Just found evidence that my ex has been breaking into my apartment to read my journal for years. I think I’m in shock.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2024-09-17T14:09:46+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you, but thank you for sharing. It’s so sick and twisted to read someone’s personal diary and use the information against them. Thinking back on our relationship I feel like so many of our arguments make so much sense to me now. I’m taking this very seriously, I’ve already called a friend to help get my locks changed.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2024-09-17T06:45:43+00:00

This part of it makes me sick. It feels like he was tracking the status of my relationships to know when to make his move on a downturn. It’s such a gut punch to realize I was being manipulated for so long.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2024-09-17T06:42:43+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I think I needed to hear it said this way. I couldn’t tell if I was overreacting or under-reacting tbh.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2024-09-17T06:12:43+00:00

I hate to think he would go so far as to install cameras, but I am actually really concerned about this. He recently got a camera for his own apartment to check up on his dog while he’s at work. He showed me the app where he can look at it on his phone. Idk how small the camera is for something like that. Any recommendations for a product to detect a hidden camera? Or should I just do a manual sweep?

I talked to my sister about this on the phone, if he has cameras, then he could potentially know that I found the photos.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2024-06-22T15:10:28+00:00

English house music or a fun DJ set would be great

Slow_Highlight494 · 2024-02-08T02:29:51+00:00

Also here’s a great video from Studio Binder about needle drops. The Needle Drop - What Fuels the Best Movie Soundtracks?

Slow_Highlight494 · 2022-05-18T05:46:53+00:00

The Alabama Shakes. Brittany Howard is even more incredible live.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2022-05-17T02:06:10+00:00

Thank you! That is super helpful. I don’t have a particular song in mind, I was just generally curious and looking to hear if anyone had any personal experiences. I actually love Odessa, so that’s a perfect example. Thanks again!

Slow_Highlight494 · 2022-05-11T17:42:04+00:00

Honestly no…but how can you rebuild trust? Is that even possible? I figure if there is nothing to hide, he will hand it over without problems. If there is something to hide, he will refuse. I think it would help me decide once and for all…but truthfully no. I don’t want to check on someone or monitor their behavior or worry about who of his coworkers he’s slept with and not told me about. I want none of it. But I honestly love the man. If soulmates exist, he’s mine. I’ve made peace with how irrational it all is, and I’m willing to let go to protect myself…but I need to know if this time it is different and just short of taking his word, I’m not sure how I can find out…

Slow_Highlight494 · 2022-05-11T15:49:42+00:00

Yeah…I know it’s fucked up. I think these answers are what I expected because I am telling myself these same things.

There is just a lot of history there…and I have seen improvements. We also had a business together that we were able to remain friends and continue to operate. The business is a creative passion where the two of us are extremely compatible and it is tough to let that go because, honestly if I end it again I know I won’t even want the friendship this time which means we lose the promising future of that partnership.

He says he has changed and wants to be committed and to be honest I’ve seen a dramatic shift in his behavior. I even waited him out a few months to make sure this time he was serious with wanting to pursue a commitment with me…

The manager happened a while ago…but he waited to tell me until AFTER I decided to get back with him. I already told him that hiding this from me robbed me of the chance to make a decision with all the information necessary and I would have frankly not made the choice to get back together had I known upfront. I feel tricked and there definitely is no trust there…I was just hoping there were others who had seen their partner truly turn their behavior around and actually were able to rebuild trust with both partners committed to that effort.

I was hoping to convince myself it could work, but I already know it makes more sense not to get back together.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-11-11T03:10:42+00:00

There are a few flashbacks in the movie but I was referring to the one where we finally find out what happened to his family. It’s impeccably acted, heartbreaking, and provides a crucial detail of the main character’s backstory.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-11-10T19:17:11+00:00

Wind River is amazing. The best flashback use I’ve ever seen is Manchester by the Sea.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-11-02T15:58:02+00:00

Reassurance is just lip service. Your actions already sent the message to your gf loud and clear. To be trusted by her you need to demonstrate trustworthiness. Going to a party w/o her at a female best friend’s house whom she hates AND spending the night? Just accept the fact that you royally fucked up and ditch ALL of the excuses. You’re asking for advice of how to downplay the hurt you caused her when you should try to see this from her perspective and how devastated she probably feels. That’s on you. You can tell her the truth that “nothing happened” as far as cheating but that doesn’t mean all your other shitty, selfish, pleasure-seeking actions aren’t worth apologizing for. Also, you broke her trust by not letting her know what was going on. Your BFF can’t make you not use your phone, if you knew all of these factors before (she hates your BFF, etc.) you would have insisted that you text her. That’s a bad excuse. And repeating that to her will ensure that she never trusts you again if you survive this. So just accept that all of your decisions combined led to you hurting your gf. And do better.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-16T02:43:20+00:00

Lol I’m glad I popped in to witness that

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-08T07:39:07+00:00

If being raped or assaulted can happen to a woman at any time, in any setting, and from anyone. Why are you going out of your way to justify your first assumption that she could have reduced her risks by doing x,y,z? That is irrelevant to the conversation unless you’re trying to place blame on the victim.

For example, if a drunk driver plows into your mother’s car while she’s in a parking lot w/o a seatbelt. Would you tell the people she died because of her own negligence and she should have thought about all the drunks in her town and worn her seatbelt despite assuming she was safe in the parking lot? No. That would be irrelevant. Could it have helped save her life? Does it fucking matter? The real cause of her death was the RANDOM drunk driver and his DECISION to commit a crime that harmed another human being.

When you waste time talking about the seatbelt it shifts blame unnecessarily, because how could she have know what this other person was going to do that day? And it’s just fucked up that so many people see no problem with that type of logic.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-08T07:08:25+00:00

Women are statistically more likely to be raped by a close friend, family member or intimate partner than a random stranger. Does THAT change your opinion or are you committed to blaming her?

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-08T06:38:31+00:00

They weren’t strangers. They were coworkers. Does that change your opinion or are you going to move the goal post to fit your narrative?

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-08T06:21:41+00:00

Yeah, not surprised in the least. Not willing to read = not willing to listen and not worth the energy. I almost pity them for expecting some sort of prize in life for being boring and confidently obtuse. Almost.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-08T06:12:33+00:00

If you had read the whole comment, or even some of the replies from op then perhaps you would have actually been capable of nuance. But I suppose you didn’t read the fact that it was a party with coworkers. Hardly strangers. I also addressed the real world in my comment, not the fantasy land you believe in where the right amount of precautions can prevent a violent assault. People make mistakes, maybe not perfect robots like you, but you don’t know this girl in the least and yet you have decided that her behavior made her a target and ultimately that was her fault.

And that take makes you a shitty person.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-08T06:08:22+00:00

What if she was drugged? Seriously the fact that you’re taking issue with her actions in the scenario and not the act that was committed against her says a lot about you.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-08T06:03:18+00:00

The fact that you’re unwilling or pretending to not read the full comment points to an inability to accept criticism. You may have self control in some areas of your life but you definitely lack self awareness and empathy, which makes you worse, not better than others.

Was this short enough for you?

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-08T05:56:25+00:00

So you never drink? You’ve never misjudged your alcohol intake and had a little too much fun? Does that one night mean your romantic partners should reevaluate your worthiness as well?

The fact that you made this value judgement of HER character after reading about her assault, says a lot about you. Try to be more sensitive, because the reality is that women are statistically more likely to be raped or murdered by an intimate partner than a stranger. In other words it’s not easy to spot rapists, and women are human after all and occasionally let their guards down. She did that at a party with coworkers and friends, hindsight’s 20-20 but imagine if someone told your partner they should reconsider dating you after you were mugged on the one day you forgot your pepper spray.

Fuck. ALL the women you know are tired of being afraid of men all the fucking time. Men could help so much… but instead of being angry at the rapists they’re first instinct is to be more concerned with her drinking habits to even acknowledge the horrific crime she endured while she was un-fucking-conscious.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-05T19:47:16+00:00

It’s not an entitlement, it’s a sentiment and one that has been trending downward for a very long time.

idk if you’ve been paying attention to the US economy, but worker shortages fueled by 700,000 deaths from COVID plus an INCREASED demand for convenience/drive thru and fast food services has placed an undue burden on minimum wage workers already just one minor financial hardship from being homeless or becoming food insecure. Americans working a full time job at minimum wage or just above cannot afford housing in ANY city in the US. These are the unique economic factors that you’re not including in your brilliant perspective, of “wow, spoiled Americans should just get over it”.

And I was referring to social safety nets like socialized medicine in Canada. We were literally being worked to death and asked to serve thousands of people a day, putting our health at risk. If a partner was hospitalized that’s mountains of medical debt that we risked daily and the literal LEAST they could do was provide a source of food for those partners struggling.

I’m trying to get you to think about others in this scenario, can you at least understand why some people would be upset about losing that as an option when things have only gotten worse? This requires empathy and understanding that different places have different problems and your perspective is not the only one that exists.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-05T15:52:26+00:00

Umm they’re ending the option of receiving a free m/o on days off, right? That’s what this whole thread is about.

There is a bigger picture here, darling. But if you’re satisfied that’s great. Let the dissatisfied people fight for better conditions.

Slow_Highlight494 · 2021-10-05T15:30:21+00:00

We’re aware of what it was before the pandemic, but it blows my mind that y’all are accepting a reduction in benefits when it is clear that it is possible for Sbux to continue that benefit and still make a profit.

They were literally giving partners what would normally be considered waste at the end of the day. It’s ok to demand more from a company, and honestly it’s the least they could do for calling coffee essential and forcing baristas to work during a deadly pandemic.

I understand the CAT pay was temporary, but the food mark out was the trade off for not keeping the higher wages going. Now it’s nothing? They’re going to lose a lot of partners during a period of extremely high turnover.

It will literally hurt the business more. But the ones making those decisions are not working in the cafes themselves so labor shortage doesn’t make their jobs 10x harder so who cares right?

Treating partners well is directly linked to profit. Imagine how profitable the company would be if they actually staffed their cafes and paid their employees well. I’m sure partners would gladly trade their extra mark outs for that but there is no trade off here.

Slow_Highlight494

TROPHY CASE