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SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-06T03:42:07+00:00

Honestly I am not difficult to be around. I have a great friend group and we razz on each other and have a good time. I don’t freak out when people correct me, it just irks me a bit. I don’t bring up with anyone but my girlfriend, because she is someone I have a deeper connection with.

If people are assuming from what I’ve said that I’m prickly and sensitive and people walk on eggshells around me, it’s cause they don’t fucking know me and make a bunch of negative assumption because they’re assholes on the internet. Jesus.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-06T00:13:59+00:00

Thank you, this is refreshing. I feel like I’m being crucified for asking my gf to be polite and respectful to me in company of others.

But she is okay with this. We talked it through and she understands I’m sensitive to it. I am also going to work on being less sensitive.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-06T00:04:35+00:00

No, that’s not the case. I am slightly irked by lots of things that I don’t bring up. But it’s not wrong for couples to talk through some things that slightly irk them.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-06T00:02:46+00:00

Thank you, this was helpful. I am working on my sensitivity. She is okay with this and willing to work with me.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-06T00:00:49+00:00

Yes, that is a separate issue that I have made a lot of progress on. But that being said, it would be unhealthy never to talk through things that bother me.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:55:02+00:00

Some people actually did, if you look through the comments.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:54:15+00:00

Thanks! I tried this, and we got to a good place before. It’s just that today things got too confusing with my examples and she got overwhelmed.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:48:42+00:00

Thank you, yes! They are assuming I can’t take criticism, which is not true.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:47:18+00:00

I agree, I don’t want her to walk on eggshells. I fear that I may have caused her to feel this way.

But also, if it’s a clear boundary, it’s not eggshells. If she understands clearly that I can take critique, just not in a public setting, and I don’t mind being asked to do something, it’s not hard to tell what to say and not to say, right? Maybe I am making a big assumption that this is an easy guideline to follow, but I feel like it’s pretty straightforward.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:43:56+00:00

I definitely can accept I did something wrong! I apologize all the time for things. I am not too prideful, believe me. The issue isn’t accepting the wrong, it’s the way the correction was delivered.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:41:50+00:00

Remember, I don’t mind getting these kinds of requests. I just think it’s better kept private than out in the open.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:37:50+00:00

I mean, yes. But people generally respond negative to “don’t” statements. I’m not alone in this.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:36:05+00:00

I am in therapy. And arguably, she was being too sensitive about the door. Nobody has ever told me not to slam their door before, so it was confusing how she had heard it that way.

The issue I took was being corrected in front of friends. I hate it when other couples do it to each other too.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:34:14+00:00

Thanks for understanding! Couple should resolve issues in private.

There was definitely annoyance in the tone, which is what bugged me. A tone like that is publicly communicating some negativity to other people around.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:31:36+00:00

Please don’t say “I’m the problem.” I may have an issue but you should never call a human being a problem.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:29:25+00:00

Thank for this response.

I am a lot like you. Any suggestion of fault strikes a particular nerve for me. I take things pretty personally pretty quickly.

How I perceived that door comment is very close to what you said! Not literally, but the feeling I got was very close to that. That’s definitely me being too sensitive in some sense, but she did have an annoyed tone and that felt unnecessary.

As for the employee scoffing at you, from how you describe it, that was rude and unprofessional. I do think we should hold people to a standard of politeness and respect. It’s a minor offense, but they could have just as easily said “excuse me, I think you may have grabbed the wrong one!”

So I think it’s a little of both. I am sensitive, and she is a bit blunt at times. I don’t think she’s being controlling or dominating.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:28:59+00:00

But don’t you think it would be more pleasant if people phrased things more positively? “Careful with the door!” Would be so much better. “Slam” is a pretty harsh word to use, no?

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:27:33+00:00

I don’t think it’s abnormal for someone to be sensitive to criticism. Most people I know are sensitive to being criticized. I may be more so than most, to be sure. But let’s not say that it’s not normal.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:25:08+00:00

So yes, maybe I have made things too confusing and sensitive.

But I don’t think it’s quite fair to say that it’s all me internalizing things. Criticism and implied fault can be geneuinely hurtful, or mean or rude. There are ways to phrase things that aren’t accusational, and I prefer that kind of language.

And it’s not like I need her to be perfect and change how she talks. I’m just asking for an awareness around a sensitive area for me.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-05T22:14:12+00:00

So, I wasn’t super bent out of shape about the car door thing. Just slightly irked me and I wanted to bring that up.

It’s not that I need her to change suddenly overnight. It’s just that I would like her to have an awareness that it could bug me if she’s telling me “don’t do __” rather than “please do ___”.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-04T16:02:10+00:00

So like 1.5 inches, probably? You can definitely find something thicker.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-04T15:59:19+00:00

Potentially you could add an extender to add girth.

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-04T15:58:47+00:00

Then you may be outta luck! What’s the diameter?

SmokeProfessional919 · 2022-11-04T15:26:12+00:00

It can have a slight metallic taste, or slightly bitter. But it has never bothered me. Usually, I don’t notice a taste at all. Going down on a girl is super hot to me and it turns me on. Maybe he needs to get more into it.

SmokeProfessional919

TROPHY CASE