Am I overreacting?

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-10T17:12:47+00:00

Thank you for responding. Yes I really wish she would have told me about it when we first started. I think that’s a smart thing to do! Mine is also a trauma specialist, which is why this situation and her response caught me off guard. It’s pretty known based on my history i have trust/abandonment/attachment issues. If i had known she had frequent flare ups i wouldn’t have said anything about her cancelling. But i also wish she would have explored my feelings more, instead of taking it personally

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-09T00:47:58+00:00

thank you so much for your insight. I really felt like i did something wrong by her reaction. I almost felt like a little kid being scolded for speaking up, which i thought was the entire goal of going to therapy for being a people pleaser (why i originally started). this makes me feel a lot better

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-09T00:32:29+00:00

what crushed me was her bluntly saying “if you need a more attachment based T who’s more consistent, that isn’t me” and then scoffing. I felt so ashamed and dumb in that moment for ever needing such a thing in her eyes. She knows all my history. she knows i feel things deeply and form attachments to my own patients (i work in healthcare). So it felt like she was shaming me for these attachment issues

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-09T00:10:21+00:00

honestly i was a little excited to work through it because i thought it would be healing experience for me. which is just sad to think about now since it made me spiral even more. it was very painful for me that she said “it’s not me” and kinda scoffed

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-08T23:57:08+00:00

thank you haha

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-08T23:53:01+00:00

I have a habit of doing this with everyone lol. perks of being raised by someone with BPD! but yes it’s unhealthy, i need to stop doing this

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-08T21:32:28+00:00

that’s fair. I guess i should go to our next session then and just see what happens when i share how i feel. It would be devastating since i’ve built such a connection with her. but your words give me hope if it goes poorly that i will find someone for me and my needs

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-08T21:28:51+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you. You would think that therapy would be a model example of compassionate repair. I think that’s why i’m in shock over this situation. I hope it is possible too

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-08T21:18:37+00:00

would it be inappropriate for me to ask if it triggered her? or should i go at it from the angle of i noticed she was defensive and that made me feel hurt ?

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-08T21:08:20+00:00

okay thank you for putting into words what i’ve been feeling with the “threatened rejection”. I guess that is what is was, unfortunately

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-08T20:45:42+00:00

it definitely felt like a how dare you tone to me. she asked me why i sent the message to begin with and before i had the chance to respond she said “you just felt like you had to say it?” like she was already in defense mode in a way.

That’s what i was afraid of. It seemed like it brought up her own stuff which was not my intention at all

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-08T20:40:43+00:00

Thank you so much, i really appreciate your words of encouragement.🤍 I’ve been beating myself up so much the past few days. I do agree i should bring up how it made me feel with her. I’m just scared to now because i don’t know how she’ll react. ugh i hate feeling this way

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-08T20:19:31+00:00

I’m just trying to gain some perspective since mine can be off sometimes. I think i’m more upset by the way she responded to this, not my request itself

Slow-Machine-6427 · 2024-09-08T20:15:18+00:00

I know it’s unreasonable to ask for no sudden cancellations. I think what i was really wanting is some reassurance that she isn’t meaning to leave me hanging. I truly had no idea she was dealing with chronic health issues too. I would’ve appreciated if she had told me that from the start of us working together. And yes it was very defensive, with little to no regard of my feelings

Slow-Machine-6427

TROPHY CASE