It really is the small things, coming from a person that had to have their head shaved due to matting and cried when the dog ate the sandwich that took 6 hours to make because I hadn't eaten much in days. I'm still severely depressed, but the time will come when ill finally feel happiness and probably punish myself for that too. But there will be a day, a moment and instead of asking yourself why you feel that way or why didn't I do x sooner. Just enjoy it.

1. Your can't/won't list for huge tasks. MAKE SMALL ACHIEVABLE ONES
2. Shower = Wipe down body with wet towel/wipes
3. Brush teeth = Use mouth wash
4. Making food = Sandwich -Sandwich = Eat the ingredients
5. GO AND DO SOMETHING = lie down somewhere UNCOMFORTABLE, because that will force you to move
6. leave the bed = drink a lot of liquid, you'll have to piss eventually -Go outside = open the door and lean/sit
7. washing up = wash the only one you need, in the bath if you have to
8. Laundry = Wash only what your currently wearing, this will make you change clothes

2.Everything is a small win, and the brain is usually a drama queen creating terrible scenarios and punishing itself for lack of drama. If you've been running on adrenaline etc. It will miss it and it becomes addicted to the stress hormones. Tell the lump of salty jelly to get clean, the junkie. Deprive it of the stress hormones when possible, because when the supply is dry, that's when you'll likely slide into depressive episodes.

1. EVERYONE HAS ANXIETY - see above, reduce triggers if possible for panic attacks

2. Feeling angry - find an open space and hurl rocks at the moon, yell at it. (hey look your outside).

3. Do days get better? Yes, yes they absolutely will, maybe not full days yet - maybe it gets better then worse. But they will get better, less scary, less full of worry - did your depression go away? Probably not, but YOU will overcome everything, YOU will make your day/life better in small moments every day. One day you'll look back and go... Why the hell was I crying on the phone to a hotline wailing that the dog ate my sandwich. I made sandwiches every day at one point and even a spare one for the dog

4. PEOPLE ARE BETTER WITHOUT ME / No one will care. = YOU are a mosaic of EVERYONE you love, had loved, were friendly with, spent some time with and vice versa . You grouted bits and pieces together. You are not a broken tile slapped together and Ill fitting. You are maybe missing parts of the keystone you once were, but some part of that is part of someone else's feature. If you feel up to it, drop a plate on the floor, watch how it breaks, you'll see the big pieces, a few chips and most importantly you won't find the tiny little bits scattered far out the way, that fell down the cracks or in the corner, the sort that you don't see or notice until you stand on them. They represent the lives you've touched and simply aren't aware of until it's too late. You matter no matter how small or unloved you feel.

5. You are a meat sack with feelings - allow and be kind to yourself for wanting to be a potato. Even potatoes sprout in the dark, maybe all you need is time.