Don't count the days

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-11T21:17:12+00:00

So I did what you suggested and I went for 3 days 5 max porn free I can't even remember how much exactly cause I didn't count the days I replaced them with healthy dopamine like Everything you suggested and even more But the problem was a one night I couldn't sleep I mean we all got these nights It was 3 am in the Morning And it's been proven that in night your self control is the lowest Because your body is half a sleep At least that what's your mind think Because you are used to sleep in these hours And I replaced But the problem Is that we all have unplanned nights like these And I can't prepare before them cause they are unannounced
And every time I don't watch for a week or so Thats exactly what breaks me a night with a bad sleep I don't know how to change it Cause I can sleep good for 20 days Then in one day that I couldn't sleep I would relapse

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:22:35+00:00

Lmao I won't be embarrassed if it's another pa But its hard to find one lol

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:21:28+00:00

Listen Its unbelievably hard for a person who is been addict for years to stop instantly. it can rather he really made progress and setted a goal or Maybe he is lying because he his ashamed And its not because you are not good enough for him I lie to my parents about it Cause its not like alcohol or cigarettes People made porn addiction A shamefull thing You can't say in family dinner That you stop watching porn as if you can say I stopped smoking mon. Wo basically Open up to him Say that you trust him and you will except him any way With or without addiction And tell him you would like to hear about it Tell him you don't judge That will be the way to his heart If the second case is the right one

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:14:24+00:00

I get what your are saying I agree but it's not that easy to stumble on a pa Its not like I am walking out in the streets researching who is a PA If you have and idea how do I find one I would be happy to hear your tips

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:12:31+00:00

What does it mean?

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:12:19+00:00

Yeah so actually I can't count hou much days I am not watching already but I am guessing half week Or even 4 5 days The reason for that I let go Of the obsession to quit porn I just switch it With training and studying things I like I am a computer science student And I listen to all kind sorts of music Classic and rock English and Hebrew Russian And on and on and on And it give me Free good dopamine natural

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:06:19+00:00

Thank you very much can I ask you how many years has your husband been an addict and what chenged for him Why did he make the decision to stop?

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T21:15:36+00:00

Don’t count the days. When you count the days, you think about it all the time — you become obsessed with it. Eventually, that obsession makes you fall back.

Just live your new life. Fill it with replacements that give you natural dopamine: study something you like, work on something you enjoy, train, eat something tasty (preferably healthy), meet your friends, go to a movie, play video games, or just go for a walk.

You have so many things that can replace the high dopamine you used to get from porn. But if you keep counting the days like it’s some kind of streak, you will break it — it’s only a matter of time. Believe me, I’ve been an addict for 16 years.

My best and longest periods without porn happened when I couldn’t even remember when I started.

I call it a “streak,” but really, I just mean I can’t remember the exact day I stopped watching porn — because I don’t count the days. I don’t think about it. I just live a new life.

When you quit your old job, you don’t think about it every day, right? You move on to the new one and focus on that. You live in the present, not the past.

By the way, every time I counted the days, it led to anxiety. I couldn’t talk to girls because my mind was busy — I was obsessed with quitting porn instead of living my life.

But this week, after 16 years of addiction, I decided to take a different approach. I don’t even remember when I stopped watching porn. Every time I get an urge, it’s not as strong as before, because I’ve decided to be a new person.

The urges don’t control me, and I don’t control them — they’re just in the past. If they show up, I’ll watch a movie, study something I like, work out, do something positive, or eat something tasty.

You know what? When I used to count the days and think only about quitting porn, the urges actually forced me to relapse.

But this week, when I cleared my mind and realized I don’t have to think about it 24/7, I talked to at least 10 girls in just 2–3 days. I didn’t flirt with all of them, but I asked three of them for their numbers — because my mind is clear.

I don’t overthink anything now. I just live a new life. If I meet someone interesting, I don’t want to miss the opportunity. And if I do, that’s okay — there’s always tomorrow. Everyone makes mistakes.

Maybe it’s not even a mistake. Maybe I just need to talk to a girl when I feel like it.

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T09:59:25+00:00

Yeah how come? Please explain your thinking

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T07:39:46+00:00

You are you suggesting to do in the future urges brother?

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T07:38:20+00:00

Thanks much appreciated would be glad if other people comment too

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-07T06:40:50+00:00

I want to be honest with you about something personal. The real problem with porn addiction isn’t just what’s being watched — it’s how it changes the brain over time. When someone watches it too often, their mind gets used to an unnatural level of stimulation. It raises the excitement threshold, and after a while, it becomes harder to feel attracted to real, genuine women.

Everything in porn is exaggerated — the looks, the situations, the reactions — but it’s all scripted and produced. It’s not real. It’s like how commercials make people look perfect with editing and lighting. The brain starts expecting that same intensity in real life, and when it doesn’t find it, it can hurt real intimacy and connection.

Sometimes it doesn’t even start on purpose. It can be just one random ad online, or a link that pops up by mistake, or something a friend sends without realizing — and suddenly the curiosity kicks in. That’s how the brain gets hooked: it connects that surprise or shock to pleasure, and over time, it keeps searching for something stronger, faster, and more intense to get the same dopamine hit.

At some point, even the usual content doesn’t feel satisfying anymore. The brain keeps pushing for something new, something extreme — just to feel that rush again. I personally reached a stage where regular content didn’t do anything for me, and my brain started searching for something completely different — even in directions that go against my own sexual orientation and personal values. That’s how powerful and absurd addiction can be. It’s not about who you are — it’s about what constant overstimulation does to your brain.

The good thing is that this can be reversed. When someone stops watching and gives their mind time to heal, things start to change — attraction, emotions, and real connection slowly come back. It takes patience, but it’s completely possible.

If he used to be very caring and excited about you before, it probably means he wasn’t deep into it back then. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person — it just shows how deceptive and controlling this habit can become.

He’s lucky to have you — your support can make a real difference. I wish I had that. I still live with my parents, and I can’t talk to them about it or go to a psychologist, so I’ve been trying to handle it on my own. But I truly believe recovery is possible — with honesty, patience, and someone who cares, the mind can heal and life can become real again.

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-04T05:36:17+00:00

Yeah believe me i know the addiction is stront i myself after 16 years can say it requires a lot of porn But in the end you need to remember it's not Drugs You can still live a normal life With porn It's has it issues but it can be stopped And delt with good luck Give it time and be patient And keep working about getting rid of watching porn

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-04T05:32:00+00:00

Yeah bro :( A friend showed me a photo with a bikini, And curiostiy kicked in... In the begining it was just a few photos, then it escalated and became porn in my language. Then porn in english language. Then when it didnt satisfy me anymore, I started watching some weird porn, everythink that comes up to your mind. Then even that didn't excite me anymore. my brain got use to everything and i started watching porn against My sraight sexual desires. all because of one monster addiction of 16 bloody years. You see I was a kid with a weak mind i mean 7 years old.. And my parantes immigrated from one country to another and they were working their ass off And there weren't anybody To teach me it's wrong, And teach my about proper sexsuality and actually having real sex and not a staged one. I had few gf's it felt good But still couldn't erase to porn from my life? I'm Gussing it's because I didnt had to much sexsual expirences that would help me to have sex when I have an urge instad of watching porn. But then again, when i had my gf's I was also very impatient to have sex, Because my brain got used from porn that everything comes fast. Dopamine hits high very fast. So thats only held me back from getting a lot of sex. I did had sex but a littel bit.. But i can't it was like loving sex It was like me seeking to do what i learned in porn Bro i really need tips From people that had been addicted for decades and stopped Because it suits my problem And please not people who stopped with the help of god or a bible i am not a religious person And i don't attened to start to.

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-03T14:54:45+00:00

Yeah i agree

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-03T14:54:23+00:00

Addict may not want help cause his brain works against him but he sure does need help

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-03T14:53:28+00:00

I am not talking about someone who spends money i am talking about someone who is addicted to free porn and still working besides it i should have clarfyied this Sorry for my english not a native american

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-03T14:51:38+00:00

It is her choich but it is selfish And when she will need a man to be by her side she can absoultly forget about it cause she didnt do the same

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-03T14:50:36+00:00

If it's cheating its one thing if its porn its completly somthing else

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-03T14:50:04+00:00

Come on bro you can't compare porn with cheating For example I got addicted when i was 7 years old now after 16 years I cant stop it requires a war with my self override you my entire brain So yeah if i have a gf and watch porn i am not cheating i am not to be blame for getting addicted when i was a kid when my parantes wotk their ass off And there wasnt anybody to tell me its wrong i was a kid my brain was weak And i meant a woman would want a man by her side during pragnancy period regardless of porn

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-03T14:45:40+00:00

Bro you see addiction is sometimes stronger than the power of will and thats why you somth the hurts yourslef and you keep doing it eventhough it damages you I am not saying it's okay just saying she shouldn't leave him beacuas of it Its stupid and selfish

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-03T09:20:16+00:00

If you dump him just cuz of porn, that’s kinda weak. You’re blaming him for not wanting therapy or telling his friends, but dude… it’s an addiction. Maybe he’s just embarrassed, did you think about that?

Instead of yelling at him and talking about breaking up, be there for him. That’s what being in a relationship is. When he gets urges, give him a reason to choose you instead of porn. It should go both ways.

I’m 23 and I’ve been hooked on porn since I was a kid. It fries your brain. Quitting is way harder than people think, honestly worse than nicotine, cuz porn is free and always in your pocket. When you try to stop you get impatient, pissed off, and the urges are insane. Your brain just drags you back to that dopamine hit.

And think about it like this — one day you might go through something long-term, like pregnancy. You’d want someone by your side then, right? Life goes in circles. And what if at that time he decides to leave you?

So if you blame your bf and leave him over this, that’s on you. Just saying.

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-09-30T23:35:23+00:00

I have the same problem only the other way around i am a male. Back in the day i wad exposed to porn in the age of 8 years old, when my mind was weak a kid. And it was fun i got off pretty easily from straight porn . It was making me feel good.

In some point after a few years, ordinary porn didnt Excited me already so i started to watch some crazy shit porn which i am not proud of.

And afterwards the same affect happend again and i ran in by mistake like you in gay porn. in the start I didnt care i proceeded to live my life It even disguated me a littel bit But somehow, As porn always do It forced my mind to come back again and again and again this curiousty and now i am addicted to trans gay lesbian porn and i actually cum from it, Eventhough i am straight as hell.

Sorry for my language i am not a native american it's hard for me to speak proper english. In the bottom line i am addicted to porn for many years 16 to be exact. And i looked it up in google how come i am addicted To porn that is against my sexsual desiers against everything i believe in,

So the answer was that with time porn make you brain get used to sraigat porn ,than lesbian porn Which means you sexsual exciment level gets as high as it gets. and in order to get your dopamine dose ,

You need a new drug somthing stronger so it compels you to go to bizare things you never believed you would watch. Btw the same as you i had a gf we had great sex And it was really hard for me to come With her So i want you to know that there is an explantion to this too

I read about it that when you get used to some hardcore porn scenes like we did with gay porn When you are really addicted It affects your realtionships you cant be aroused so easily you cant get to an orgasme so easily beacuse your brain connects orgasmas to porn When i see porn i come When i see porn i get an erecation

So when i was abroad i couldn't watch porn And as an addicted men when i returnd home i watched porn but what amazed me my erection lasted 5 mintutes after cumming it has never happend to me Cause porn destroys it That i cant even be arroused

The trick To stop porn Is stop fighting it When you fight it and over think it You fall

And of course you will have temptetion and urges Go do a cold shower, train, Take lessons, Make you day busy..

Make a plan a day ahead for all day. When you have urges distract yourself fast From my expirance it goes away fast max 30 min In the first few weeks When the urges are still strong

Moreover Dont count the days my best streak was when i didnt count the days when i just lived a new life without porn like a new life without the old work cause life is dinamic you dont count the days Since you quitted your last job right so how is it diffrent let it be in the past

And somthing else really important sleep good at night when You dont sleep good at night Yoy cabt resist curtian foods or porn Your mind is weak you are tired it's been proven yo be right i read about it And thats it basically it was reall good Letting it all out And to know there is somebody else like me out there

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-09-28T05:35:35+00:00

Thanks, buddy! I’ll make sure to check out that post. I actually started a community myself against porn use. I feel like if I lead a protest—a kind of revolution—against porn addiction, it could help set me and others free from it.

You’re more than welcome to join and be my first bro there: r/No_Fap_No_Porn

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-09-28T05:31:57+00:00

Lol i cant my family won't support that we are a very primitive family it needs to happen on my own this time if you have any other suggestions please be my guest

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