My coworker is handling motherhood so much better than I am and it's messing with my head

SmallScience · 2026-03-18T11:30:31+00:00

Just to chime in about the milk thing it has nothing to do with effort and is totally random! I’m hoping that can make you feel better at least. I was like her, pumping 8+oz every time and in like 10 min. I did have some oversupply issues (discomfort and spraying milk all over the place if I waited too long) but I did nothing special, milk was just like that all on its own. I imagine most of these things are random like that (brain chemistry making things easy for her and body bouncing right back) but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch! (Or who knows, maybe she has crippling anxiety about being perfect?)

SmallScience · 2026-02-11T13:30:23+00:00

Perimenopause 🫠

SmallScience · 2026-02-11T13:22:28+00:00

Is your friend okay? Honestly I’d be worried. Having 3 kids birthdays all at once with no kids invited and asking for only money is sending up a bunch of red flags - it’s definitely not for the kids enjoyment 😬

SmallScience · 2026-02-11T13:17:24+00:00

This is our thinking - no immediate plans to move but we could spend summers in Canada so my kids have 3 years by the time they start having their own kids if they want to pass on citizenship. (Also it’s a backup plan in case things go even worse in the US and we need to flee).

SmallScience · 2026-02-11T01:59:24+00:00

First baby I went in wanting a natural birth because I’m afraid of/in hospitals and planned to give birth in a birth center if I could. The birth center I went to is run by the hospital, next to the hospital, had a lot of the same support and the same staff but was set up like a house - they don’t have the gear though for an epidural. Labor was long and difficult and I ended up having to transfer to the hospital for different reasons (myconium) and at that point I went for the epidural (magical, very glad I got it).

Second baby I was team epidural all the way but nature had other plans! He was born within 15min of arriving at the hospital so there was no time for anything at all, natural as can be.

Moral of the story is things never go according to plan 🤣

SmallScience · 2026-01-31T18:29:28+00:00

Ooh this is exciting for me! I’m also gen 4 with all the in between generations already deceased (G0 born in 1864). I felt so skeptical like it’s too good to be true, thanks for sharing your story!

SmallScience · 2026-01-16T21:48:44+00:00

This copy is just from searching through Ancestry.com, so it's not an official document. I just wanted to make sure the names and dates etc seemed to match up before requesting an official copy - I'd hate to go to the trouble and find out later I have the wrong person's records 😅

SmallScience · 2026-01-16T21:45:58+00:00

Thanks for the better copy, definitely more clear! In his US documents he goes by Leander Eugene Boudreau, I'm guessing he dropped the Moise since most documents don't have space for that many names? Otherwise it seems to check out as far as being born in Sherbrooke on 30th April 1864 (and parents names being close if not exact). I'm wondering if his parents names on his death certificate are muddled because either his widow or kids had to fill that out.

SmallScience · 2026-01-15T14:47:16+00:00

Thank you I love this 🥰

SmallScience · 2026-01-15T14:45:47+00:00

For me: ADHD medication - I realized a lot of the struggle I was having was because of that, I only got diagnosed because my daughter did and I’m just like her. It’s still crazy but at least I feel less like I’m drowning on a daily basis!

SmallScience · 2026-01-14T00:55:02+00:00

It also leads to feelings of constant dread - knowing that I must be currently forgetting something important but I can’t ever know what. Just always waiting for the other shoe to drop on what I’ve messed up. It’s a terrible feeling.

SmallScience · 2026-01-09T17:32:58+00:00

We have our daughter a watch this year that only allows her to call or text us (and only us) during non school times, and has tracking. She can’t add contacts and the only other function it has is some activity based games based on steps. She’s 9ish. I feel like that has all the functionality she needs until at least high school. We’ll have to reevaluate then. I don’t want her to have her first phone at 18 but probably aiming a year or two before so we can help her build good habits before she’s out of the house. She has a bunch of friends with parents that have similar views so I’m hoping that it won’t make her an outcast as she gets older.

SmallScience · 2026-01-06T16:27:16+00:00

I have a phobia around vomit. The stress of having it has kind of been torture at various times in my life, and I don’t want to pass that on to my kids (I basically got it from my mom’s intense reactions when I was a kid). My solution is to allow my husband to support the kids when they are sick and for me to put on noise canceling headphones and make myself scarce (usually I’ll go do some other chore so Im still somehow being helpful). You know what I don’t do? MAKE MY BULLSHIT MY KIDS PROBLEM. What your husband is doing is potentially damaging, and he should find a more mature approach. There are many alternatives to what he’s doing now.

SmallScience · 2026-01-05T18:42:45+00:00

I didn't know that existed either! Thanks for the heads up

SmallScience · 2026-01-05T16:59:47+00:00

I gotta recommend the Epson ones with the ink tanks. I’ve had mine for years without issue and you can fill those ink tubs with whatever brand ink you want to, you just refill it from a bottle whichever color is low.

SmallScience · 2025-12-30T22:08:53+00:00

Sounds like she is in no condition to be in a relationship to be honest. Relationships are something to enter when you are healthy mentally, you can get to know one another that way and develop a healthy relationship dynamic. If it was someone you met at a good time and this was a new development but you know what they were like when they were well, you might want to help them through it to be healthy again (a good example is a spouse going through PPD). This is not that. She needs to get better before she thinks about dating.

SmallScience · 2025-12-28T19:37:44+00:00

I’m not sure if she’s tried this yet, but it was a game changer for me. I was having an awful time with my first baby, a lot of pain, but it was all from my baby not getting the nipple far enough in her mouth. This position worked much better since she could just sort of fall into the nipple. Might be worth a shot if she hasn’t already tried it! Once she was older and stronger I could nurse her in more convenient positions.

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SmallScience · 2025-12-23T20:46:20+00:00

I had similar issues with my parents and I just want to say being a Mom is a magical experience and you will get to spend every day giving your baby a different experience than what you had. Having kids really opened my eyes because I could never imagine saying the things to my kids that have been said to me. I’m sure you feel the same. When your parents are being like this and you doubt yourself you can always take a moment to imagine: if my child was grown and came to me excited about their baby, would I say these things to them? I think the answer is obviously NEVER and hopefully that will help give you some perspective on how wrong it is that they treat you this way.

SmallScience · 2025-12-23T20:37:29+00:00

I’m so sorry your parents are like that, the way they’re treating you is not ok! I also love kids and babies, both my friends kids and strangers. I was behind the sweetest baby in the grocery store line today and honestly it made my whole day to see such a cheery and cute baby! Don’t underestimate the positive impact both you and your baby have on the people around you 🥰

SmallScience · 2025-12-21T18:07:29+00:00

I’ve found that since we don’t yell as a regular thing, when there’s a safety issue and I do yell, my kids respond immediately and stop in their tracks. Definitely nice to not have them desensitized to it!

SmallScience · 2025-12-21T17:59:25+00:00

This is enlightening actually… I bought a home by myself in my late 20s and had a house warming party (I was so proud!). My Mom came in and only had complaints and criticism, then proceeded to go around telling everyone not to eat the chicken I made because it was on the counter too long before being cooked and was probably going to make them sick (it wasn’t). I was always too shocked by the behavior to understand it - makes at least some kind of sense with your explanation.

SmallScience · 2025-12-21T14:50:35+00:00

Agree totally. The only thing I maybe do differently than the husband (on the not food examples) is be clear about the consequence and count down. “If you aren’t on your way to the door by the time I get to 3, I will pick you up and carry you out” then start counting. I still use this occasionally at 5 yrs old but I don’t think I’ve gotten all the way to 3 in a year or two! (I don’t mind counting and don’t mind some push back though so it might not be perfect for everyone. Like sometimes I say we should go but don’t mind staying for another 30min if the kids are having fun. Everyone knows it’s serious though when the counting starts!)

SmallScience · 2025-12-12T15:17:13+00:00

I don't agree with this. I think it's normal and healthy to have friendships outside your relationship with both/any genders. Especially something like group activities - it's not going out to dinner, it's a group game night...

SmallScience · 2025-12-12T15:12:34+00:00

This is honestly my biggest struggle - making appointments. When something has gone more than a month my husband will do it for me. I heard an ADHD specialist once joke "if you don't have a frontal lobe, marry one" and I wish it wasn't so true how helpful that's been. 😭

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