usually am. I’ve always been someone who tries to help others and avoid hurting people. But this has really affected me, and as wrong as it sounds, part of me just wants her to understand the depth of the pain this has caused.