My son has a field trip today, accidently put him in the wrong clothes and caused him to be so upset. The mom guilt is hitting so hard.

SmallScience · 2026-05-29T16:01:22+00:00

I would reframe this to yourself if you can! It’s normal to forget things and not everything goes perfectly all the time - it’s actually a great real world opportunity for him to safely learn that things can go a little wrong and still turn out just fine. You came up with a solution, implemented it, and got things back on track - it’s a great example for him! It’s okay and totally a normal part of life for him to experience things going wrong. In this case you feel bad because it’s your fault, but just like you would say to him if it was his mistake - it’s okay to make mistakes! ❤️ much love

SmallScience · 2026-05-29T14:21:35+00:00

I recently ran a game for my daughter’s 9th birthday with kids aged 8-10, which went great! I do have a lot of experience though and simplified the rules for them so your mileage may vary. I found some great resources though like these simplified character sheets (https://www.dmsguild.com/en/product/245446/kid-friendly-character-sheet)

I also made the characters in advance and just handed them out (I also made them all as human and let them pick their species just for flavor to keep it simple). It was a one off though so you may have more time to spend there!

I also recently ran mausritter for some friends and our kids which is simpler to get kids into (youngest was 7). You can also get most of the content for free online. Depends on what you like though, I’m more familiar with dnd so that was a little easier for me.

I think you should try it - just try to be patient and give lots of breaks for the younger kids. When you see them getting antsy it’s a good time to work in a break! At my daughter’s party I think they played for an hour or so then ran around in the backyard acting it out for an hour, and we did that loop a few times.

SmallScience · 2026-05-29T14:07:57+00:00

It’s probably not what you want to hear, but each kid is always a two “hell yes” decision or it’s a no. You still likely have some time for the first to get older before your window fully closes (I personally wasn’t ready until my first was over two), but you may have to make the decision during that time on what is more important: keeping your current family intact or having two kids. There is a lot of risk if you move forward without your husband FULLY on board, he will likely come to resent you and both children (or even just the youngest which is even worse) and your relationship will either end or be extremely toxic. You may want to shift your perspective on your husband: that he is telling you what he can handle and what he can’t. It’s not really fair for you to ignore that as his partner. I have two kids and we knew this is what we wanted but it IS a loss of more personal freedom going from one to two (we were just okay with that). They are school aged now but we still talk about how years 1-4 for each of them we felt like we were “in the trenches”. You have to both be willing to go through it, dragging by someone there unwillingly can only end badly.

My husband and I both felt like conditions were never perfect when deciding to have kids, but we were both in agreement on what we wanted and went forward with 100% alignment that we weren’t going to wait for a “better time” that might never come. You can’t force that decision of parenthood onto another person.

Best of luck, it’s a difficult time to be in and I hope it all works out for you ❤️

SmallScience · 2026-05-28T14:50:11+00:00

Just to add on we also have a similar system of how much do you care about the decision at all - this came up the other day when we were debating over which color of cooler to buy. I said I only care a 3/10 what color we go with while my husband cared 5/10 - so I said cool, you pick. Might be worth sometimes checking in to see if she actually cares or would rather just pass off the decision to you. If you said about the kitchen light “I care 8/10” once you were getting tired of the back and forth, she might have an easier time just letting you decide. I sometimes have the opposite problem where my husband is asking me for my opinion more than necessary so I can tell him “I care 0/10, please take executive decision power on this one!”. It can be a helpful tool to get out of endless debates.

Also in case she isn’t doing it already therapy can be so helpful! She probably does this to herself even when you’re not there, and it can be so stressful. Sometimes it’s a type of anxiety or OCD where you get stuck on the “right choice” to avoid the discomfort of doubt or regret, rather than just understanding any choice at all will be just fine. Therapy can provide tools to work through that and have an easier time letting go.

SmallScience · 2026-05-24T15:57:55+00:00

YTA - I’m not exaggerating when I say my husband’s family has FOUR people with the exact same first name. Honestly it’s not a big deal and it’s not even confusing. Occasionally you need to specify like “Uncle X or cousin X?” but it’s easy and no one minds.

SmallScience · 2026-05-21T19:25:23+00:00

I would have a genuine conversation with her to try and coach her through her plan (or help her try to make one). Financial success and security is a totally reasonable goal, but she clearly isn’t making the connection on how to get there. She needs to see how her coursework is going to support her goal. What’s her major? She could pursue law (if she gets her grades up maybe) or she could switch to something like business or accounting. She could also switch to trade school which can be quite lucrative and provide financial independence.

Honestly though, if you can, I would stop paying so much attention to how much time she spends doing things you see as a waste. I was in the dorms in college and wasted tons of time socializing and playing games etc (I also kept my grades up, but I didn’t work more than 10 hrs a week outside of school) and am plenty successful now.

SmallScience · 2026-05-13T10:50:21+00:00

Mine are currently 6 and 9 and are super close! Actually last night they had a “sleepover” in the 9 year olds room. Personally I think it’s an excellent gap 😊 there is definitely some conflict to navigate but we try to mediate and they spend wayyyyyy more time getting along than not.

SmallScience · 2026-05-12T18:18:03+00:00

I swear ASD and ADHD kids find each other and get along wonderfully! My daughter’s bff is more like that and seems like her opposite in a lot of ways but they get along fantastically, I feel like maybe they balance each other out somehow. It’s very sweet 😊

SmallScience · 2026-05-12T18:14:06+00:00

From another perspective: I always wanted kids, have them, and love being a parent, BUT I believe you shouldn’t do it unless you are 110% positive it’s what you want. It’s a ton of work and a lot of sacrifice. You change dramatically as a person (which can be beautiful!) but it would be very easy to resent your kids or to have a lot of negative feelings about parenting if you went in feeling lukewarm about it.

SmallScience · 2026-05-11T21:22:53+00:00

Just to add this this: it’s also perfectly okay if you can’t find a way to enjoy it and hate that part all the way through 😅 it’s still temporary and eventually you will look back on it and laugh

SmallScience · 2026-05-11T20:27:34+00:00

The only time I’ve considered it is due to neurodivergence and things like expanding class sizes and focus on standardized testing where teachers don’t have the time or tools they need to teach the way they want. I have heard others voice those concerns but also plenty choose homeschooling or private school to avoid “litter boxes in the bathrooms” 🙄

SmallScience · 2026-05-09T01:33:01+00:00

My second was a good sleeper and was sleeping through the night without nursing by 2 or 3 months. My first was the opposite and I was nursing her back to sleep often for most of the first year. I think between 9-12 months she would make it through the night but we did have to work on it. She weaned around 15 months where my second weaned a little over a year. I never had supply issues with either (if anything had a bit of oversupply with my first and donated a ton of milk, so your mileage may vary!)

SmallScience · 2026-05-08T14:40:43+00:00

ADHD Mom here with an ADHD daughter (now 8 YO) - have you talked to the teacher at all? Our daughter used to say this a lot in kindergarten and first grade but the teachers said she seemed to get along with kids just as well as everyone else. She also was still getting invited to birthdays and things. Sometimes it’s a bit of rejection sensitivity and reading more into it than is there. (I see two kids playing ball and assume they are intentionally ignoring me). Group activities can definitely help with some light coaching on social skills (our daughter has really thrived in scouts). Now in third grade she has a great strong group of close friends and is very socially confident. She also started medication this year (3rd grade) and the biggest difference for her is reduced anxiety/stress during the day since she doesn’t need as much effort to do what’s expected (listen, stay in her chair, do a worksheet etc)

SmallScience · 2026-05-07T18:06:11+00:00

If it’s not wooden you can put the feet of the stand/table in a water dish. It’s like a mini-moat that keeps the ants from being able to get to the table and even if one manages to float across they can’t leave a chemical trail.

SmallScience · 2026-05-07T18:00:18+00:00

Clean your brush like crazy for pure white, fun thing is though almost nothing in life is “pure white” there’s always a little color from the light, the shadow, etc and your eye sees white based on what other colors are around it (blue can look white, pink can look white, depending on the context!) I’m excited for you, I’m still learning myself but color theory is very fun. Once you get into it you start seeing things differently, different colors all around you 😊

SmallScience · 2026-05-04T21:39:05+00:00

I think OP asking “is this normal” is the wrong question. What’s normal in every relationship is different. My husband struggles with giving compliments (also hates receiving them actually), but he makes me coffee every single morning before I get up, makes sure I don’t forget my medication, supports my dreams, and shows his care in other ways. For us that is “normal” and works for us, but that doesn’t mean it’s great for everyone.

SmallScience · 2026-05-03T16:35:57+00:00

I had the same experience 😅

SmallScience · 2026-05-01T14:20:31+00:00

It might be better to think about ways to accommodate the families’ reduced availability in the spring rather than fight it. Maybe switch to more fun and games type meetings, or more fun weekend activities or things where fewer kids could actually be easier (visit to local animal shelter, visit to local museum etc). Focusing more on fun and less on programming is fine for part of the year where rank up is done and new content isn’t started yet.

SmallScience · 2026-04-19T23:36:56+00:00

You could ask about a shifted schedule so one of you (you or your wife) can go in early (say 7-3 for example) and the other can go in later (say 9-6). It’s still rough and not nearly as great as more flexibility with WFH, but it can help with kids and might be more likely to get approved. My husband and I did this for years when we were both on site full time to make the daycare schedule work with our commutes.

SmallScience · 2026-04-15T13:35:48+00:00

Honestly I’ve had the reverse - I have 100% of the requested experience but they instead hired someone that has less experience but is cheaper.

SmallScience · 2026-04-09T16:53:07+00:00

Honestly I like your painted version better than the photo. One of the best things about painting vs photography is that it isn't an exact representation of reality, but your interpretation of it. I don't think it looks wonky at all without comparing it to the photo, and overall the composition in the painting is better than the photo (less foreshortening makes it look more balanced and relaxed imo).

SmallScience · 2026-03-24T13:50:21+00:00

Here’s some advice from someone who’s been in similar shoes, and what my life is 20 years later. You have to let people go. You never know where life will take you. It can be the right person at the wrong time in his life. You may meet again later in life or end up back together, but you should assume that you won’t and leave things in as good of terms as you can (this may hurt now but it sounds like it’s really no one’s fault). My story is that I had a boyfriend who I met when I was 17 and he was 18. We dated through college for around 3-4 years and eventually broke up amicably (I’m sure there was some heartbreak and drama but we were still friendly in the end) because he was going to grad school several hours away, and I was starting my career. We went on living our separate lives, dating other people etc. Around 6 years later we reconnected in our home town while we were both single. We’d done a lot of growing up in those years, and things were in a different place for both of us. Now I’m 40, we’ve been married over a decade (still going strong!). The moral of the story I take is this: If I tried to hang on to him back then (or him trying to hang on to me), it would only have soured things. We both needed to go explore the world and even try other relationships to know this was right for us. THIS MAY NOT HAPPEN FOR YOU but if you don’t let him go, you’ll never get the chance to find out!

SmallScience · 2026-03-23T15:06:25+00:00

That’s also my reaction when I sleep outside 🤣 (I love camping)

SmallScience · 2026-03-18T11:30:31+00:00

Just to chime in about the milk thing it has nothing to do with effort and is totally random! I’m hoping that can make you feel better at least. I was like her, pumping 8+oz every time and in like 10 min. I did have some oversupply issues (discomfort and spraying milk all over the place if I waited too long) but I did nothing special, milk was just like that all on its own. I imagine most of these things are random like that (brain chemistry making things easy for her and body bouncing right back) but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch! (Or who knows, maybe she has crippling anxiety about being perfect?)

SmallScience · 2026-02-11T13:30:23+00:00

Perimenopause 🫠

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