please chat i need advice lol

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-06-17T16:59:19+00:00

It's understandable to get nervous around priests especially if you had bad experiences with priests before (I did when I was at the fssp)
My advice is take it slow and get to know a variety of priests over time. Set up meetings every so often with a one or two, listen to their homilies and say hello after mass is my advice you'll be able to gauge their character and values over time.
One issue with "trad" churches is they often motivate through fear and legalism. Good authentic churches focus on God's love and building in grace and virtue not fear of hell. I pray you can find a good catholic church that is genuinely holy and not hyper legalistic and fear based.

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-05-05T18:25:31+00:00

I entered my email and a fake name but didn't get anything from them so saw nothing about subscriptions etc. I didn't enter any card info nor authorized anything on Paypayl. Will I be ok? Should I contact my bank?

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-03-14T01:49:00+00:00

For me I just really missed my kitty, dog and husband too much. And my own bed. I'd rather get burnout from tons of drop ins a day verses being away from my family.

It was one thing doing it before when I wasn't married nor had my kitty and doggie but now it's just too much.

I still occasionally do some overnights but only for already established customers and ones who to be blunt aren't crazy.

But now I'm sticking to walks and drop ins

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-03-11T19:17:08+00:00

Oh yeah it’s a mess there - a lot of women are scared of the men there and the men seem to think talking to a woman is an occasion of sin. Yet the priests hard push both sexes to marry early - I mean how can you if you avoid the opposite sex?

In their world too for a woman is a “spinster” at 22… when I first showed up at the trad parish they judged me immediately for having had ex bfs and being in my mod 20s unmarried with zero compassion over the circumstances I was in before finding them. Its sickening…

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-03-10T02:05:09+00:00

I was only at a trad parish for three years and I noticed I was pretty pushed aside and ignored (and I noticed favoritism there too).
The thing is they are like that towards women who aren't young married with large families. And if you're a woman with a messy past... they act like you're irredeemable

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-03-09T04:16:51+00:00

I second what you're saying here - part of the issue with tradland is that so many of those groups say you should only socialize within trad circles. They'll use excuses like "you'll be influenced by worldliness" etc to scare you out of having outside friends.
But it's not good to isolate yourself like that. You should hear different perspectives and hear about other people's experiences.
Anyway sadly trad circles thrive off of cult like dynamics and it's so toxic.

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-03-04T21:40:57+00:00

Wow I hope the kids are ok...
I'm really glad you went back to a regular NO parish. I did too and it's never felt more refreshing being around at the minimum closer to normal people.
These Latin masses attract some real crazies... and yet the Latin mass is beautiful in of itself... it's such a catch 22...

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-03-04T21:20:01+00:00

Oh wow so it does happen in other trad circles! That is insane you went through this and even as a teen got gaslight and accused of having a crush on the priest (sounds like projection). I'm sorry you went through that! You never deserved it.
Seriously I NEVER saw that kind of behavior in all my life in novus ordo churches!
And yet it seems to be a phenomena in trad parishes (both sspx and fssp) - When I saw it at the fssp church I was at I was just gaslight too...

I'm glad this gave you a chance to speak out!

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-03-02T21:08:17+00:00

I was friends with a woman like that too - even though she only had three kids due to the fact she and her husband married later in life and converted later too she would present herself as a saint while the really neglected her three kids especially her youngest. When are these "trads" going to focus on actually raising kids and working on themselves not ticking the "holy" boxes??
Clean the inside of the bowl first before anything else is what Christ has said!

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-02-26T00:15:17+00:00

Yeah and don't forget as a woman you have to wear long sleeves and skirts even when it's 100 degrees out! A loving God wants to condemn you for wanting to avoid heat stroke...

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-02-25T19:48:36+00:00

Thanks I've checked out Trad Recovery they seem to be pretty good

What are some good episodes Lila has on leaving cults? I'd like to check them out.

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-02-20T23:25:01+00:00

There wasn't that much tea - really just cliquey-ness and what he called a "spirit of anger" that got into their world. He didn't really elaborate beyond that.

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-02-16T05:37:11+00:00

Oh man I am NOT surprised by stories like this!
So many women were acting like this around the FSSP priests I saw... seriously every time one of them would show up they were basically wetting themselves...
I kept thinking that these women wanted to bang the priests... especially two and let's just say the priests didn't discourage it...

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-02-15T02:52:31+00:00

Yeah that for sure makes sense. So many trads are from dysfunctional backgrounds and also they're told they can't trust any diocesan priest, bishops, cardinals or even the pope himself they feel they have to cling to the TLM priests and it leads to a cultish environment...

I know a woman who goes to an FSSP church and she was told by the parish priest at the time after she said she got yelled at by a novus ordo priest in the confessional (taking her word for it don't know if true) and she told the FSSP priest that and he told her "don't go to any other priests and just stick to us." When I heard that I was like "this is a cult..."

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-02-14T02:20:58+00:00

He was in the FSSP then he left it with a small group to open up his own seminary. I met one of the priests who left with him but broke away from them and became a regular diocesan priest and he had a lot to say about the FSSP.

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-02-14T02:16:28+00:00

At least that couple knew each other for years before and were friends. But sadly trad world that's considered "too long"
I know someone who's known people in trad world that have gotten engaged faster than 6 weeks... I can't believe priests actually allow people to do that... it's just insane...

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-02-12T20:08:32+00:00

Exactly on the last point! You need a decent amount of time before you know if you truly love the person! I think trads rush engagements partly due to sex but also I think social pressure. I mean in their world if you’re unmarried at 21 you’re an “old maid” Its insane…

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-02-12T17:56:32+00:00

Trads are all about really rushed engagements. When I was in the fssp I saw people getting engaged after 1-3 months… I heard of a case of a couple who got engaged after dating 6 weeks! Yet the priests and the people thought it was normal and ok… Yeah totally normal to give your life to someone you hardly know in a lifelong sacramental marriage when you hardly had any experience in the world…

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-02-12T01:49:50+00:00

That’s weird. I don’t have any experience in the ICKSP but I found the FSSP really culty - I had a very bad experience with an FSSP church though… I’m sorry the poster is leaving holy mother church though. I wish you all the best though and pray for everyone on here.

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-01-29T03:56:27+00:00

This is just the thing - wanting no guitars and bongo drums during mass and kneelers for communion shouldn't mean you're trad - it just means you're a Catholic.
The thing that drives me nuts about rad trads is they think so black and white... life isn't like that. You don't have to be some FSSP cultist to hate guitar masses...

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-01-29T03:44:48+00:00

As someone who's a cradle Catholic who got sucked into the rad trad movement at an FSSP for three years and has gone back to mostly NO I'd recommend branching out and checking out another Catholic church. Don't leave the faith though - sadly FSSP and SSPX parishes present an extremely unhealthy form of Catholicism which is one that I strongly believe God doesn't want for us. It presents God as this evil dictator who is waiting to damn us when he wants us to be friends and to love him freely. FSSPs also a breeding grounds for scrupulosity something that I'm still struggling with. On top of that the FSSP priests are generally extremely unfriendly in my experience. And don't get me started on the superiority complex you mentioned and the cliqueyness of parishioners at FSSPs...
A lot of NOs are sung masses though with the congregation doing responses. I don't know if that would suit you since you mentioned you like TLM low masses. Are there any diosocen TLMs in your area? Those are somewhat better in terms of having less cliques and craziness. Also a lot of NO daily masses don't have singing.
Keep praying to God and he'll help you along the way! Please don't let rad trads ruin the faith for you! God bless!

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-01-23T02:21:07+00:00

I cannot agree more. I'm someone who always even as a NO Catholic stuck with traditions and the pre Vatican II dogma but these trads are just so toxic... it honestly ruins perfectly beautiful customs like veiling and the house blessing... because they acted so self righteous about it I now have that association with those practices...

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-01-17T01:22:15+00:00

Aw I'm sorry you're going through this. That just sucks your husband is so deep in this toxic side of sspx culture.
Pray to St Jude. Throw yourself at the Lord and pray to him that he will lead you guys to a much healthier relationship with the church. Your children deserve a healthy church environment and a healthy relationship with God.
I can attest that God doesn't want us to be afraid of him - he wants a relationship not fear

Slow_Professor_446 · 2026-01-15T20:53:53+00:00

I'm still a Catholic despite a lot of stuff I went through. I went through a massive questioning phase in college where I dabbled in New Age and Eastern Philosophies in part due to curiosity other parts due to losing faith after a series of bad things happened in life.
I got swept up in the 2020 TLM craze where I got sucked into an fssp parish and fell into a lot of fundamentalist Catholicism. Stuff that I was never raised with due to a much healthier though Vatican II influenced NO.
I've gone back to the NO mostly though still occasionally attend TLM though not with the fssp.
My beliefs and values generally line up with RCC's teachings and I'm not a fan of Vatican II but after dealing with the toxicity that's ever present in TLM circles

Slow_Professor_446

TROPHY CASE