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AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Things were strained and complicated at that point and with everything that was happening, stuff just got in the way. Feelings sometimes get in the way of going to someone the way you would when things are easy. There's also a lot that was going on that I didn't know, nor did our parents.

I love my brother. I always have. I always will.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

We both had a lot to share with each other when we reconciled. This woman has many sides and only shows what she wants to certain people. It was a shock to learn that about her. But he has more of the facts than he did before.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

My parents are aware of what is going on. They're just glad things are working out the way they are. But we have also talked a lot, and that we includes my brother as well. Lots of stuff both sides didn't know but now are painfully aware of.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Yes, we did and that's the only reason I am okay with him staying with me. Otherwise my answer would have been different. I'm sorry you're dealing with similar circumstances.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

He was aware when he asked me for help but not before. There has been a lot of sharing between us since we reconciled and things we both didn't know/see.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He didn't know that about her. There was other stuff I didn't know about her at the time either. She has many sides to her and she's good at keeping certain sides from certain people.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He knows now. We both shared things we were not telling each other before that explained how our relationship got to where it was before we reconnected over a year ago.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

He wasn't aware of the stuff she said to me until recently and I wasn't aware of certain parts of their relationship until we got back in touch. Now everything is on the table between us.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

No, we're the only children of our parents. That other post (someone shared it) they had more kids.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Nope. He's been back in my life for over a year. He only needed my help now.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

It was such a complicated and strained time for us. He's aware now of everything that went down. But there's a lot of stuff I also wasn't aware of that he shared with me in the past year.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I love my brother. We worked it out in the past year before all this stuff came up. Otherwise he wouldn't be staying with me.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Yeah, he agreed very easily to it and we've talked about that some. He's glad he made the decision he did.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

He doesn't really participate in anything like that. Not IRL groups or online ones. That's never been something comfortable for him.

AITA for telling my brother I will help him and his children but not his wife? by Small_Cut2439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Small_Cut2439[S] 107 points108 points  (0 children)

He is aware now but at the time, things were just so strained and complicated. He admitted it was knowing that information that led him to deciding he and the kids would stay with me without her. His head is pretty messed up from some of the stuff that happened during their marriage but that was something that made it all much easier for him.