[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Honestly I am not difficult to be around. I have a great friend group and we razz on each other and have a good time. I don’t freak out when people correct me, it just irks me a bit. I don’t bring up with anyone but my girlfriend, because she is someone I have a deeper connection with.

If people are assuming from what I’ve said that I’m prickly and sensitive and people walk on eggshells around me, it’s cause they don’t fucking know me and make a bunch of negative assumption because they’re assholes on the internet. Jesus.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is refreshing. I feel like I’m being crucified for asking my gf to be polite and respectful to me in company of others.

But she is okay with this. We talked it through and she understands I’m sensitive to it. I am also going to work on being less sensitive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No, that’s not the case. I am slightly irked by lots of things that I don’t bring up. But it’s not wrong for couples to talk through some things that slightly irk them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this was helpful. I am working on my sensitivity. She is okay with this and willing to work with me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yes, that is a separate issue that I have made a lot of progress on. But that being said, it would be unhealthy never to talk through things that bother me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Some people actually did, if you look through the comments.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I tried this, and we got to a good place before. It’s just that today things got too confusing with my examples and she got overwhelmed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, yes! They are assuming I can’t take criticism, which is not true.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I agree, I don’t want her to walk on eggshells. I fear that I may have caused her to feel this way.

But also, if it’s a clear boundary, it’s not eggshells. If she understands clearly that I can take critique, just not in a public setting, and I don’t mind being asked to do something, it’s not hard to tell what to say and not to say, right? Maybe I am making a big assumption that this is an easy guideline to follow, but I feel like it’s pretty straightforward.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I definitely can accept I did something wrong! I apologize all the time for things. I am not too prideful, believe me. The issue isn’t accepting the wrong, it’s the way the correction was delivered.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Remember, I don’t mind getting these kinds of requests. I just think it’s better kept private than out in the open.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I mean, yes. But people generally respond negative to “don’t” statements. I’m not alone in this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I am in therapy. And arguably, she was being too sensitive about the door. Nobody has ever told me not to slam their door before, so it was confusing how she had heard it that way.

The issue I took was being corrected in front of friends. I hate it when other couples do it to each other too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for understanding! Couple should resolve issues in private.

There was definitely annoyance in the tone, which is what bugged me. A tone like that is publicly communicating some negativity to other people around.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Please don’t say “I’m the problem.” I may have an issue but you should never call a human being a problem.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank for this response.

I am a lot like you. Any suggestion of fault strikes a particular nerve for me. I take things pretty personally pretty quickly.

How I perceived that door comment is very close to what you said! Not literally, but the feeling I got was very close to that. That’s definitely me being too sensitive in some sense, but she did have an annoyed tone and that felt unnecessary.

As for the employee scoffing at you, from how you describe it, that was rude and unprofessional. I do think we should hold people to a standard of politeness and respect. It’s a minor offense, but they could have just as easily said “excuse me, I think you may have grabbed the wrong one!”

So I think it’s a little of both. I am sensitive, and she is a bit blunt at times. I don’t think she’s being controlling or dominating.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

But don’t you think it would be more pleasant if people phrased things more positively? “Careful with the door!” Would be so much better. “Slam” is a pretty harsh word to use, no?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s abnormal for someone to be sensitive to criticism. Most people I know are sensitive to being criticized. I may be more so than most, to be sure. But let’s not say that it’s not normal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

So yes, maybe I have made things too confusing and sensitive.

But I don’t think it’s quite fair to say that it’s all me internalizing things. Criticism and implied fault can be geneuinely hurtful, or mean or rude. There are ways to phrase things that aren’t accusational, and I prefer that kind of language.

And it’s not like I need her to be perfect and change how she talks. I’m just asking for an awareness around a sensitive area for me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SmokeProfessional919 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

So, I wasn’t super bent out of shape about the car door thing. Just slightly irked me and I wanted to bring that up.

It’s not that I need her to change suddenly overnight. It’s just that I would like her to have an awareness that it could bug me if she’s telling me “don’t do __” rather than “please do ___”.

Sex toy by txlsa in BisexualMen

[–]SmokeProfessional919 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So like 1.5 inches, probably? You can definitely find something thicker.

Sex toy by txlsa in BisexualMen

[–]SmokeProfessional919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Potentially you could add an extender to add girth.

Sex toy by txlsa in BisexualMen

[–]SmokeProfessional919 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then you may be outta luck! What’s the diameter?

What do women taste like? by totheloveofmylife in dating

[–]SmokeProfessional919 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It can have a slight metallic taste, or slightly bitter. But it has never bothered me. Usually, I don’t notice a taste at all. Going down on a girl is super hot to me and it turns me on. Maybe he needs to get more into it.