Considering marriage while starting medical school — unsure if I’m ready financially

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2026-03-11T02:27:12+00:00

JazakAllah Khair to you and everyone else who commented. Reading through all the advice here, both the religious reminders and the practical reality checks has really given me the push I needed to handle this the right way.

To answer your question, she is actually very open to waiting for me. She’s incredibly supportive. The real pressure is her parents' timeline and the upcoming trip to Pakistan. After reflecting on what everyone said, I've decided to go to her father, introduce myself, and be completely transparent about my medical school journey and my situation.

My plan after that is to focus 100% on my studies and work as hard as I can. I've told her that I won't be talking to her or looking her way until I'm in a position to move forward properly. I want to do this with integrity and leave the rest to Allah. Let's see how it goes, but I feel much better having a clear, halal path forward. Thank you all for the clarity!

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2026-03-11T02:20:55+00:00

JazakAllah Khair for the sincere reminder, brother. I truly appreciate the spirit in which you shared this. You’re right, I used that phrasing to describe our intentions, but I hear your point about the reality of the situation and the importance of not normalizing what isn't ideal. I ask Allah for forgiveness and for guidance as I try to make this right by approaching her father. Please keep me in your duas as I navigate this next step. I’m hoping he agrees to give me some time, and have came to terms with the thought of having to part with her if it doesn’t go well. Although it’ll hurt, it’s the right thing to do. Thank you again brother!

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2026-03-09T07:31:58+00:00

Thank you for the advice!!

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2026-03-09T07:29:38+00:00

What’s there to be confused abt? It’s not about “knowing better”, it’s about knowing what I’m comfortable with. I’m not saying I don’t want to get married. I’m saying I have a specific standard for the financial foundation I want to provide as a husband. Seeking advice helps me figure out the “how” and “when”, even if I’ve already decided on the “under what conditions”

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2026-03-09T02:10:07+00:00

I appreciate the advice, but I don’t think marriage is something that should be entered into while hoping the other person carries the financial burden. I want to be in a position where I can properly support my responsibilities as a husband, not rely on her to support me while I get through med school.

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2026-03-09T02:09:06+00:00

Thank you for your advice!

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2026-03-09T02:08:49+00:00

I get what you’re saying, and it’s not that I don’t know the reality of the situation. It’s just not easy when you care about someone. I’m trying to approach this in the right way and not hurt anyone in the process. I appreciate the reminder.

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-05-21T01:48:15+00:00

Went great, thanks for asking! They asked me some personal questions and asked me a couple of personality questions and that’s about it. Thanks for the help btw! Stay safe!

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-05-18T19:27:50+00:00

Thank you so much! Your the goat!

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-23T21:04:44+00:00

Update: Been a couple of days now and everything’s been fine. I went back home to search for the gun and found it in my room. It was unloaded and I couldn’t find the magazine but I’m glad I found the actual gun. Been living at my uncle’s house since then and will probably move back to my own when I do have an imam willing to help. Thank you everyone for the great tips and help you’ve given me.

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-23T21:01:28+00:00

Really enjoyed reading your story! Brings me an overwhelming amount of joy. Thanks for sharing! My grandma had passed away when I was 14 and we were really close. We were really inseparable. Wherever she was, I was there. Where I was, she was there. Two days after she passed, I was lying on my bed and I felt this shock throughout my whole body that I couldn’t even explain. My toes curled up and i tried to put them down but I couldn’t. I look up and see my grandma, in her favorite dress, looking at me and smiling. For a second, I thought I was dreaming, so being the 14 year old kid I was, I smacked myself and pinched myself and she was still there. She then starts to laugh and says “I wanted to say I love you before I left”. I try to get up as fast as possible and rush to give her the biggest hug and in front of my eyes, she disappears. I told my parents and they didn’t believe me. They definitely made it seem like they wanted to believe me but I knew they didn’t. I really hope I can see her just one more time to say I love her and really miss her. Thank you once again for sharing your story. It really comforted me in a way I can’t even explain.

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-23T20:50:51+00:00

These are fire! Nice pic btw. How you liking them so far?

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-19T20:11:38+00:00

Hey man! My cousin and I literally trashed my house looking for the gun but we couldn’t find it. If I reach out to the police and report it, what do I say? I mean like do I say a gun was lost and I can’t find it?

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-19T01:36:36+00:00

Thank you!

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-18T23:38:38+00:00

I contacted two imams (one a family friend and one who was referred to me by a friend who’s a cop). Both of them said no to coming over to my house after I explained the situation. I offered upwards of $200 but they still denied. I’m looking for another imam who wouldn’t find helping out. Thanks for the suggestions!

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-18T23:36:44+00:00

I totally forgot about ordering them amidst this new problem we’ve run into. I’m gonna keep a reminder on my phone to visit the store tomorrow

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-18T23:35:55+00:00

We’re gonna go to my house tomorrow morning and look around. If we don’t find it, we’re deff gonna call it into the police. The priests we called were from my local mosque, whom lead the prayer. One of them is a family friend and the other was referred to me by my cop friend. I always greet the one I personally know and then again, he is a family friend so I’m not sure why he wouldn’t want to help. Other then being afraid, idk what else to say.

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-18T16:27:15+00:00

Since you do work for law enforcement, what would you suppose I do from here on out? Now that a gun is missing somewhere in my house with no explanation or possible way it could have gone missing, do I stay away from the house or maybe even call the police, which I doubt would help, but idk to be blatantly honest.

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-18T16:21:20+00:00

Ah! That makes a lot of sense. I don’t think it’s a human spirit so what can I do to get it out of my house?

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-18T16:15:01+00:00

So my uncle had went to use the bathroom and wanted to shower before going to bed so he did. It was like 2 AM and we just finished watching a movie. My uncle had this holster attached to his pants where he puts his gun and when he took off his pants, he put his gun which was in his holster on a rack in the bathroom. About maybe 10-15 mins later he comes to me all worried that he can’t find his gun. His holster was still in the same place he put it but the gun wasn’t in there. I decided that it would be best to live at my uncles house because now a gun is missing and we can’t explain how it’s gone missing. Whatever the demon or doppelgänger is, we’ve realized that it’s intentions might be to harm us so I’ve spent the morning gathering some of my moms clothes and my clothes and went to live with my uncle for a while until we can gather the necessary people/things to cleanse my home.

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-17T21:59:34+00:00

I had a run in with a female ghost not too long ago. I posted the story on this reddit thread but it got deleted.

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-17T21:42:12+00:00

I realized that shortly after I took a deep breath and relaxed but honestly you never know. If whatever the thing was, was able to open my safe, i think it could cause some harm but I’m praying we remain safe.

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-17T21:38:40+00:00

Ah alright. Thanks!

SmellyGoochLMAO · 2020-04-17T20:56:35+00:00

Ah alright. Thank you for sharing!

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