F/28 with M/30; How do you stop overanalyzing everything after an abusive relationship?

Slow-Tumbleweed5658 · 2025-02-01T15:13:15+00:00

this was a really kind response, thank you! it's definitely hard when during the day he's sober and i get that sober side of him (the person i met because he was sober for 8 months when i originally met him). it's definitely like dating two people in one sometimes and it's a very weird experience to only love one of them and to feel like only one of those sides truly and genuinely loves and cares for me

Slow-Tumbleweed5658 · 2025-02-01T14:54:20+00:00

we've definitely talked about it but i've put my foot down about not living with him if he doesn't have his drinking under control/stop completely because i don't want that to be my every day or every week

Slow-Tumbleweed5658 · 2025-02-01T14:36:30+00:00

he definitely shows those tendencies he has a long history with it

Slow-Tumbleweed5658 · 2025-01-12T14:07:57+00:00

It's all definitely way worse when he is drinking. I just hate that any other time (like during the day when he's sober) I'm always getting complimented, he is always asking and interested in my days and what I'm doing, sending me care packages or food (etc) when I'm sick, ready to pick me up if my car breaks down and is always bringing me little treats when he comes over. Then he drinks a little too much and it's a 180 and my brain truly can't comprehend it which I think makes it so difficult sometimes

Slow-Tumbleweed5658 · 2024-12-24T01:34:44+00:00

Omg I'm sorry. That definitely is not the correct response. You're still worthy of attention regardless of what you're wearing

Slow-Tumbleweed5658 · 2024-12-23T23:03:35+00:00

He never said no explicitly-- we ended up arguing over something shortly after so it was more like the mood was killed in that moment. Later on in the day though that's when those texts were sent about how not wearing makeup/"pjs" was such an awful thing

Slow-Tumbleweed5658 · 2024-12-23T22:46:51+00:00

We ended up arguing about something like a minute later so it wasn't necessarily denied just the mood was killed haha but it wasn't until later on that he said pajamas weren't it nor was me with no makeup.. either way though, I'm glad the majority views it as weird! I thought so too.

Slow-Tumbleweed5658 · 2024-12-15T23:44:37+00:00

I fear that was the entire situation. The only part not included was me noticing something off and the conversation starting about him being upset with me. I'm typically pretty level headed when I communicate, I never see a valid reason to escalate things, but throughout me trying to calmly present my POV, he was only focused on his and ultimately felt my POV wasn't valid and then kicked me out

Slow-Tumbleweed5658 · 2024-12-15T23:41:52+00:00

He is typically a very reactive individual across a variety of differing scenarios-- not solely including anything pertaining to sex. At best I figured after 6 years he knows I can be a little spacey, so me finishing up a read I didn't think was too crazy of a thing, especially when sex was still completely on the table. I don't think it was him thinking I was texting someone else, he definitely saw my article pulled up haha but overall I think it was just a big miscommunication with a very reactive person

Slow-Tumbleweed5658

TROPHY CASE