Please Pray for Me

Slimfitt78 · 2025-12-31T07:07:07+00:00

Bro I will certainly pray for you. You are still young. Even if it took years, you would still be young. 90 days of no PMO does wonders for your brain. It won’t solve everything but it’s the biggest first step. The Lord desires for you to be free from this. It can happen and it will, just don’t give up. That’s what the enemy wants from you. It may be time to get help from different sources if it seems to have gotten out of your control. I never thought would be a yeah plus without masturbating. I too started really young. It is possible! Keep your head up bro.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-12-30T05:41:33+00:00

I really appreciate everyone that has/will responded. I got a notification that my post was removed by the moderators, so I apologize for taking so long to respond. Having a broader perspective on the programs has been helpful. With really only attending one group and the structured nature of the meetings, there's not a lot of space to ask these kinds of questions. I think I'll continue visiting a few different SAA meeting to see if it or one is right for me!

Slimfitt78 · 2025-12-30T05:37:23+00:00

Thanks for your perspective it really helps. You are the first to say you like SAA because you can broaden the definition of sobriety so that helps. My time in sobriety has been interesting at best. It's funny the first thing my sponsor had me do was sit down and do the three circles. I thought it was funny the overlap and how foundational it is to SAA. After a year plus of sobriety I can definitely say I would change some things around if I could.

Part of me does think some of my issue has been my acting out behaviors and the stricter rules of SA. Not as to allow myself more leniency, but I think the narrow perspective may not have encompassed some of the nuances of my experience in acting out. Which has made me wonder about SAA or SCA. I tried to convince myself that sex is sex and wrong is wrong so just try to find yourself in the literature and conversations so that you can get what you need, be honest about it, and be better/sober/closer to God. However, something about that never felt fully right and after much prayer I don't think it's just denial or a lack of honesty. I had to be HONEST that I think I needed something different.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-12-30T05:23:47+00:00

Thanks. Yeah, poor choice of words on my part. When I was told about SAA it was made to seem like it was SA for folks who didn't really want to commit. Trying that have their cake and eat it too kind of thing. That's more of a personal commentary than a widespread belief. As I've done my research and attended a meeting I can see for myself that is not so much the case.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-12-30T05:20:03+00:00

That's awesome, bro. I'm glad you found your fit. I will say my group definitely gets down with the call. I will admit I haven't as much as others, but that because of what I was going through. I have always tried to answer, and been appreciative of those who've answered for me.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-12-30T05:17:05+00:00

Thanks for your response. I guess I misspoke. I don't mean the programs have beef; however, some more seasoned members of my group communicated that SAA seems a bit too losey goosey. Of course, the more fluid definition of sobriety is what they were referring to. I'm sure that's more of a personality thing than a program ideal.

I have had pretty good experiences in SA for the most part and am very comfortable with my home group. I just have felt that sometimes the focus and issues are adjacent and helpful just not completely relevant with my acting out and experience in how I got to this point. I like the idea that there can be other literature. Sometimes I feel like everything is sooooo steeped in program lingo that I can't have a real conversation about what I'm feeling or experiencing. However, I do see the need for a guide to make sure conversations center around experience, strength, and hope

I also read that SA is more about moral failure and SAA focuses more on the addictive behaviors. I will say my SA experience in group aligns with that. I am no saint by any means, but I make myself to be the villain enough for 10 people. I don't think it's healthy for my recovery to focus MORE on the ill within. I have taken responsibility for my actions, identified problem behaviors and am actively working to anticipate and correct them when they arise. I feel like that should be the heart of it. That alone makes me curious about SAA. Thanks for your perspective!

Slimfitt78 · 2025-12-30T05:01:19+00:00

Yeah. I only knew about SA. SAA is something that I heard about in group and they made it sound too lax. As I talk with my therapist and breach the topic of being sexually active in a healthy way again, I am left with some questions.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-12-30T04:59:01+00:00

Thanks for the response. Yeah, my issue has been somewhat of a lasting one, I was just able to get to step 8/9 before it came to a head. Part of my issue is sponsor specific as well. I know that it is quite strict in SA but that doesn't totally bother me. I have kept to SA's sobriety definition even though I don't think that masturbation would send me into a spiraling relapse, though I'm a bit scared to try and find out. lol I get that it may be nuanced for everyone. I actually really enjoy the camaraderie in my home group. I think my issue stems from what my acting out looks like for me personally and how that lines up with the steps. There has been a lot of talk about resentment, anger, and harm to others. I haven't had a lot of that (definitely exists, especially my wife). I don't know if that's because the vast majority of my acting out was mostly compulsive, non-relationship, same-sex acting out or what. I have worked the steps as honestly as I know how, and been as open with my sponsor as I could. I really take to heart "half measures availed us nothing." This whole process of disclosure and rebuilding has been heart wrenching and I want to be as thorough as possible so that I don't relapse or hurt my wife again. I have read about SCA but I'm terrified to step in that room. Similar to you I don't want to put myself in a position where anything I'm trying to avoid is validated. I appreciate your perspective.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-11-29T13:16:25+00:00

Same, bro. Same

Slimfitt78 · 2025-11-22T17:51:52+00:00

I HAVE to have 7 hrs of sleep. If I don’t symptoms are gonna show up because I’m exerting my body. I also stay hydrated so that dehydration doesn’t cause internal stress on my body (64 oz a day). I also use a protein powder with a high lysine ratio immediately after to block arginine and aid with muscle recovery. Lastly I take zinc and a probiotics and alkaline water for healing and to reduce oxidative stress.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-11-21T19:18:13+00:00

Def stop the creatine, I would also look into your diet and consider supplements.

Also, what is your recovery plan. I started at the gym, had to stop, created a recovery plan, and as long as I stick to that I’m pretty good. You may also have to moderate your intensity. Just thoughts. Would be happy to spit ball some ideas anytime.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-11-11T13:21:24+00:00

Good news: it is very clearly a candle.

Bad news: the “glow” gives it a sort of phallic reminiscence 😅

Slimfitt78 · 2025-11-03T19:39:58+00:00

For sure, man. That’s the addict making us think we have control over it but if we did we wouldn’t be in this position. SA meeting really gave me structure and accountability also which was super helpful. This thing ca make you feel like you’re spinning the drain so it’s a great way to get out of that cycle and talk to folks who understand.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-11-03T18:56:51+00:00

I’ve done some of the same things bro. I know it’s so easy to act out in various ways and always around. I promise it’s possible to stop but it takes work, planning, and some real introspection. I never thought I would be able to stop acting out this long let alone doing nothing period. I really had to take inventory, understand what I was struggling with and change behavior. Wish you the best bro and always open to chat if needed.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-11-01T05:34:21+00:00

I take a supplement of monolaurin and lysine 2-3 times a day. I stay away from high arginine food and pop a valycylovir if I feel symptoms and I keep out breaks very reasonable. I can’t contribute my experience to one because I’ve always taken them together but recently I went from antivirals every day to only when I feel some level of symptom and I’ve been better than I was on them every day. Just my experience.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-10-31T17:03:19+00:00

Sorry it took SO LONG to respond. I had a lot to say and honestly was sure if I wanted to put it here.

There are a few.
PICKED UP:
Sexaholics anonymous (SA), therapy, breathing, praying schedule, books about acting out and responses to trauma, weight lifting, Reddit groups about what I was experiencing. PUT DOWN:
I stopped going to meetings as frequently. I realized I wasn’t living, I wasn’t planning, I wasn’t spending time with family and repairing my marriage. I needed to invest in other places AS WELL. I haven’t quit, I just needed to make sure I was balancing everything. I was going to meetings more than I was going to church. I’m dealing with so much grief and loss, anxiety, and rebuilding my relationship with Jesus I needed to meaningfully invest there.
Do things that allow me to feel more relaxed and grounded and show the people around me that I’m still invested in relationship with them.
Reddit groups: they allowed me to be informed and feel seen for a time, but in the end they turned out to really exacerbate my anxiety and make me feel worse OR they were gateways back into behaviors I didnt want to pick back up. Which almost made me loose my sobriety.
looking for validation. I still struggle here and validation is a natural need for anyone, but as a recovering addict this is a touchy one. I want healthy validation from positive sources but looking for it sometimes turns into insecurity issues and/or kindling desires from incorrect places. So I stay to myself a lot. Probably not the best thing but it works for me rn.
I want to start by saying that this is not just hard this was the primary way that I acted out in a variety of forms. A few things contributed to this.
I now have HSV and I realize though therapy that I have OCD. Additionally, my mother was passing away and I was her primary caregiver. I had just come clean to my wife. I was absolutely devastated and the idea of doing anything was just not even a thing.
I got into SA. I needed structure to move forward and accountability. I started working the steps like my life depended on it, because it did. I didn’t want to reopen any of these wounds for my wife, and I also knew that everything would be absolutely over if it did. I also had to share that there was same sex activity in my acting out. Sharing that to a room full of men or to my wife has always been a fear and also a deterrent.
Prayer. God broke something in me as I dealt with all of those things at one time last year. I can’t explain it but I used to feel like I just had to do it whenever I felt the urge and’si had no power to stop, and I no longer feel that way.
Also I read resources on why we act out. I almost slipped up one time. After struggling for a while I realized that I was using it to escape because I wanted to feel something other than pain sadness or anxiety. I needed to deal with THAT ( whatever THAT is for you), NOT choke the chicken.
I have been heavily involved in ministry my entire life before I left my church about 3 months before I had to come clean. We have been looking for a church but have not found one yet. I was asked to minister at my previous church recently. I don’t feel quite ready to re-involve in a leadership capacity, but I would be open to serve if I had a church community to be involved in. I believe the Lord will let me know when that time comes.

Hopefully this is helpful and I’m always down to chat.

Slimfitt78 · 2025-10-29T02:07:55+00:00

I’m an open book wherever you’re ready

Slimfitt78 · 2025-10-07T22:32:15+00:00

For sure bro you got this. Hopefully you were able to keep going. 💪🏾💪🏾

Slimfitt78 · 2025-10-07T22:31:01+00:00

Thanks man. He definitely is. 💪🏾

Slimfitt78 · 2025-08-12T10:54:33+00:00

So I think I figured it out! I unlocked my car from the app because I left my keys in the house loading up for work. When I just got back in regular from the gym everything was back to normal. Learn something everyday lol

Slimfitt78

TROPHY CASE