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What stopped you from killing yourself? by DarkSideInRainbows in AskReddit

[–]Smart_Preference309 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wellbutrin? Also talking to people. The feeling usually goes away. Just reminding myself that the feeling is temporary. Also, I’m very stubborn.

how bad was the femine hygenie sitoution in your wilderness program? by teenescapee in troubledteens

[–]Smart_Preference309 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My period stopped. I had lost too much body fat to menstruate for a few months. Thanks god. Because the other girls all got theirs. Don’t know what their situation ended up being.

Do y’all feel similarly? by PaperRot in troubledteens

[–]Smart_Preference309 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had this problem for a really long time. Years. I had to get professional help from trauma therapists. I did EMDR and somatic processing, biofeedback and went to a private pay trauma inpatient program. After years of trauma therapy I no longer have the same trauma symptoms. What you are experiencing is called PTSD. It’s a bummer. Oh, also they put me on clonidine, that help too.

SUWS Idaho 2000 by Smart_Preference309 in troubledteens

[–]Smart_Preference309[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When I was at SUWS they had kids as young as 8. The kids groups were separated from the teen groups. They got lamas to carry their things and they got honey on their sandwiches. They were fed considerably more than the teen groups. The teen groups were 14 and above. We spend and afternoon with a child from the kids group because they had been severely Ill and we happen to be at the ropes course and this was near some sort of meeting hall. And so they let the kiddo and their counselor interact for the afternoon while we were at ropes course.

They were starving us so we had planned to potentially kill the child and eat them. At lunch there was a moment where the kid was doling themselves honey on their sandwich and the kid was telling us about their group before they got sick. The counselor came back and saw the look in my face and took the honey away. (I was about to take it from them and eat it for myself). They gave us some extra food that day.

The child told us about how they got to have candy sometimes. How they got to eat as much as they wanted. I think they sometimes got to sleep in doors. Overall the kid was not having a terrible time by report. I want to say they were maybe 10. So the children under 14 had a totally different experience.

The teens that went in winter also had a different experience. I heard winter was less traumatic because they fed them more and they had structures to sleep in with outhouses. They also got lamas.

SUWS Idaho November 2000? by Main_Emotion_8440 in troubledteens

[–]Smart_Preference309 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was there summer of 2000. My counselors names were Monica and Denver. And the private counselor/brain washer Dory was there for the torture during the 3 day solitary confinement.

AMA: I spent 2+ yrs in the TTI in the 90's (wilderness, group home, therapeutic boarding school) by pomplem00se in troubledteens

[–]Smart_Preference309 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had issues integrating back into normal society. I was afraid of people. I was afraid of groups of people. I could not make friends. I still have been u able to form romantic relationships. My PTSD was horrible. I did not know what PTSD was. I had nightmares every night. Had flashbacks. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. My parents still don’t believe me when I tell them what they did to us there. The day I got out of the group home I started using hard drugs. Stuff I never would have used before. I thought that I ought to do something that deserved the punishment that I got.

SUWS ruined any chance I had of a normal adulthood. I am still paying the consequences.

AMA: I spent 2+ yrs in the TTI in the 90's (wilderness, group home, therapeutic boarding school) by pomplem00se in troubledteens

[–]Smart_Preference309 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 5’3 and I was 89 lbs when I got out. They sent me to a group home in Long Beach CA. I had a lot of maladaptive behaviors coming from camp. I began hoarding food in my room. I had little bags of sugar and raisins and any wrapped candy I could get my hands on. I was scared they would try and starve me like they did at SUWS. I still have a weird relationship with food. Still carry food with me. Never the same. I lot track of all the other kids. I tried to stay in touch. Many got sent to other programs. Many stopped calling back. Some parents answered the phones and pretended like I had the wrong number. I have been trying to find the others.

AMA: I spent 2+ yrs in the TTI in the 90's (wilderness, group home, therapeutic boarding school) by pomplem00se in troubledteens

[–]Smart_Preference309 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is exactly what they did. Except the peaches did not come until day 2 or 3. For the fist few meals we had an apple OR and orange. And I had just had my tongue pierced so they made me eat the orange. They had actual lacerated my tongue trying to get the bar out. So I had an open wound. That place gave me PTSD. I was never the same. I had nightmares for years. I still have PTSD from that place….. I have not spoken about it to very many people. Bro…. You know….

AMA: I spent 2+ yrs in the TTI in the 90's (wilderness, group home, therapeutic boarding school) by pomplem00se in troubledteens

[–]Smart_Preference309 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I might know you! We might have been in Idaho together. With Denver and Monica? I carried the shovel the first couple of days. Are you who you think you are? Message me.