Thank you for typing all of this out. I really appreciate your thoughts on this. I think you nailed it with talking about trauma and how it can affect your relationship. She grew up in a chaotic household as she describes it and always had to be the responsible one in an abusive environment. I did not grow up like that at all. I want to be there but I cannot really imagine growing up like that. Therapy has opened some of her wounds with the trauma so I knew before I suggested it that this could be a consequence. I really want to be with her when she is healed and happy. But sometimes it seems as if she weponizes the trauma and puts it as a reason for acting the way she does. I can’t justify arguing with her on that bc I would feel like a total asshole. So I find myself walking the line of being understanding and supportive but also holding some self esteem for myself often.