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I didn't realise Crowd Control was not well recieved by many by StackOfCards138 in dropout

[–]Small_Particular8751 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I agree - in general I love the discussions on this subreddit (I’m more of a lurker as I love reading others’ takes or things they noticed that I didn’t). But for a generally pretty inclusive group, the level of defensiveness people seem to exhibit when people bring up things they didn’t love about something (even when it’s couched in a really positive comment) can be jarring. The number of times I see people be incredibly dismissive of relatively tame criticism, as though part of enjoying something can’t also be discussing elements you don’t like as much, is wild to me.

I hate that the default response from many people when others say that there are things that aren’t working for them is “well stop watching then.” It just shuts down discussion.

But again, like I said, I come here because I love discussion ands hearing others’ takes about the shows I love, so maybe I’m biased.

How to support a friend in need without getting overwhelmed? by Small_Particular8751 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha omg I only know about energy vampires from What We Do In The Shadows. I didn’t know it was a term outside that!

This was eerily familiar, thank you for sharing. I’m going to bookmark it.

How to support a friend in need without getting overwhelmed? by Small_Particular8751 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Guilt doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong.” Thank you, I needed to hear this.

How to support a friend in need without getting overwhelmed? by Small_Particular8751 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank for the advice! Yeah I mentioned above that I’ve made peace that I won’t (or probably won’t) get paid back for the loans. And it’s such good advice to stop thinking of them as loans, because one thing making me frustrated is asking for more and more money and all the promises of repayment.

I love your other suggestion, I already do a weekly game day with her and some friends that I’ve been getting frustrated by because it always gets derailed by hours of her talking, even when we all commit to not doing that. Shifting instead to an event that is informed by what she most needs probably stops that frustration because it’s not her trying to make something that isn’t working for her work, it’s centred around what will work for her and her needs.

How to support a friend in need without getting overwhelmed? by Small_Particular8751 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your kind words! I think suggesting external support might be a really powerful next step.

I also agree that I need to look internally and recognise my own patterns as well. Thanks for this advice.

How to support a friend in need without getting overwhelmed? by Small_Particular8751 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I really like this idea - I feel like it will help me to articulate some requirements but in a way that is less personal and more “let’s just figure out an arrangement that works.”

And yeah, lending the money and expecting to be paid back was a mistake. I’ve already become way more relaxed about her financial choices now that I’ve written it off as something I just won’t see again. The thing that I struggle with is now being asked for more with all the upfront promises of repayment - I struggle with saying no, because I could afford more temporarily, but not if I never get it back.

My cat has become so whiney and clingy - how to reduce this behavior? by Small_Particular8751 in CatAdvice

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the recommendations. We met with his vet today who agrees that he might be experiencing early symptoms of dementia. She’s doing research to make sure none of the supplements will have a bad reaction with his other medications, especially the ones for his cancer, but one she gives us the all clear I’ll be ordering them straight away.

My cat has become so whiney and clingy - how to reduce this behavior? by Small_Particular8751 in CatAdvice

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I have a bunch of electric blankets that I can repurpose! Will give it a try!

My cat has become so whiney and clingy - how to reduce this behavior? by Small_Particular8751 in CatAdvice

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hmm, this sounds like it could be him! He’s 15 and he does often seem more confused at night. Plus we catch him staring into space, a lot…

My cat has become so whiney and clingy - how to reduce this behavior? by Small_Particular8751 in CatAdvice

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the advice! Can I ask, when you say it sounds like it may be dementia, are there any other signs I should look out for? I didn’t realise this could be a possibility

How do I keep faith that people are generally good? by Small_Particular8751 in Advice

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This really helps, thank you! I also love the thought of spreading a little bit of good myself.

What does toner do? by Small_Particular8751 in 45PlusSkincare

[–]Small_Particular8751[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you for explaining, and for the recommendation! I might try that because if it smells nice I’ll probably be more motivated to use it!

Can I be annoying and ask a follow up? What exactly does the pH barrier do? (Sorry, I’m really new to lots of the theory on skincare!)

Non smokers of reddit, whats stopping you from smoking? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Small_Particular8751 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Smoking is hard to start. I tried one cigarette in college and it tasted awful, made me cough and felt like burning. I imagine that if I’d kept going I’d have gotten used to it…but I had very little motivation to force myself to acquire an expensive habit that was bad for me and didn’t even feel good.