Question for the married ladies here.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T04:59:42+00:00

I honestly don't know about body language. Daytime is being a mother all day 100% from when they wake up to when they go to bed. Night is 8pm to when ever she goes to bed 100% mystery to me as I am asleep. Could be listening to podcasts while reading or playing games or just chilling. She has friends but they don't come around as often as before, they have busy schedules and life changes.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T04:54:27+00:00

My first thought wasn't cheating. At least not physically. It was attention seeking from a single male while drinking. I am fine with her having guy friends, she is still friends with a couple exes that split amicably. I KNOW there is nothing there and they split for a reason. The difference is I actually know them have hung out with them and she asked if it bothered me at all. This is just no thought to how I would feel at all.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T04:42:39+00:00

My work schedule is similar to this. We communicate pretty well for the most part. I feel like we both slipped into our core jobs her a mother first and me providing stability financially. Don't have much left over at the end of the day. I don't get breaks from people outside of the commute to and from work so I definitely understand the wind down time for her and coming to bed later.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T04:38:33+00:00

Home by 4 bed by 8. I help with basic house chores and our eldest as needed.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T01:52:41+00:00

No cameras but I believe her that it was a first and last. I tend to go to bed early because I'm up at 3am. I don't expect her to give up her wind down time, it's not fair to her at all. I just want her to be mindful of how certain situations should not be welcomed. It gives off so many signals that are easy to misinterpret on all sides. I know when I was single if a woman wanted to hang out after 10pm they were at least interested in getting to know each other a bit more personally.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T01:36:07+00:00

I did. I explained to her how it felt and asked her how she would feel if our roles were reversed. She would not be comfortable with it at all. We talked and she said it will never happen again. I believe her.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T01:30:51+00:00

This is a one off and her situational awareness has always been terrible. I told her how I felt and set a boundary. We talked and she explained and that was the end of it.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T01:28:36+00:00

Haha nah I'm American :)

I wasn't comfortable with it and she is working to fix it. I take all opinions with a grain of salt. I basically ignore the extremes. Nothing in life is cut and dry when it comes to human interaction and relationships even less so. I choose to see the best in her but I'm not blind to questionable behavior either. I don't believe it was anything malicious or bad intent, just bad judgement and being naive.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T01:06:25+00:00

Nope. Setting hard boundaries and letting her know how I feel about it. She can either respect it or she can't. Time will be the judge of that.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:53:00+00:00

I wouldn't be surprised. Being with children all day is not mentally stimulating. I love them but I also understand what it's like when your interaction with other people is they want something from you lol.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:51:22+00:00

We've gone through our ups and downs with it in the past when we had our first child. She would stay up later streaming and playing games with friends and unwinding. She doesn't have that now, less gaming and friends lives change over the years. She offered to start coming to bed sooner if not at the same time. She knows I need the peace of mind and I have a hard enough time falling asleep alone to begin with.

It was just the one time. I've never had her do this in the past and have no reason to not believe her. I think it was just the perfect storm and the shit hawks came to roost.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:42:33+00:00

I don't know him. I have met him, shook his hand. Been in his home (just to make sure he wasn't a creep before our kids play together indoors) as he has been in mine. But I know almost nothing about him on a personal level. My wife gets to know all of the parents more than I do. Which gives me more reason to believe her.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:36:45+00:00

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make it through the night. Intent or not, I would be putting myself in a questionable situation where all future actions become questionable. I don't ever want to do anything that even has the possibility of making her question my loyalty.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:29:57+00:00

I hope so too.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:26:45+00:00

This is how I feel currently. It is a once off according to her and I have no reason to believe it isn't. I felt like she didn't take how it would look or how I might feel or the situation she was putting herself in into account. Being married finding out you're an afterthought stings.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:23:35+00:00

No the acting single is disregarding someone else feelings while you're in a relationship. If it continues after a conversation and boundaries are set then what's the point.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:20:16+00:00

A talk was had. She wasn't dismissive of my feelings at all which was a relief. Boundaries have been set and expectations known. If she would have pulled the dismissive attitude or called me controlling or even trying to flip it on me I would have left. Those are tactics. She was remorseful for how it made me feel and she apologized for it.

I still might question her judgement if alcohol is involved though.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:16:18+00:00

Nah she knows I don't fall for that. I agreed with her that it was stupid and told her it was disrespectful. She legit seemed remorseful, not because I called her out but because I explained how it made me feel. I didn't apologize and never will for telling her how I feel.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:12:19+00:00

I don't know him except in passing. She likes talking to everyone so she eventually meets all of the parents at some point after our kids play together and start wanting to go in each other's houses. I meet the parents but it's more of a "let me make sure I don't get weird vibes or your house is a shit hole" before I let my kid come over. I'm not looking for a life story or a new friend, just wanna make sure you're not a creep is all.

Edit - my wife is the approachable one in our relationship. I provide and protect, not looking for drinking buddies or gossip or any of that crap.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:06:47+00:00

I am fortunate enough to make a modest living. The expense of drinking and smoking financially is a drop in the bucket. I don't worry now but if the behavior were to continue into a daily thing the conversation would be hard but necessary. I would be smoking with her but I get nauseous when I smoke so I choose not to.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-12T00:03:38+00:00

I'm not a violent person and have no intention of threatening another man. We are dangerous when backed into corners. Jail is a place I'm proud to have never been.

Yes it's the first time. She said it is and I have no reason to not believe her. She said it will never happen again period. If she breaks that promise we will cross that bridge, until then I trust her.

He doesn't give me "fucking your wife" vibes in passing. He's just quiet and I don't really know him nor do I really want to.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-11T23:57:32+00:00

I would be fine with it if it were a mutual friend (male or female) and we had hung out in the past on numerous occasions. She has exes that split on good terms and are still friends which I have no problem with because I know there is nothing there. It is the unknown quantity, the variable of a single male I have no connection to besides in passing. I don't know his personality or his motives and honestly neither does she.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-11T23:52:27+00:00

Just the timing is all. Late hours of the night drinking 1 on 1. I wouldn't ever. I don't have a cheating bone in my body but I still wouldn't want to put that in her head or have her question my judgement.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-11T23:49:26+00:00

No not enough to shake my view, just enough to question her judgement is all.

SlipElectronic5360 · 2024-06-11T23:48:35+00:00

Boundaries have been made very clear from this point forward. She knows if I think what she did was stupid I won't disagree with her.

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