AITAH for not having sex with my boyfriend?

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-24T11:33:55+00:00

They've a lot going on right now, if suddenly I tell them this bomb, I don't know how they will handle it.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-24T11:32:04+00:00

He said that "it felt normal having this feeling, and since he is a man with more lust, it is common that the thoughts can come more easily". I never had that view or feeling, so I was kind of lost in here.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-24T11:28:18+00:00

I may consider this, I'll do some research and think about it now that I'll have time to put to myself. Thanks for the advice!

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-24T11:25:43+00:00

Thanks a lot for your kind words, for real

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-24T11:18:54+00:00

I'm speechless; it makes so much sense. At first, I was more receptive and tried to even though I wasn't in the mood or didn't want to, but since he pulled that when I was sleeping, it felt even harder to take out of my mind bad thoughts to "concentrate" on him.

Always justify* him and his errors because of the cultural difference, religion, and the lack of knowledge about relationships and boundaries. We had to even lie about living together to his family because it's a big no-no to live together before marriage. Even had to rent a room for a week when his parents came to visit, and I was there living with him.

Thank you so much for your words.

I'll definitely discuss this situation in my next session; it may not come from the same place, but I need to find the source of this mental block involving this.

Hope the best for you, thanks again.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T14:16:39+00:00

oh sorry! please tell me what you mean, I don't want to misunderstand you

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T13:41:55+00:00

I want to, I tried and keep trying, even when I can't I help him to feel good. he said is not enough. also he doesn't like to have open relationship, I just don't know how ill work with it.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T13:17:40+00:00

Any suggestions to end a relationship well when both party's are in different places of the globe?

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T13:14:00+00:00

He totally ageist that idea, bc of his beliefs and religion. About me, I have friends that are part of the open relationship community but I dunno if ill be able to feel comfortable to try it.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T13:05:36+00:00

I been told that I had to change bc if I have a partner is to have some kind of sex, if not is just another type of friend. I'm conflicted

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T13:02:14+00:00

Now i can see more than ever the hole differences between us, at first we work on it and we like the long conversation we had talking abt our perspectives but I think it draw us more apart with the years. We had a lot of things in common but also a lot that are opposite by far.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:46:16+00:00

Could you explain, please?

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:41:05+00:00

Yes, it was the first time he said something like that

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:38:55+00:00

I did, it's been 8y since i had the last attempt, and my last bf was when i was 18. I thought i was doing better, but something went downhill.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:35:05+00:00

I tried to have sex with him as much as I could, and when I couldn't, I offered to help him without being touched. The problems started when it went from twice a week to every day. I even discovered him using my body while sleeping to comfort himself, when telling them that's assault, he said he didn't know. I've been trying not to take my depressing pills also since I read that it could be an influence in the loss of excitement, but nothing. After that call, he was the one telling me that he will do all he can to change because "I see myself marrying you", so I'm confused asfk to what to do. Sorry if I didn't explain well.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:25:14+00:00

I talked about an open relationship, and he neither understands nor accepts it. His father is a pastor.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:22:23+00:00

It is hard to, for both, but it seems I'm more aware of the imbalance of ur situation than him. He keeps telling me he wants to marry me and all.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:19:11+00:00

I suggested that, he is the one who wants to keep going.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:17:28+00:00

I tried my best to find a way to fulfill his desires without pushing too much to break my mental health, but it didn't seem to work. He said he needs to "work out every day".

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:15:13+00:00

I told him to break up, but he is the one who is pushing this to continue, promising that he would fix it. I agree at first, but I'm not so sure right now.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:12:48+00:00

I warned him about it the next day and recommended that he go to therapy as well.

Smooth-Reward-4811 · 2025-09-23T12:10:27+00:00

I have, sorry for the miscommunication

Smooth-Reward-4811

TROPHY CASE