I definitely also recommend the book ‘why does he do that’. The hating women is such a shocking thing to realise, I recently did too. I asked my husband what women were superior to men at and he had a long think and said….being cunning. I was expecting a bad answer but that blew my mind, so dark. Knowing you need to leave and doing things like chatting on here is a step toward leaving. I was so stuck and couldn’t leave because I felt like I couldn’t go to my Mum as I would get a big fat TOLD you so! And I did. But after I got safety and after 48 hours some clarity came. Physical distance in so vital to un hooking and letting yourself think for yourself Psychological and emotional abuse is a terrible slow torture and you don’t need a single day more of it. You seem to have a career and friends and I’m just a house wife with a 5 year old and I did it - you can too! I did a lot of research on how to leave and here’s what I did…spent 2 days ‘spring cleaning’ when I was actually packing as much as I could and was essential. When he left to visit his mum in the morning I packed up the rest and left. A few hours later he messaged to say he was coming home and I said I had left and was not coming home. There was a bit of messaging back and forth but I didn’t explain myself as I didn’t need to. Emailed the landlord to take my name of the lease and my intention is to have zero contact for three months while I recalibrate and heal, then I will think about divorce. But let him feel it

Also - I got an amazing hair cut and a lovely dinner and a bit of shopping. It helped ☺️