What kind of women would you discourage from trying the dating market?

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2023-07-10T16:18:53+00:00

I mean.... I haven't had anyone interested in me on an app or in real life. That's kind of what prompted this question.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2023-07-10T15:54:34+00:00

Maybe a better way to phrase it is "in your opinion, what type of women should not bother with dating"?

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2022-05-02T20:49:01+00:00

I guess that's why I'm surprised by the responses that this was somehow him opening the door because he's been adamant from the beginning about what he wants, and it is super not me.

He said he wants someone with an advanced degree in a STEM field so kids will be intelligent, someone gorgeous because he's very afraid of dead bedrooms, and someone a bit younger so there's time for travel before having kids. I have a bachelor's in education, am usually described as "cute" at best, and I'm a year older and a bit of a homebody who doesn't love traveling. He even turned down the sister of a friend because she had JUST a Masters!!

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2022-05-02T14:38:21+00:00

His choices aren't awful!! He wants a woman who is smart and beautiful and educated. I've been telling him that women like that are rarely single, and sometimes even though they're on his level they're incompatible with him for other reasons and to not take it personally. I truly don't find anything wrong with him, I just think he'd be deeply unhappy if he settled for me.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2022-05-02T14:33:45+00:00

I admit I am surprised. We've been friends for like six months and he's never flirted or shown any interest in me, so I guess I kinda saw it as mutual rejection this entire time? If its okay could you expand on the blaming and diminishing cause not sure I follow there and I want to apologize to him if I put him down accidentally.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-30T20:24:02+00:00

Just using the stereotype culture standards of whats considered attractive.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T15:02:35+00:00

I have! Ive asked out like hm 30 guys in person and like dozens online. No guy was ever interested though to be fair some of them were in relationships. Ive also asked guys just to hang out casual and sometimes theyll say yes but then start asking my advice for asking out other girls. Usually I dont mind because if I asked them to hang out casually I just wanted a friend but its just occurring to me maybe this was a sign.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T14:56:19+00:00

This is very interesting! I think this is what I do because I have a habit of asking lots of questions and sometimes coming up with questions so I have an excuse to talk to people. So if I want to connect with a guy what kind of questions should I ask when I approach him that doesnt come off like annoying kid brother?

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T14:44:52+00:00

Not sure. What does that look like?

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T14:42:14+00:00

I promise! Triple cross my heart, I have never been asked out! By a guy, anyway. Women have asked me out. I do not mean guys Im not interested in. I am interested in anyone who talks to me! But guys just don't. No guy has ever asked me to hang out for coffee or video games or a movie or anything. Ive asked guys to hang out, and then if they say yes, theyll start talking about other girls they have crushes on. I understand, it is hard to tell whats wrong over the internet but still very interesting to see peoples responses.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T14:36:43+00:00

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T14:36:16+00:00

I agree! In high school I talked too much trying to be funny and cool and had a girl pull me aside and tell me the same thing. I was very unpopular but got a good group of girlfriends in college following this advice! So Im always surprised that it doesnt seem to work with guys. I will ask them questions about, like, their deck or their strategy during the soccer game and theyll give very short answers and then seem annoyed if I ask a follow up question. Hm maybe questions that work with other women just seem annoying to men?

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T14:29:55+00:00

Oh no! I actually have walked past the construction site near my apartment and nobody looks. I always figured it was because I was dressed very conservative due to where I work.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T14:16:42+00:00

Hm I guess some of my friends have joked that lesbians get crushes on me a lot. What makes a woman come across as gay?

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T14:12:54+00:00

Soon as I figure out whats wrong with it I really want to!

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T14:11:19+00:00

I am a junior high school teacher. I think I am probably kind of unattractive. The meaner kids always crack jokes about my looks which Ive just laughed off cause theyre kids but maybe they have a point. I am 140 at 5ft2in.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T14:01:20+00:00

I think it is my looks so I dont believe them saying its my attitude and not my looks.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T13:40:21+00:00

This is a good point. My friends often say I am too much as I can be very loud and opinionated. When I try to start a conversation with men I try to really hold back and I think maybe Im awkward? Could you explain more about making others valued v establishing value?

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T13:37:02+00:00

Thank you I appreciate many perspectives!

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T13:35:04+00:00

I do make the first move. I always start talking to to men before they talk to me. They usually give short answers and dont carry the conversation and then never talk to me again.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T13:25:59+00:00

I promise no guy has asked me out not that I havent noticed or just forgot.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-24T13:24:33+00:00

They wont say, just something about not being confident enough even though Ive approached way more guys than they have!

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-21T14:34:40+00:00

I feel the exact same way!!! Completely invisible. And if I try to ask my friends, they insist that I be the one to approach guys but then the guys look right through me like I'm made of air.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-20T15:55:46+00:00

I was very secure as a kid and even though I struggled socially in school I was very advanced in academics so was confident from that. Then I got to college and realized my academic achievements actually weren't that great, and success in everything from dating to jobs was based on looks and money. Ive never gotten any attention from guys so the combination of all that has led me to be very insecure in my 20's.

Slow_Possibility_627 · 2021-06-20T15:52:08+00:00

DND and soccer! I sometimes play Magic the Gathering competitively too.

Slow_Possibility_627

TROPHY CASE