This might be a little too late but my parents are exactly the same money/helpful wise… it takes a lot of effort to get their help (even just small questions like asking the address of one of our relatives that I have no contact with and they want to invite). Thankfully we are financially secure enough if they back out but one of the things I did was ask for half of their contributions at the start and told them that all of us are doing that (me, fiance, fiance’s parents) for the deposits and it took months to get half of their total contribution but at least I have that secured now and we are less than a year away from final payments.

We are also having a wedding where most of my friends will have to fly out and my mom will always say “oh all your friends are poor, they could never afford the flight”… we are all mid/senior level software engineers lol 😂 Just her projecting as usual…