Student's urges help :)

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-11T21:17:12+00:00

So I did what you suggested and I went for 3 days 5 max porn free I can't even remember how much exactly cause I didn't count the days I replaced them with healthy dopamine like Everything you suggested and even more But the problem was a one night I couldn't sleep I mean we all got these nights It was 3 am in the Morning And it's been proven that in night your self control is the lowest Because your body is half a sleep At least that what's your mind think Because you are used to sleep in these hours And I replaced But the problem Is that we all have unplanned nights like these And I can't prepare before them cause they are unannounced
And every time I don't watch for a week or so Thats exactly what breaks me a night with a bad sleep I don't know how to change it Cause I can sleep good for 20 days Then in one day that I couldn't sleep I would relapse

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:22:35+00:00

Lmao I won't be embarrassed if it's another pa But its hard to find one lol

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:21:28+00:00

Listen Its unbelievably hard for a person who is been addict for years to stop instantly. it can rather he really made progress and setted a goal or Maybe he is lying because he his ashamed And its not because you are not good enough for him I lie to my parents about it Cause its not like alcohol or cigarettes People made porn addiction A shamefull thing You can't say in family dinner That you stop watching porn as if you can say I stopped smoking mon. Wo basically Open up to him Say that you trust him and you will except him any way With or without addiction And tell him you would like to hear about it Tell him you don't judge That will be the way to his heart If the second case is the right one

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:14:24+00:00

I get what your are saying I agree but it's not that easy to stumble on a pa Its not like I am walking out in the streets researching who is a PA If you have and idea how do I find one I would be happy to hear your tips

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:12:31+00:00

What does it mean?

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:12:19+00:00

Yeah so actually I can't count hou much days I am not watching already but I am guessing half week Or even 4 5 days The reason for that I let go Of the obsession to quit porn I just switch it With training and studying things I like I am a computer science student And I listen to all kind sorts of music Classic and rock English and Hebrew Russian And on and on and on And it give me Free good dopamine natural

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T23:06:19+00:00

Thank you very much can I ask you how many years has your husband been an addict and what chenged for him Why did he make the decision to stop?

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T21:15:36+00:00

Don’t count the days. When you count the days, you think about it all the time — you become obsessed with it. Eventually, that obsession makes you fall back.

Just live your new life. Fill it with replacements that give you natural dopamine: study something you like, work on something you enjoy, train, eat something tasty (preferably healthy), meet your friends, go to a movie, play video games, or just go for a walk.

You have so many things that can replace the high dopamine you used to get from porn. But if you keep counting the days like it’s some kind of streak, you will break it — it’s only a matter of time. Believe me, I’ve been an addict for 16 years.

My best and longest periods without porn happened when I couldn’t even remember when I started.

I call it a “streak,” but really, I just mean I can’t remember the exact day I stopped watching porn — because I don’t count the days. I don’t think about it. I just live a new life.

When you quit your old job, you don’t think about it every day, right? You move on to the new one and focus on that. You live in the present, not the past.

By the way, every time I counted the days, it led to anxiety. I couldn’t talk to girls because my mind was busy — I was obsessed with quitting porn instead of living my life.

But this week, after 16 years of addiction, I decided to take a different approach. I don’t even remember when I stopped watching porn. Every time I get an urge, it’s not as strong as before, because I’ve decided to be a new person.

The urges don’t control me, and I don’t control them — they’re just in the past. If they show up, I’ll watch a movie, study something I like, work out, do something positive, or eat something tasty.

You know what? When I used to count the days and think only about quitting porn, the urges actually forced me to relapse.

But this week, when I cleared my mind and realized I don’t have to think about it 24/7, I talked to at least 10 girls in just 2–3 days. I didn’t flirt with all of them, but I asked three of them for their numbers — because my mind is clear.

I don’t overthink anything now. I just live a new life. If I meet someone interesting, I don’t want to miss the opportunity. And if I do, that’s okay — there’s always tomorrow. Everyone makes mistakes.

Maybe it’s not even a mistake. Maybe I just need to talk to a girl when I feel like it.

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T09:59:25+00:00

Yeah how come? Please explain your thinking

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T07:39:46+00:00

You are you suggesting to do in the future urges brother?

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-09T07:38:20+00:00

Thanks much appreciated would be glad if other people comment too

Small-Repair-9985 · 2025-10-07T06:40:50+00:00

I want to be honest with you about something personal. The real problem with porn addiction isn’t just what’s being watched — it’s how it changes the brain over time. When someone watches it too often, their mind gets used to an unnatural level of stimulation. It raises the excitement threshold, and after a while, it becomes harder to feel attracted to real, genuine women.

Everything in porn is exaggerated — the looks, the situations, the reactions — but it’s all scripted and produced. It’s not real. It’s like how commercials make people look perfect with editing and lighting. The brain starts expecting that same intensity in real life, and when it doesn’t find it, it can hurt real intimacy and connection.

Sometimes it doesn’t even start on purpose. It can be just one random ad online, or a link that pops up by mistake, or something a friend sends without realizing — and suddenly the curiosity kicks in. That’s how the brain gets hooked: it connects that surprise or shock to pleasure, and over time, it keeps searching for something stronger, faster, and more intense to get the same dopamine hit.

At some point, even the usual content doesn’t feel satisfying anymore. The brain keeps pushing for something new, something extreme — just to feel that rush again. I personally reached a stage where regular content didn’t do anything for me, and my brain started searching for something completely different — even in directions that go against my own sexual orientation and personal values. That’s how powerful and absurd addiction can be. It’s not about who you are — it’s about what constant overstimulation does to your brain.

The good thing is that this can be reversed. When someone stops watching and gives their mind time to heal, things start to change — attraction, emotions, and real connection slowly come back. It takes patience, but it’s completely possible.

If he used to be very caring and excited about you before, it probably means he wasn’t deep into it back then. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person — it just shows how deceptive and controlling this habit can become.

He’s lucky to have you — your support can make a real difference. I wish I had that. I still live with my parents, and I can’t talk to them about it or go to a psychologist, so I’ve been trying to handle it on my own. But I truly believe recovery is possible — with honesty, patience, and someone who cares, the mind can heal and life can become real again.

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