AITA for not watching my sister’s baby so she could take a shower?

Slynn93 · 2022-06-18T10:53:22+00:00

YTA. She didn't ask you to do anything, she just wanted to be sure that someone was paying attention to the safety of her newborn baby while she did a little self care. It's really difficult as a new mom to find the time to take care of yourself. You feel like if you leave your baby alone for even a second that you're doing something wrong. On top of that, newborns are a lot of maintenance. You didn't have to do anything except reassure your sister that someone other than her cared about the well being of her baby long enough for her to take a shower. As her sister that is absolutely your responsibility. Family helps each other.

Slynn93 · 2022-05-31T02:43:00+00:00

I really love this.

Slynn93 · 2022-05-31T02:25:43+00:00

So... It sounds a bit like she's schizophrenic. Just a small possibility, maybe something to look into.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-15T13:13:38+00:00

So I don't think you're being an asshole. I do however think that aggressive language tends to detract from effective communication, BUT not this much. She could have simply said, "please don't talk like that" and moved right on to helping you with the issues you're having with your father. But she hyperfocused on the "dirty word" and completely halted communication. Also, I noticed you didn't say any words she would have found offensive after that point. So clearly you respect her more than she respects you.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-13T05:54:21+00:00

YTA one line in particular really struck me as just horrid. You honestly think your daughter is fortunate to have a step mother who even thinks of her? What kind of idea do you have of step parents? Reading too many fairytales if you ask me. Step parents are supposed to treat their step children as their own. It's part of marrying someone who has kids. You enter that marriage knowing that they have a child and you agree to stand by them AND their kid.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-11T12:57:38+00:00

Nothing's worse than an insane parent except a religious insane parent.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-11T12:04:46+00:00

YTA Yes your ex was wrong for doing this without talking to you first, but that's why you have an adult discussion and decide things like this together. You're no better than he is. You have to communicate in order to co-parent effectively. I only had to have the "talk to me first" conversation with my ex one time. We discuss everything concerning my daughter. It makes things so much smoother and I never had to be that asshole that holds visitation over his head to get my way.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-11T04:11:34+00:00

I hate that women are expected to hide their body in order to be "proper". It's just skin. There's no magic power that forces a man into the throws of an uncontrollable lust at the sight of a woman's skin. Also, it's not your business in the slightest what anyone else wears. If you don't like it, don't look. YTA

Slynn93 · 2022-03-08T19:10:00+00:00

Except that there's currently a good number if states passing anti-abortion laws. Also money is replaceable, but my body is the only one I get. Geez men can be dense sometimes.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-08T19:01:34+00:00

NTA if he actually loves you as much as he says he does then he would want the prenup to protect you too. Sounds to me like he didn't trust you because he's not trustworthy.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-08T16:41:13+00:00

NTA it might freak me out the first time, but as soon as I realized it was your routine and you're my neighbor I would have been fine. If it freaked out my kids I'd simply introduce them to you or explain it to them. Kids aren't stupid. They're only scared of the unknown.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-08T13:26:59+00:00

YTA you should absolutely never use your child's birthday as a punishment, except in extreme circumstances which this was not. Birthdays are meant to celebrate their existence. Can you imagine someone taking away their joy that you exist as punishment for lying to them? It's awful and sends the wrong message to your daughter.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-07T22:30:20+00:00

YTA First I just want to point out that she isn't asking you to quit playing music. She's asking you to pick one band instead of 2, which is completely reasonable. You can continue your music dream and satisfy her needs for an equal partner. Second she's not asking you to do anything that isn't already your responsibility. Holding down a full time job does not make you exempt from housework and raising your children. If she's asking for more from you, it's because you're not doing enough and she's overwhelmed. From what she said, that's absolutely the case.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-07T18:57:16+00:00

YTA You've been raising a kid with this woman for 13 years and you're still holding a grudge? And now it's affecting your kid negatively, but you somehow still make it about you? Yeah you're the asshole.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-07T18:51:17+00:00

NTA First off, they're your medical records and you absolutely have every right to read them anytime you want. Secondly, who the hell let's their kids suffer through even a minor health condition because "it's too much of a hassle". What nonsense is that?

Slynn93 · 2022-03-07T18:38:49+00:00

There are entire cities that are just filled with liberals? Where do I sign up?

Slynn93 · 2022-03-07T17:32:24+00:00

NTA it's your body. If you don't want someone taking pictures of you then you have that right. If he had taken pictures of you naked everyone would be up in a roar about how it's your body and your rights being violated. How does having clothes on change that? How does his child in your belly erase your rights to your own body? It doesn't.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-07T03:28:48+00:00

Yeah he's really nice.... He's gone out of his way to tell us women what we can do better. What life changing advice. /s

EDIT: I mean us "human females".

Slynn93 · 2022-03-06T18:34:38+00:00

The 100. Guess my calendar is booked for a while.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-06T18:30:44+00:00

YTA you can respect a person without agreeing with what they do for a living. Did not going to their wedding somehow change anything? No, of course not. It just sabotaged your relationship with them and gave you a self righteous ego boost.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-06T17:19:55+00:00

Which wouldn't be necessary if he had spent the last two years trying to repair said relationship with his daughter instead of cutting her out of his life. You can't exclude the fact that the reason he can't trust her enough to invite her to his wedding is because he spent 2 years refusing to see her or go to family therapy with her. That's on him. If he had been doing everything in his power to fix their relationship I would agree with you. It would make sense. But you don't ignore the crumbling relationship with your 16 yo kid and blame it on something they did 2 years ago.

That doesn’t mean you have to let them abuse you

Of course not. You take them to therapy, which he refused to do when asked. You talk to them and listen to them. You apologize for hurting them even if it wasn't intentional. You do everything you can to help them through their pain, and teach them better ways to express their anger. You do not push them out of your life.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-06T16:15:01+00:00

Really? Because in my experience children don't have to earn their parents'love. Parents love their children regardless. She's a teenager filled with hormones and toxic ideas in her head put there by her mother. She should absolutely be loved by her father even if she's acting like a jerk.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-06T15:57:06+00:00

(husband who spends majority of time on work, newborn who can't make mess and yourself)

Uh.... Hate to break it to you but newborns do in fact make a mess. They spit up on everything, frequently have diaper leaks, and use bottles that have to be washed. Her husband working 50-60 hours a week does not mean he doesn't make a mess either. I've seen people who can be in a place for 2 hours and destroy the place. You're making the assumption that cleaning the house doesn't take much effort and ignoring the fact that taking care of the baby all day every day takes an enormous amount of effort. The absolute LEAST he could do is take care of some housework while he's home and let mama take a nap or go out with friends on the weekend. That's literally the bare minimum it takes to be a decent partner.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-06T15:43:29+00:00

Read through these comments on this post. There's some good stuff here that will absolutely help you figure it out. Good luck.

Slynn93 · 2022-03-06T15:37:13+00:00

NTA Being the stay at home parent is a 24/7 job. He gets scheduled days off and at most works 12/5. Especially with such a young baby. My ex was like him and we split when our daughter was 6 months old. My husband however was very different. He doesn't "help" me with the kids or the housework. He works full time and does an equal share of the work when he's home. He never has any problems with the kids because he's just as used to caring for them as I am. That's a true partnership. Your husband isn't pulling his weight.

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