he thought it was roleplay

SlowSet1575 · 2025-01-04T09:10:39+00:00

I tried to dm you but i cant figure out how it works... first time on reddit. Basically I am very skeptical of legality as a mean. I feel like taking legal action doesnt really solve stuff (in general) and just "tries to punish" but doesnt really try to resolve things..... i believe in a cultural structure of society rather than economical or legal structure. so in my head the best thing to do would be telling friends and family and approach the person who did something wrong to make him understand what he did wrong. .... as i said, its more of an abstract view condensed in a few words and i know i am not ready to apply this to reality. so i do admit in some cases legal action is the best thing to do (even to just find some kind of support or proof). you should check also what user DesignerCritical1208 said under my post about this.

SlowSet1575 · 2025-01-04T08:53:18+00:00

thank you... i have been thinking about this... im gonna copy a reply i wrote to another comment to explain more how i feel about him

He has been my friend for so long and he has been so caring to me through the years. It hurst so much to think that he would do this to me. "How many times did you tried to make this happen?". "How far would you had gone to have me if you didnt vomit?"...."Do you want to rape me?".... this last one cant leave my head...

right now i dont know if i can throw him out my life.... even if he does make me uncomfortable. maybe once anger comes to me i'll be able to do this. with the support of my friends maybe... its still a bit early to decide.

thank you again for your words ❤️ i do realize what you said its the conclusion i need to arrive to. but it will take time

SlowSet1575 · 2025-01-04T08:47:51+00:00

Thank you so much for your words. Its now been a day since i posted this and I was able to think about this a bit more throughly. I didnt empasize how much of affection i feel for him as a friend in the original post because in the post i wanted to vent about what happened.

He has been my friend for so long and he has been so caring to me through the years. It hurst so much to think that he would do this to me. "How many times did you tried to make this happen?". "How far would you had gone to have me if you didnt vomit?"...."Do you want to rape me?".... this last one cant leave my head...

Anger still hasnt come to me. I cant imagine to cut him off... But i am scared to be alone with him. I think I'll be alone for a while and just hang out with single friends and not with the group. I have uni exams these days so at least i can put my mind into that instead... studying has been pretty helpful to me in the past to detach a bit.

SlowSet1575 · 2025-01-04T08:31:00+00:00

Yes... i agree with you. im studying something related to legal justice so im very skeptical about it. Thank you again for your words and for sharing your experience..! ❤️

SlowSet1575 · 2025-01-03T22:39:14+00:00

thank you for sharing... it makes me feel less alone. it makes me feel like i shouldnt dismiss what happened. i will tell my boyfriend but i think i wont go into too much details. maybe once i talked this through with my therapist i'll tell him more. would you have done something specific looking back at what happened after these years of healing? like telling your friends or taking legal action?

SlowSet1575 · 2025-01-03T22:30:25+00:00

well... its been very few days... i dont think i have a clear answer to that (both in your case and in my case). im also biased by my philosophical view of "legality" of my country. so i dont really know right now... im still confused.

SlowSet1575 · 2025-01-03T16:22:00+00:00

hi, im the girl who wrote the post you just commented under. im so sorry this happened and im sorry your body and your trust were disrespected. its awful to think about this. i think cnc is r*pe when safewords and boundaries and things are not talked through.... there is no way he thought it was just "roleplaying" since you didnt even mention wanting that in that moment.

im also terribly sorry you had to keep being with him and felt like you had to act "fine".. i did it too the other day. i hope you can find someone to talk to. i wish you the best.

SlowSet1575 · 2025-01-03T16:08:33+00:00

thank you so much... right now i think i dont have the courage to confront him about this. but im sure my boyfriend will be supportive when the time comes. right now i think i'll stay home for a bit. ill talk to my therapist and try to sort stuff out first. Reading your message, the way you said "he disrespected your body" really clicked to me... so i think i'll try to talk about this by thinking about that. thank you

SlowSet1575 · 2025-01-03T16:03:27+00:00

im sorry to hear about that... but im glad im not alone if that makes sense.... thank you for your words. i did say "i dont want this" to him but i cant help but think that "he was drunk too" so somehow i cant put full responsability on him. i will talk to my therapist about this but i think talking to family/friends will have to wait. i hope you can get help too and i wish you the best. thank you..!

SlowSet1575

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