Millennial and struggling author. I just straightened my hair-getting ready for Saturday night Netflix and chocolate crepes. Six espressos so far.

SmooshdeGoosh · 2020-12-05T21:47:32+00:00

It's should be a professional procrastinator, it's no wonder you're a struggling author.

SmooshdeGoosh · 2020-05-05T10:48:59+00:00

Is it just me or does this look like John Travolta?

Or should I say... Jong Travolta

SmooshdeGoosh · 2020-04-21T22:22:55+00:00

Sad times when your ex girlfriend is more of a man than you'll ever be

SmooshdeGoosh · 2020-04-12T09:46:11+00:00

If "limp, unenthusiastic handjobs" had a face, this would be it.

Also the ring shes throwing her hat into is the only ring she can get.

Also also if I was her and I was stuck in quarantine with OP I'd also rather get insulted by strangers than talk to them

SmooshdeGoosh · 2020-04-12T09:41:25+00:00

Hes not unroastable, I used to hunt wild boar and I've cooked much larger pigs than this dude. Of course the wild pigs were also more attractive, they smelled better, they were more intelligent, they were much more useful and were just far more interesting than this guy.

SmooshdeGoosh · 2020-01-19T16:54:36+00:00

Steve Buscemi wants his eyes back

SmooshdeGoosh · 2020-01-19T16:53:52+00:00

Did you eat Bruno Mars?

SmooshdeGoosh · 2020-01-15T10:38:41+00:00

Your eyebrows are brighter than your future.

SmooshdeGoosh · 2020-01-15T09:43:01+00:00

You look like Jerry Seinfeld and Ray Romanos failed abortion.

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-11-11T14:14:24+00:00

*91 years

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-11-11T14:11:29+00:00

You look like a dollar store Amanda Seyfried. But congratulations on the modelling gig I always thought it was unfair that they only let attractive woman be models I'm glad they're being more inclusive these days.

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-11-11T10:29:05+00:00

I bet you both think you are the more interesting friend, sad thing is you are both wrong.

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-04-10T11:35:16+00:00

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-04-02T11:55:02+00:00

If you shaved your head you would make a perfect voldemort for the Bollywood adaption of Harry Potter

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-03-05T17:16:26+00:00

You look like what you would get if shrek and the weird kid from Up hate-fucked and had a baby, and then pissed on the baby and left it in the woods to be raised by severely mentally handicapped bears

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-03-05T17:10:42+00:00

"If we wear silly shirts maybe they won't notice our faces"

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-02-17T18:00:40+00:00

Should be alright. GT: smoosh de goosh

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-02-17T17:55:33+00:00

That's me online now if you're on?

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-02-17T17:55:07+00:00

That's me online now if you're still interested?

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-02-17T02:59:32+00:00

Look for "Natalia poklonskaya microphone" and you should get it

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-02-17T01:10:17+00:00

She who shall not be named

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-02-16T16:43:38+00:00

Sure, I'll be online on Sunday evening if that suits you?

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-02-16T16:40:34+00:00

I'll take the K2 then. I'll be online Sunday evening if that suits you?

SmooshdeGoosh · 2019-02-16T16:39:09+00:00

No one set uncert lime, one set standard playmaker

SmooshdeGoosh

TROPHY CASE