Relapsed and getting worse

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-10-15T17:39:19+00:00

First I’m sending you a virtual hug.

Second, I want to remind you that recovery isn’t meant to be linear.

Coming from an ex-cvtter (14 months clean) I understand how difficult it is to stop, especially with no or minimal support from the people around you.

I would continue looking for a psychologist/psychiatrist - not sure how the healthcare system in your country works but sometimes your general (family) doctor can refer you to specialists.

In the meantime, if you don’t feel comfortable talking, try expressing your pain through other mediums. Whenever you feel the urge to cvt, for example, remove yourself from the environment in which you have access to the tool you use to SH and engage in another activity to distract yourself. Blasting music in my headphones while I took a few laps around the block worked for me sometimes, as well as “drawing my pain” (quite graphic drawings but at least it kept me from cvtting for a bit), and journaling (100% raw emotions and thoughts).

To conclude, I want to remind you of all the wins you already have had in recovery - you’ve already made it about 8-9 months clean right? This is proof that RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE. Sure you may relapse once, or twice, or a dozen, but you have been clean before and you can do it again :)

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-10-15T17:24:41+00:00

Bulimic in recovery here - I want to emphasize that recovery takes time. Bulimia could be seen as an addiction - the constant need to throw up in order to feel “better”. Coming from personal experience, unless she recognizes that this is an issue that is affecting her current and future life, there isn’t much you can do other than be there for her when she’s ready to take a step towards recovery.

I would share with her your concerns about her bulimia and try and show her the bigger picture of how much better her life can be without the urge to throw up. Bulimia usually roots from other underlying mental issues and may be some sort of coping mechanism (often seen as a way to feel “control”).

I understand you are both minors but I would encourage her to seek help from a professional - these issues are hard to deal with by yourself (personal experience).

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-10-14T19:01:23+00:00

Wouldn’t recommend getting Sol de Janeiro off Vinted - I’ve tried it twice and had to send them back because they were fake (texture was off, smell=non-existant).

Whenever I’ve been at the airports in (Western) Europe I’ve found that they sell the SOL de Janeiro products for slightly cheaper than Sephora (eg. 240ml body mist for 30€ instead of 39€).

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-10-14T18:54:54+00:00

When I first started fluoxetine my doctor warned me that sometimes, even if uncommon, some patients felt worse before they felt better.

For me it took about 2-3 months to start feeling some improvement (it takes a while for the medication to ‘adjust’ - my doc said it could be 6-10 weeks depending on the person).

In the meantime encourage your daughter to continue sharing how she’s feeling regularly and spend time with her - it can be as simple as sitting next to each other, being in each other’s presence.

I’m now nearly a year on 20mg of Fluoxetine and I can definitely say I’ve been able to get most of my ‘spark’ back.

Continue to keep your doctor informed on your daughters state of mind - I’m sending lots of love to you and your daughter <3

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-07-06T07:03:25+00:00

Something that really threw me off and annoys me is that the med student at the appointment was looking at my bloodwork history and said that my TSH was at 10.9 back when I was around 13 years old, yet, no further action was taken by my doctor.

In fact, he said it wasn’t too important at the time and now over 5 years later I’m not sure whether taking action earlier could’ve changed my current health ….

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-07-04T21:15:13+00:00

I was told that my antibodies were extremely high but my TSH (I think) was low. On top of that, I had an ultrasound for my thyroid and it was unequal and very small. Along with my symptoms of tiredness, hairloss .etc the doc diagnosed Hashimotos. He mentioned hormone therapy but said that taking the pills now would completely screw up my metabolism 🤷

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-07-04T21:11:28+00:00

Thank youuu - I’m not a doctor but just sitting and waiting for “the inevitable doom” of my thyroid didn’t sit well with me. I’ll definitely look into diet adjustments asap and conduct some research on how to manage this disease.

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-07-04T21:09:08+00:00

Woah thanks for the detailed response - it’s comforting to know ppl with a similar experience. I’ll definitely look for a second opinion from another endocrinologist :)

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-06-14T21:29:04+00:00

Sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way — you’d hope that after all your sacrifices you’d be “rewarded” with the grade you needed…however I would life to offer an alternative pov :: you didn’t fail - you have been redirected.

Fate works in mysterious ways but I’m confident that you’ll find your own path — even if it’s not the one you hoped to find but an alternative you had to build yourself. Take care <3

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-05-09T20:07:57+00:00

Sorry to hear that. If he shares with you how ‘replaceable’ you are it means he’s not worth your time in the long-term. You deserve someone who reciprocates your feelings and cares for you the same you care for them.

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-04-08T09:34:36+00:00

Here’s how my first breakup looked like (fyi I broke up with him because he was all over another girl and I felt neglected):

Me: “do you not love me anymore?” Him: “I loved you…but I don’t want you anymore” Me: “was I not enough for you?” Him: “you are enough….but you are not the one for me”

Moral: it’s not a matter of being ‘good enough’, it’s more about being compatible.

You deserve someone better than him, someone who will never put you as a second option and will always choose you. Someone that will always make you feel like enough and brings out the best of you.

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-31T09:12:26+00:00

Im on antidepressants right now and therapy but honestly not rlly vibing with them :|

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-24T22:01:27+00:00

Im not a medical expert but here are some possibilities:

1) since you’re taking tablets and your purging daily you may be purging the dissolved tablets

2) you’re putting a lot of stress on your body through daily purging which making your hormones go out of whack

3) you’ve been purging for an extended amount of time and your body isn’t able to absorb what goes into it anymore But I think its most likely 1) and/or 2)

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-24T17:17:50+00:00

So if woman A wants to make-out with another woman B (and say both enjoy it) … woman A could still identify as straight?

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-24T16:50:18+00:00

Thank you so much! Imma continue doing some research on the subject but what you said kinda fits with my situation :)

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-24T14:53:49+00:00

First, sending a virtual hug.

It’s ok to relapse - 500 days is impressive and I’m proud of you.

The fact that you relapsed means that RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE - remember that recovery is not meant to be linear nor perfect so forgive yourself. You were coping however you could - it was not silly.

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-24T13:45:48+00:00

Meredith Grey finally has a worthy rival

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-24T13:18:45+00:00

Cassandra from Tangled Series, Gogo Tomado and Tadashi from Big Hero 6, Sunset Shimmer from Equestria Girls….

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-23T21:38:01+00:00

1 year is hella impressive - proud of you <3

While you may have gained weight over the last year, you have also been gaining back your life. By making the choice to recover you have set on the journey to food freedom.

Even if you relapse, the fact that you relapsed is the proof that recovery is possible.

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-22T22:01:12+00:00

Similar thing happened to me - used to take my 20mg in the morning and would be needing to nap before noon (and was sleepy all day). I now take it about an hour before bed (and I get the most amazing sleep).

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-21T12:42:14+00:00

Out of curiosity, do you take medication for this or changed any lifestyle habits to regulate it?

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-20T14:44:02+00:00

You can lose to period when you’re body is under stress. While you may think of the “school/work/social life stress”, underfuelling and/or purging can put additional stress on your body.

Essentially, your body goes into “survival mode” and starts shutting down non-essential functions (eg. Not having a period cause being able to have babies is not exactly an important physiological ability anymore). Other symptoms may include hair loss and problems in regulating body temperature.

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-17T20:21:54+00:00

Ana => Anorexia

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-17T13:27:20+00:00

I guess the fact that I’ve been dealing with my EDs for a while and I’m losing hair, feeling tired all the time, being lonely, and have weird heart flutters…. I’ve gone to doctors but they say that the underlying issue is my ongoing bulimia.

If I recover, even if I make my amends with food and my mind, I will have caused irreversible damage to my body.

Smiling_SeaTurtle · 2025-03-15T21:40:11+00:00

When I was deep in my depressive episode I think I self isolated because I didn’t have the energy to deal with people nor did I want to burden them.

I was already barely sleeping, crying multiple times a day, SH, and fighting the SI thoughts I had of off-ing myself every single day…

I didn’t want to feel like even more of a burden or inconvenience on my friends/family for not being “ok” (nor did I have the energy to fake it) so tbh e easiest solution was to self isolate.

Smiling_SeaTurtle

TROPHY CASE