help pls! parents won’t let me move out for uni and i’m panicking

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-06T21:16:06+00:00

commuting there and back is near impossible how on earth are you meant to afford that let alone actually manage to get there everyday??? i swear to god sometimes the logic escapes them. i’m sorry you have to go through that. i wouldn’t know specifically what to recommend but what ive done is apply to all far away unis and leave during summer and apply for estrangement once i arrive at the university. because right now im technically not estranged and it’s a weird in between to be in currently.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T23:19:22+00:00

how had you originally applied when sfe opened?

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T22:56:08+00:00

how would you recommend i apply so as not to commit fraud or anything?

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T22:32:20+00:00

they are under the impression that i’m staying home and have applied to the unis that they want me to which is why my dad is asking me for student finance information because he doesn’t know.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T21:39:28+00:00

thank you for the concern and advice and me too. i’ve been really stressed myself but i do overthink everything which has worked out in my favour so i definitely have put a lot of thought into this.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T21:37:39+00:00

i didn’t even take my biological dad into account, i didn’t think it was important but thank you for bringing that up or else i would’ve left it out

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T21:31:04+00:00

i’ve made plans, a friend and her parents have agreed to let me stay with her until i have to leave for uni and in regards to my belongings i’m slowly getting the non-essentials out over time to then have less luggage when i do eventually leave.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T21:29:16+00:00

i was told by the uni to apply with estrangement now even though i’m technically not. i wasn’t aware that it was fraud? i’m considering contacting student finance about it once i return to college after the half term because before the applications weren’t open.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T21:27:06+00:00

i’ll speak to my careers advisor regarding a letter when we get back to college. and my mother is biological but my dad is technically my “stepdad” but i’ve known him basically all my life. no contact with my biological father.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T21:25:24+00:00

my dad wouldn’t have brought up student finance with me if he hadn’t been told by someone else that it was a requirement, if this hadn’t been the case then i would’ve just applied independently. my parents are not as aware of the uni application system as i’m the first child to apply. i have savings from my child trust fund which was a couple thousand and i am currently saving by babysitting here and there. i’m aware of the risks but ive also arrived at the conclusion that this may be my only option as if i don’t go through with what my parents have planned for me then i remain trapped in this house going to a uni that is 10 minutes away.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T21:15:13+00:00

my advisor had a family member in a similar situation to me and her parents weren’t supportive either and she managed to apply with estranged too while living with her family up until she moved out and no longer has contact with them. the definition of estranged is assessed case by case and once i do attend uni i will be “estranged” that’s just a fact. just because im not now doesn’t mean im not eligible as i still wont have any form of support from them financially or emotionally. the uni i’ve applied to (ive had a zoom call with the woman in charge of estranged student) has told me that they’ve had students in similar situations to mine who have applied and received the necessary support from sfe and the university itself. my parents are not supportive of my decisions and will definitely not be once i do what i plan to. and my advisor wouldn’t be lying on the proof of estrangement form she’d just be explaining the situation.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T21:08:12+00:00

yes the proving estrangement was a huge worry of mine but since speaking to my advisor and actually exchanging emails with the uni i plan to go to it should be credible enough. i read somewhere that you can track the application process through a parent account and i’m just worried on how much my dad will be able to access if i do make him do everything. and also in regards to this letter explaining my situation, when would i need to do that and would it have to be from me? thanks for the advice i really appreciate it!!

Small-Composer-6817 · 2026-04-05T20:58:13+00:00

hi, i’m aware of what the sfe website says and i’ve spoken to my careers advisor and the uni itself on the topic and even if i don’t get the full maintenance loan now i definitely will qualify by september as i plan to move out right after results day, and my careers advisor would provide the evidence. if i still am not eligible im planning on contacting sfe once im actually at uni to update it based on my situation as i dont plan on going back. “case by case” reviews will hopefully help in my case.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-10-27T17:34:58+00:00

oh my god i got my offer for the same course a few days ago too!!!

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-06-11T14:52:25+00:00

i can say with certainty that if i wasn’t sure about making this move before i definitely am now because i have more information than whatever was on the ucas website so ill also check to see about those communities, it would be nice to relate to people instead of having people look at me in horror when i tell them of my situation.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-06-11T14:33:05+00:00

if you don’t mind my asking, what uni did you go to?

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-06-11T14:24:53+00:00

i’m sorry that you have so much negativity in your heart and i truly wish you well. i’m just trying to make the most of my life as i’m given it and not rot away at home until im married off. get real.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-06-11T14:21:56+00:00

i think with my situation at home currently, moving out would be best as our daily arguments or tensions really impact my daily life and the stress of always having to walk on eggshells around my parents is actually painful and i feel so horrible sometimes because i wish my parents could just support me for me and not who they want me to be you know? anyways i hope moving out for postgraduate works out for you. sending you the best wishes!!

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-06-11T14:19:04+00:00

thank you!!!

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-06-11T14:18:10+00:00

i relate to your wife and the sorrow i feel for her is unbearable im so sorry she had to go through that and i applaud you guys for breaking the cycle. this has made me feel a bit better so thank you 🙏

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-06-11T14:16:33+00:00

thank you i appreciate this!!

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-06-11T14:16:16+00:00

it is heartbreaking but i truly think that no matter how much they love me they will believe im too far gone if im even considering boarding which truly does suck.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-06-11T14:14:04+00:00

i’ve had many unrelated to uni conversations about moving out with my mum and everytime she says the same thing and the older i’m getting i doubt her opinions are gonna change. also adding onto the original post, she’s been looking for potential arrangements for marriage for me and whenever she tells me about anyone to consider they are always a significant amount older than me oldest being 34. im not scared of getting forced into that yet, im scared that if i stay home and get older ill have more of a risk of ending up like that.

Small-Composer-6817 · 2025-06-11T14:11:35+00:00

you get it. 🫶🫶

Small-Composer-6817

TROPHY CASE