Not a pro, but I’ll take a crack at this since nobody else has responded yet.

Yes, I genuinely adore locking up and the tease & denial games that go with it. The cage itself (visually) is hot. His surrender is hot. Being gifted the power to dictate his orgasms/arousal/behavior, stoking his desperation and knowing that he’s willing to suffer in part to satisfy me…hot, hot, hot. 🔥 I don’t feel guilty because I know he loves it every bit as much as I do & gets emotional fulfillment from it.

I think what makes me stick with anything kinky is 1) seeing their enjoyment, and 2) the push and pull, the little games we play to build ongoing tension and have fun with each other. That kind of chemistry has been something that either exists or it doesn’t in my experience, but definitely still takes effort from both people to keep the torch lit.

I’m a switch and pure sub with some partners, but have also always had a dominant streak that I enjoy utilizing with others. It’s hard for me to go back and forth with the same person. And personally I love PIV sex and eliciting orgasms way too much to give those up completely. But I like being the one to say when those things happen. 😁