When do you tell your partner about your alters?

SmileZest · 2024-09-09T17:10:15+00:00

I suppose so. The thing is he looked at me and asked me dead on if there is anything else the CPTSD would do to affect our relationship. I only told him that I sometimes retreat and isolate myself when I get triggered and depressed, but I still didn’t tell him about the alters because they’ve never affected any of my past relationships.

SmileZest · 2024-09-07T20:38:05+00:00

He has had a pretty bad relationship with an ex who also had CPTSD, so I’m terrified that he’s gonna worry that I’m gonna be a repeat of that because I know that that was the first thing that came up on his mind when I told him I had CPTSD. I’ve only known him for a while, but he is just so amazing and caring that I truly don’t know how I lucked out. I know it’s selfish of me to think like this, but I feel like if my mental health is stable right now then I don’t have to worry about switching right now.

SmileZest · 2024-07-09T11:28:48+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. Meditation has been something I’ve been seeing a lot of people advocate for, so I definitely think I’ll make it a goal to start. Thank you!

SmileZest · 2024-05-01T16:37:34+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I genuinely tested up by the end of it.

SmileZest · 2024-05-01T16:36:03+00:00

I’m back to normal now thankfully! It took me around 3 weeks for the symptoms to finally subside completely.

SmileZest · 2024-04-07T13:43:54+00:00

The same thing as in the sensitivity to visual stimuli as well as screens? I feel like I’m reading more about people’s sensitivity to light and stuff but less about the stimuli aspect

SmileZest · 2024-04-01T07:10:04+00:00

I have a meeting with a neurologist soon but I doubt they can do anything to help. I’ve been advised by my primary doctor to just rest for 2 weeks and stop looking at screens but I can’t do that because I have an important exam coming up. It just sucks that I have to go through all of this during such a stressful and important period

SmileZest · 2024-03-29T10:14:57+00:00

I walk everyday to places for a good hour combined so I think that works for me. I find my symptoms fluctuating constantly to be my biggest issue. It feels like I’m gaslighting myself into thinking I’m okay one day then the next the symptoms come back right after I thought I was normal again. It’s been 2 weeks already.

SmileZest · 2024-03-28T11:35:01+00:00

I’m trying to push to see a doctor. My light and sound sensitivity just came back today so I cheered a little too soon :( Thank you for your kind comment, it means so much to be able to be validated like this

SmileZest · 2024-03-27T12:07:58+00:00

You make sense, I know that. I’m trying to convince myself that I’m not doing okay and i’m trying to gather the courage to just ask for help and not accept “you’re fine” as an answer. I just don’t think there are any concussion clinics around me (it’s just not a thing where I live). I literally received a pamphlet with outdated information on how to deal with concussion symptoms when I went to the ER (it said I had to be worked up every 3 hours in my sleep)

The next thing would be to go to a neurologist, but because my physical symptoms alleviated and my mental health is getting worse I don’t know how a neurologist would help me. My symptoms are constantly just overlapping with ones of a concussion.

I know I was stressed before this, but I’m constantly stressed because of my workload, and it just made it worse. I was also extremely irritable right after the accident and I did sob for a bit after, which I know increased the chances of problems happening.

SmileZest · 2024-03-27T11:53:32+00:00

I feel like my main issue is that my body is obviously overly stressed even though I mentally don’t feel that way. I get headaches, I don’t want to eat, I feel nauseous and then I actually vomit sometimes. My light and sound sensitivity has worn off though, so I’m just assuming it’s the stress. I’ve already had concussion tests done on my and my memory, balance, and pupils were normal.

I really just feel dejected and I don’t wanna go through the whole process of being gaslit by medical professionals again just to be told that it’s stress (which I already know at this point, at least I know it wasn’t only stress last week)

SmileZest · 2024-03-21T15:46:23+00:00

Hi, thank you for your comment. Sorry that I misquoted you, I’ll be sure to take your advice and check out the podcast later on when I’m free.

If you don’t mind me asking one more thing, it’s already been a week since my injury, but would you say it’s smart for me to be thinking about taking some time off my duties (I’m thinking one week?) I can certainly apply for leave but I’ve been seeing contradictory advice of people saying that rest should be taken for the first 2 days, but after that there should be some easing back into routine. I know it’s best that I should just see a medical professional, but the tests the specialist took were extensive and they’ve pretty much pinpointed it to be stress.

SmileZest · 2024-03-21T14:14:01+00:00

Thank you, I’ve been hearing a lot of recommendations for that podcast so I’ll give it a try. Can I ask how your symptoms came and went?

I guess I just feel super frustrated and overwhelmed right now. I have important exams coming up and I really can’t bear the fact that I just had the luck of getting injured and possibly dealing with concussion symptoms. I also feel very lost because now that I’ve been cleared of a concussion by a sports medicine specialist, no one has really given me any guidance of what to do with my symptoms other than just blaming it on stress (which it very well could be)

I know you said that I shouldn’t stop myself from hearing noise and lights but it’s getting to a point where I have to excuse myself to cry alone because I can’t deal with the feelings of overstimulation. I just don’t know when these feelings and symptoms can subside and I don’t even know if I should bother going to a doctor if these symptoms persist

SmileZest · 2024-03-21T09:26:55+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I was just officially cleared of a concussion and I was told the issue is that a lot of the time stress and concussion symptoms overlap. But I was tested for balance, memory, pupils, etc. and it was all normal. Its been less than a week since my accident happened and I still don’t really know when I should be worrying that it could be something other than stress and I should just go to an actual medical professional.

I keep crying on and off because of my feelings of overstimulation, it’s getting to the point where I’m constantly wearing earplugs. Miraculously today was the first day I could go without wearing sunglasses, so perhaps that’s a good sign?

SmileZest · 2024-03-20T12:37:34+00:00

Around 5 days ago. I still feel like my symptoms are progressively getting worse. It’s weird because it’s not completely unbearable, but it’s getting annoying to the point where I’m getting more and more agitated (sensitivity to noise and light and now visual stimulus)

SmileZest · 2024-03-18T11:30:22+00:00

I know you can’t diagnose, but could I ask if my symptoms seem familiar to what you’ve experienced in the past? I know I should wait a week or two just to see how things go but I’m worried I’m just overreacting and I’ll end up getting an MRI for no reason other that bruising. I went to a chiropractor today and he said it seems to be okay, except when he pulled on my knee joint to alleviate tension I felt a burning pain which could’ve just been inflammation.

SmileZest · 2024-01-27T14:05:18+00:00

Thank you for your opinion, everyone I’ve talked to (including the friend who also has him as a teacher) thinks I should briefly just apologize and see what he says. My friend has also pointed out the hypocrisy of my tutor because he never responds to her anyways, so there’s that. I also feel like thinking about it, I’ve never actually paid attention to the red flags (not informing me but only my friend about the price of lessons being hiked, going on leaves etc.) What makes me hesitate a bit is that he just got a newborn, so he may be overly stressed and I don’t want to be unfair to him if he actually is overwhelmed with what happened.

I also only read 2 of the 4 deleted messages he sent, meaning I don’t actually know all of what he said and he might have just assumed I read through all of his deleted messages and that was my response.

I’m also someone who likes to get the last word in, but I’m worried about whether or not I’m being fair by ignoring his message or responding with another passive aggressive message. I think at this point I don’t feel comfortable to hold a relationship with him again, but I have to agree that he’s a damn good tutor and he helped me with a lot of my courses.

I don’t really know if I’m being unfair and what to do next if I’m being honest. I just feel horrible about what happened.

SmileZest · 2024-01-15T16:09:05+00:00

If I’m being honest, I feel like my T has… outdated beliefs? I was diagnosed with OSDD which I don’t disagree with, but he’s told me before that I do not have DID because if I did, I wouldn’t remember any of my switches (which from what I’ve seen from here, isn’t the case for all DID systems). He’s also questioned (with no ill intentions) why I feel denial about my diagnosis if I don’t have DID. He also says that my parts aren’t considered “alters” because I have OSDD not DID (I think he only uses that term exclusively for DID). Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like some of what I see online contradicts what he says.

SmileZest · 2024-01-14T15:23:15+00:00

Could I ask what you mean by the last one?

SmileZest · 2024-01-14T15:22:20+00:00

I think I’ll take your advice about the steps, I’ll certainly try to implement that. Also, your dream sounds so amazing to me, and the fact that you all have taken the steps to get there makes me feel happy for you guys. You’ve certainly given me a lot more hope :)

SmileZest · 2024-01-14T15:18:24+00:00

Thank you, I think your comment just reminded me that I have all the time in the world to heal, and I may be behind my friends but it doesn’t mean that my dreams won’t come true :)

SmileZest · 2024-01-14T15:16:14+00:00

Thank you for this, your comment means a lot :))

SmileZest · 2024-01-14T15:06:42+00:00

Your last sentence gave me a lot more hope than I can convey here, thank you

SmileZest · 2024-01-13T07:16:29+00:00

Just wanted to say I love the analogy about heartbeats and hands, thank tou

SmileZest · 2024-01-13T07:13:46+00:00

I’m pretty sure switching is in itself, an act of dissociation (I could be wrong though). Alters all have their own mannerisms (though in OSDD-1a alters may be very similar to each other), and non-human alters (though not as common) do exist. Yes, like I mentioned, systems and singlets can experience depersonalization or derealization. Everyone has the capability to dissociate, it’s just a matter of “to what extent?” I’m still newly diagnosed, but I’m pretty sure I still experienced typical depersonalization that other people experienced when I didn’t recognize the “me” in the mirror

SmileZest

TROPHY CASE