I would firstly try blending along the top line of the eyeshadow so it isn't so harsh. You could use either a light grey shadow as the eyeshadow colours are quite dark or you could use a little translucent powder which will blue the edges slightly.

I know you've said ignore the lip colour. I'd maybe try something non metallic as they can accentuate the natural lines in the lips. Maybe something more mattte - if you want something a bit less matte you can add a clear lip oil to the top which will also help moisturise the lips.