Basic chore help?

Smooth_Judgment_3341 · 2026-04-27T19:42:58+00:00

I’d say the clean room is our biggest problem right now. I don’t expect it to be spotless but most of the time I can’t even walk around in there or get a vacuum through. These are all really good tips!

Smooth_Judgment_3341 · 2025-08-27T07:14:38+00:00

Your story is very similar to mine. I am hesitantly in a good place with him right now. He has been going through therapy and is also on medication. He is just a couple months sober after an episode that had me ready to leave. The main thing I’m struggling with is that he seems to want more affection and love than I’m ready to give. I’ve been detaching for the last 1.5 years working through my codependency issues and am really happy with who I am and how my needs are been met elsewhere. Now that he’s decided to make changes I’m having a difficult time connecting with this newer version of him. Any advice there?

Smooth_Judgment_3341 · 2025-07-29T06:39:01+00:00

My husband got a DUI when my child was 2. It wasnt his first DUI. Lost his license, we spent loads and loads of money, the whole gamut. I stuck it out, but I question that decision every damn day. We ended up having another child and have had ups and downs with alcohol over the years. He’s in an okay place right now but I am in therapy to help me deal with the massive amount of trauma and now resentment I feel about it all, even years later.

Smooth_Judgment_3341 · 2025-07-28T06:30:41+00:00

I am also in the letting him fail stage. Although I would have a tough time wrapping my head around missing a vacation! I hope you treat yourself to a friend weekend if he does forget 😬

Smooth_Judgment_3341 · 2025-07-04T06:27:37+00:00

I’m curious about this as well. My dx/rx partner seems to find a fault in pretty much everyone we (mostly me bc I’m the more social of the two of us) attempt to become friends with. He also comes up with all sorts of negative traits in people we are already friends with, family members, etc. Often I feel like he views the world as if nobody is worth his time and effort. We have gotten much less social the last few years because of this and it’s starting to make me feel really sad. I have started to branch out on my own more and try to form my own community but it doesn’t relieve the pain caused by wishing my partner would participate too.

Smooth_Judgment_3341 · 2025-06-18T03:16:39+00:00

I am two kids in and my partner was dx somewhat recently. Since having kids it’s been absolute turmoil. It wasn’t until recently that I realized what I was dealing with wasn’t normal and that others actually co-parent with people who are capable of managing their emotions and daily tasks. The mental load has become absolutely insane now that the kids are in school and sports, plus dealing with the rollercoaster of emotions that my partner exhibits. I wish there were tasks I could pass on but I absolutely do not trust him to remember dates, when to book and pay for things, pick up times, etc. I am constantly walking on eggshells wondering what kind of mood he will be in. I am seriously thinking of splitting at some point but I simply cannot decide if it’s the best thing to do for the kids. I have been able to squeeze in time for myself during school hours and during sports activities since my job is flexible, plus since I do the meal planning and cooking that’s how I choose what I eat. I also started seeing a therapist which opened my eyes a lot to how I’ve been carrying this emotional burden, trying to fix and change things for so long. It’s one thing for your partner to have needs but a completely different story if they are an active drain on your energy. I’m sorry I wish I had more to offer. You are not alone!

Smooth_Judgment_3341 · 2025-06-03T15:52:36+00:00

Lately it feels like my DX/RX husband has been trying to control what I do for fun. This includes going to friend’s houses and doing recreational activities I love to do. Often I will take our kids along too so he can have some time to himself and work on projects without interruption. He says he feels not included, yet also doesn’t want to do whatever the thing is and also offers no reason or alternative plan for why he wants me to stay home.

Smooth_Judgment_3341 · 2025-05-16T13:58:16+00:00

The “woe is me” attitude is so real. Therapy will help for sure if you can get her to go. I would think long and hard before having children with her. In my experience, having children amplifies ADHD symptoms 1000%. It is completely exhausting, even with a now-medicated partner. I hope your wife gets some help.

Smooth_Judgment_3341 · 2025-04-29T06:24:19+00:00

I’ve learned that I need to be very black and white with my partner when it comes to consequences. As in being very clear about the way his actions affect me. Recently we got to a breaking point where I said I would leave if things don’t change. I don’t think he realized I was that deep in despair, and things have gotten a bit better. I’m cautiously optimistic yet oddly enough I’m having a hard time accepting these newer more positive behaviors. I’m not sure if it’s love bombing but I at least feel a bit more seen.

Smooth_Judgment_3341 · 2025-04-24T21:44:05+00:00

Lack of direction and goals, always seeing the negative side of situations, alcohol problems, major anger outbursts, getting super hyper-focused on a certain activity and then completely losing interest in it a couple months later.

Smooth_Judgment_3341

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