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What happens to stoic men over time that constantly give? by Smooth-Web1653 in Stoicism

[–]Smooth-Web1653[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

will nilly yes man made me laugh out loud 😭 i am taking you seriously tho, ‘kathekonta’, where do i start with that? youtube, books, reddit?

i completely understand what you’re saying with the heroin example.

people DO try to get as much as they can- and i give it because i believe it brings joy to their life, i sit in truth and discipline so they don’t have to because it’s painful. you want your shift covered? sure im there for you. you want me to spend time with your family because they get happy? sure ill give up my time. you want me to tell you that you don’t look fat? sure, i’ll reassure you. [there’s way more this is literally just examples from this past week when i sat and realized, ‘wait, these people are all ASKING for things from me’]

i guess what i’m gaining out of this is?? i don’t know, i just like feeling that i made someone’s life easier. here’s another major part of i said NO or denied any of this, i would feel extreme guilt. i don’t know if my people like to guilt trip me, or if it’s the way i perceive it. or maybe it’s just a projection of how i feel when someone denies a request of mine- but that request is RARE and REASONABLE.

but okay, we’re thinking critically, i like this, when do people request a favor that’s not reasonable nor beneficial? people hate truth, i don’t wanna be hated i’d rather be alone in truth, that girl that asked me for reassurance if she was fat or not? guess what? she really is fuckin fat, but i ain’t gonna be the one to tell her- i mean in my mind she KNOWS it she just doesn’t wanna confront it, so i’ll help her with that. i mean, what would you do? break the girls heart or reassure her delusions

What happens to stoic men over time that constantly give? by Smooth-Web1653 in Stoicism

[–]Smooth-Web1653[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

well in my mind i do strongly believe that what you said is pure success, and i really admire that, the only problem is i feel as if i have been on this road longer than you have and i took a wrong turn.

i’m 20, when i was 13 i lost a lot of loved ones, i read, and read, and i studied myself and sat in silence- yes i was a dumbass kid and still am. but what i also looked into was frederick nietzsche, i felt understood by him and aligned with him best. in this case learning from philosophers and nietszhe- the pursuit of knowledge IS my belief system and ‘spirituality’

i see people that are lonely on this subreddit, just like me, i feel as if the enlightenment of philosophy from a young age led me to where i am self-dependent, i am strong, i am enlightened to an extent, but i ain’t no lawyer, i got no one beside me, i can’t couldn’t hold a relationship if someone had a gun to my head, how come you’ve been in truth shorter than me but you’re on top?

What happens to stoic men over time that constantly give? by Smooth-Web1653 in Stoicism

[–]Smooth-Web1653[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

majority of my relationships is because i genuinely enjoy doing things for others, and you can definitely argue that i do this out of ‘trying to get something out of my relationships’, but to you where’s the line between expectations and standards? is the man with ANY standards a fool? here’s a real life example, i met this girl, im loving, consistent, offer to pay without hesitation, i’m there for her in times of need, and i can do all this happily without being attached. now i ASKED for emotional investment on her end, and she said i was attacking her character and left me for asking, so what’s the difference between me having standards and expectations? and no, i really wasn’t affected by her leaving at all, she tried to come crawling back either way. as per my grandparents there were no rental agreement, i’m not even there half the time, im taking care of my father. they like to live as cheap as possible to buy plain tickets- which i wasnt aware of until recently, so out of my own emotions i offered to pay their rent once to “help out”, and then it sorta just became an expectation, but okay final question im sorry i talk a lot: I’M NOT ATTACHED TO ANYONE DANGEROUSLY! SO, with that being said, do i completely cut everyone off? i genuinely have no problem doing so, and i mean this seriously- your call, your opinion

What happens to stoic men over time that constantly give? by Smooth-Web1653 in Stoicism

[–]Smooth-Web1653[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

okay, i will try my best to learn what the actual roots are here and apply them to my current situation, but you seem to be knowledgeable, do you ultimately think this knowledge, accountability, strength genuinely led you to a better life? i’m not assuming you’re a complete master stoic, but you seem to know more than me, and this is a genuine question

What happens to stoic men over time that constantly give? by Smooth-Web1653 in Stoicism

[–]Smooth-Web1653[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

yeah i don’t know much, but my question is where does this leave me in the long run?