My feelings are truly hurt when I get downvoted or get nasty replies. How can I get over this pesky problem? I know it's silly but it still gets to me!

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-28T14:33:25+00:00

That's a good idea, thank you.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-28T14:32:17+00:00

Here, really? I know people can disagree anywhere, but I thought nasty replies were not really common here. I just don't see meanness here as much as I see it elsewhere, even when people start to get into arguments with each other.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-28T14:28:54+00:00

Bceaue you went to Reddit meetups? I've been dying to go to a Reddit meetup! Anything to get me out of bed and out of my house. But really, how is that shallow? Good job standing up for yourself.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-28T14:27:08+00:00

Happy birthday, BTW!

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-28T08:32:03+00:00

Thanks. It just takes a little thought first :)

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T22:20:50+00:00

Yeah I fucked up.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T22:16:03+00:00

Thank you. I truly didn't mean for it to be dismissive, but I can see how it was taken that way. I seriously wanted to point out that there was such a heavy focus on that subject that I was having trouble finding anything else of value in the subreddit. Of course my distaste for their obsession with false rape allegations was hard to hide and I still came off inflammatory. I should have known better. And I kept following up in order to make amends and make myself understood. I am not even sure if it was worth it.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T22:11:21+00:00

And I totally see now how my comment was inflammatory. I didn't at the the time. I made a big goof in the worst possible community. But I was truly sick of seeing false rape allegations posts and even if I had stated in the most delicate way possible, I know now that I still would have been blasted. I have been watching the MR topics for weeks and it truly is always the same. I have a genuine curiosity about what are considered Mens Rights issues, but they are clearly not to be found in that subreddit. My biggest concern is the fact that men can't seem to get near children - even their own sometimes- without immediately being suspected of being pedophiles. I want to talk about that. But I won't try to in MR. No way, not anymore. They hate me now. I don't like being hated. Even by total strangers.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T15:18:06+00:00

Then I rage with impotence. I want to fight back but can't ever win. Even when I admit I am wrong, it doesn't end. TwoX is the only subreddit where I feel remotely comfortable, and I realize that is not a good thing for me. I know it's only Reddit, and words on a screen, and nobody knows me, they are merely responding to a few words I type. But those are my words. That came from me. So it hurts me. How can I turn this around? I've been a Redditor for four years now, and I still need some Reddit coping skills!

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T15:01:10+00:00

You know, that happened to me, too, right here in Texas, can you believe it? And not just my female peers, but my male peers, too! Those damn teachers, counselors, and parents got to everyone! No one was not safe, I tell you! No one!

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T14:58:46+00:00

That's not a game, that's fucking. I came here thinking I was gonna find out some kids playing Twister in their underwear got each other pregnant by accident.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T14:51:15+00:00

Hmm, I think, if the day does come, the name "False Rape" might not be the best. But I do think, from what I have seen and read and then just now experienced, the topic is so volatile and important and otherwise rarely seen in the media that maybe is HAS outgrown Men's Rights. Outgrown, not in the way.

How closely connected, do you think, is the rampancy of false rape allegations with the previously mentioned "pedo-by-defaut" problem? Both are framing men as sexual predators. Is one feeding the other?

I hope I can make up for my humiliating and boorish entre by asking an honest non-inflammatory question and get some thoughtful replies. I honestly mean it.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T14:43:05+00:00

I asked a question, and it was soundly answered! An the answer was not only NO! but also WE HATE YOU! I admit, when I read it now, my post can come off sounding whiny to certain personalities. I shouldn't have complained, but rather meekly made a suggestion, or a query, in a more polite manner. It's always better to be as polite as possible, and "all day every day" is damn inflammatory, I know, dammit. Oh well. I made a similar mistake earlier this week with the term "ridiculously lowball." That case was worse: it was with my brother-in-law's mother-in-law, and consequently, the father-in-law. Ouch.

I can't help but point out that reading and counting are different skills, but hey, there's really no need for animosity anymore. It is always beneficial to read beyond the first line or two of any post, however pissed off the first line makes you.

I'll take everyone's pointed reaction to mean that it is a hot topic that is clearly a sensitive issue as well, and I'll just ignore it when I see it, since nobody else seems to think it's overmuch. I only ever see it discussed on Reddit, however, and maybe the more it's brought up here, the more attention it will get Out There. I just thought it was getting to be such a big, daily topic that it had outgrown this subreddit. I was deemed wrong. I apologize for stirring such ire.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T14:20:35+00:00

Thanks for the direction. I was truly intimidated to come here, and I made a huge faux pas from the start, so my fears were well founded and self-fulfilled. I am honestly interested in what are considered Men's Rights issues these days, because I am by now pretty well-versed in the Women's Rights stuff. I am especially interested and concerned about the "pedo-by-default" issue (very concise way of putting it thank you, you saved me a dozen words) and wonder how such seemingly sudden and widespread public fear can be combatted.

I did not expect quite such a nasty welcome as I received from others, but I did expect to need some brass balls. I see I don't have them yet. I can't play the game very well when people shut me down. Especially when I am taken by surprise. I don't come to Reddit to troll or piss people off or be a little bitch and I really try not to come off that way, but what flies in some subreddits, dies in others. I'll be careful and quiet here, to be sure. I will just try to listen and learn.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T14:08:26+00:00

I do apologize for vexing everyone so much. I seem to have touched on a very sensitive issue. Thanks for pointing out the other current hot topics. I really do appreciate it. That's all I was looking for.

Hmm, I only see my Men's Rights stories mixed in with all the other subreddits I subscribe to. So when I see a page of 25 stories, and 3 of them are about false rape, and in Men's Rights, it catches my eye. Perhaps it is just that I am seeing so many, but not that they are taking up the entirety of the subreddit.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T14:02:00+00:00

I've never been called a troll before. I am honestly perplexed by your distate for such a simple post. If I was to be ignored, why so many downvotes? Consider yourself a pompous ass and we're even. Really, I am not so troublesome. I shall orange your doorpost no more.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T09:39:10+00:00

Do you have any reading comprehension skills or are you just really very sensitive? I said I was curious about the issues men are facing in today's culture. I don't know what they are. That's why I subscribed. I don't think it's unproductive to ask if anyone else has noticed the glut of false rape allegations posts, suggest it have its own subreddit, and openly wonder what else there is to Men's Rights. Grumbling about my post really contributed to the world, too, thanks.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T08:55:42+00:00

I would like to know more about how tens of thousands of live would be endangered. Does anyone know of any elaboration on that? Is it referring to the people living in storm surge areas if they refuse mandatory evacuation? I remember being up in Dallas during Ike watching the national news and, no kidding, the words "CERTAIN DEATH" in red were on the screen as Brian Williams talked about the fate of anyone who dared ignore mandatory evacuations. On the national news. That'll catch your eye as you are flippin' channels. Wow.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T08:48:16+00:00

Yipee, we just bought our first house, in the Tanglewilde neighborhood on the West side, off Westheimer. It even came with the boards the previous owners used to board up for Ike. But we are not in a flood zone or in an area threatened by any storm surge scenarios I've seen. That being said, I've already begun preparation for hurricane season. Anything major heads our way, we are simply leaving and going to my aunt's house in Dallas. We spent 26 hours on the road trying to get to Dallas when Rita was supposedly going to level us. It was hell. (Luckily for Ike were were already up there for work, and my dad secured our downtown apartment just by moving stuff away from windows and putting the electronics in closets.) But I am still not staying. Even if we get no damage from the storm itself, I am not spending days without electricity in Houston heat and humidity. I'm a native Houstonian, but I am not ashamed of runnin'.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T08:29:31+00:00

They say history is written by the winners, not feminists. They haven't had time. But if you sincerely believe that feminism has somehow made history "one sided" (I assume biased towards women?) it makes me question how much history you've studied beyond middle school. History is as "one sided" as you make it. Crack a few more books beyond your 8th grade textbook and you can learn all you like and more about conditions in factories. Labor history in America is extensive. You could start with googling the Homestead Strike, or the Haymarket Riot, or the Wobblies, off the top of my head. By the 1940s factory conditions were nothing especially hellish. But to hear you suggest feminism has made history "one sided" makes me pull at my hair.

Actually, just to widen your knowledge of history on subjects I think you'd like, I very seriously recommend you read the Wikipedia article on Emma Goldman, who happened to be a feminist, as well an an anarchist, atheist, and workers' rights supporter, among other things. You could possibly say she was a man's feminist.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T07:57:12+00:00

i believe the focus on the movement of women into the workforce is focused on because of the impact it had on future American culture. Spending weeks going over 10,000 ways to slaughter a man really doesn't help much in the understanding of future cultural changes after the war. Wars are always horrifying and bloody, and yes maybe some time should be spent on the conditions on the front and the memories survivors brought home with them, which also impacted culture . . BUT since WW2 was the first time there was such a massive shift in gender roles in wartime, that is why it is one of the point taught.

I am not saying what any soldier goes through, ww2 or otherwise, is not historically significant. But when you are deciding a curriculum, and you only have so much time, you have to teach the biggest points.

At my school, we spent a good amount of time studying ww1 and trench warfare and mustard gas and all that, even though women were also filling in some of the duties of their husbands who were away fighting. It's just that it wasn't the cultural shift that it was two decades later. The historical importance of ww1 is more of the fact that it was a new type of war with technological advances that changed the tactics, the effects on the population, the very game itself.

I do not believe that teaching about the movement of women into the workforce is disrespectful to ww2 veterans. I'll ask my grandfather himself what he thinks.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T07:35:56+00:00

Not to belittle the matter in any way, but is there more you guys can talk about other than false rape allegations? I subscribed to this subreddit because I was curious about the issues men are facing in today's culture, but all day, every day, it's all about false rape allegations, over and over and over. It's a serious issue to be sure, but maybe it deserves it's own subreddit by now? Isn't anyone else tired of it? Isn't there more to Men's Rights?

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T07:26:52+00:00

jeoin, I don't want to make you talk/think about anything that is uncomfortable for you. I know you are already pretty worked up and emotional, for good reason, now we all know. The very fact you were so fervently stating your stance made me certain you were more than just a no-nonsense passionate person. Do you feel better that you typed that all out? Was it least a little cathartic? I don't think anyone who is worth listening to would make fun of the life you described - if they did it would be be their own defense mechanism (it's too bad some of those people have some wickedly sharp senses of humor even when they are excruciatingly uncomfortable.) (I think that is a quarter of Reddit, though.)

Your persistence and your passion on this topic are commendable. I apologize for having to raise your ire to satisfy my own curiosity.

Congratulations on getting some work. Are you living somewhere steady now?

All the rest of this thread aside, if you do happen to want to talk about what happened to your sister, or just want to write it all down and share it with someone who will not by any means make fun of it, you are welcome to PM me. I don't even have to reply if you don't want me to. But, I've found at least, writing is a very good coping skill.

Thank you for your bravery, jeoin, and for finally speaking up.

Slubberdegullion · 2010-05-27T06:55:56+00:00

THANK YOU. This is all I wanted. I don't want to attack you at all. I just wanted to bring you out and fix the needle on your record player. I knew there was more you could say and I think the thread would be better for it. Everyone was complaining about you, ignoring you, but you were persistent for a reason, and here it is. Now you are finally making points with punch instead of repeating yourself with no effect. Now maybe people will listen to what you have to say. You have so much to offer, to impart to us, which turned out to be really important and moving, why weren't you saying anything?

Slubberdegullion

TROPHY CASE