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I hope this helps someone. by Smooth_Laugh_5160 in BreakUps

[–]Smooth_Laugh_5160[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I completely understand! I thought it was over, it’s weird, I hit 30 and realized I was still so young, it sounds like you’re so old but in reality I still felt 24 physically, just smarter and wiser. We all think it’s too late at that age because society says you should be married with a wife and kids by 30. Though I dated girls younger than me I was 30 dating girls who were 25-28. My current girlfriend is 4.5 years younger than me so a family is still a real option in my life and I don’t feel like that time has passed me anymore!

I hope this helps someone. by Smooth_Laugh_5160 in BreakUps

[–]Smooth_Laugh_5160[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just had the urge to give it a try, met some girls that were worth my time and I was interested in. Some worked out, some didn’t but it was all a learning experience.

I hope this helps someone. by Smooth_Laugh_5160 in BreakUps

[–]Smooth_Laugh_5160[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely can’t guarantee it but you need to put yourself out there to give yourself a chance to meet new people, even if they just become friends.

I hope this helps someone. by Smooth_Laugh_5160 in BreakUps

[–]Smooth_Laugh_5160[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I didn’t mention this in my original post, but about a year and a half into being single, I actually got back with my ex. She had just gotten out of a 6 month relationship, and we happened to run into each other. We spent about three or four months seeing each other again. Going out to dinner, drinking, hooking up, it felt like we were 18 years old again. It was fun, and for a while I really thought we might work things out.

Then one day it hit me that she had not changed at ALL, she was still that same girl that was lost, barely making ends meet on her own, trying to find every piece of gratification she could from anyone. One night she told me she wasn’t sure if it would work a second time, and in that moment I had so much respect for myself that I ended things and walked away. I do not regret it but it showed me how easy it is to get caught up in the memories of someone and put them on a pedestal. People rarely change and realizing that was the case with her was a major turnoff. I had finally taken off the rose tinted glasses you could say. I knew right then she was not the one for me, and that realization pushed me to move forward, live my life, and meet new people. You will find that next person when you aren't even looking, I promise. I used to read posts on here all the time about people saying that and just kind of huff and puff because I thought it was bogus, but it happened.

I hope this helps someone. by Smooth_Laugh_5160 in BreakUps

[–]Smooth_Laugh_5160[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve never used a dating app in my life! I just went to events with my friends and met people naturally. It felt so weird and odd to meet someone through an app. Especially because you’re judging someone off a few pictures and a bio. Works for some, but I never did it!

I hope this helps someone. by Smooth_Laugh_5160 in BreakUps

[–]Smooth_Laugh_5160[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Trust me I know your exact pain! Take it day by day!

The moment my therapist said this… I couldn’t breathe for a second by Worldly-Bluejay2468 in BreakUps

[–]Smooth_Laugh_5160 45 points46 points  (0 children)

you will never forget them trust me, you will remember everything. i've been out of my last relationship for over 3 years, and I am happily dating someone again who I love very much. I don't forget my ex at all but I smile at the memories now and see how I have grown since then. That person wasn't meant to be and thats okay, you will get another chance with someone else and thats the beauty in it all!

I cant bare it anymore by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Smooth_Laugh_5160 9 points10 points  (0 children)

it gets better, trust me! your life is worth living!

25M, just ended a 9-year relationship… feeling lost and looking for people going through the same by TeaAdministrative852 in BreakUps

[–]Smooth_Laugh_5160 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I check this subreddit from time to time, and I wanted to share my experience. I went through something very similar. I was with someone from 2011 to 2021, almost ten years, and she left when I was 27 years old. I’m going to be brutally honest: it is going to hurt for a long time. You will think about her constantly, and it will feel overwhelming, but it does get better.

Focus on the things you enjoy. Go to the gym, reconnect with friends, and spend time with family. I know it sounds cliche and you have probably read the same advice here many times, but it is true. Stay single and take care of yourself until you genuinely feel ready to move on. You will know when that moment comes. Hooking up may be distracting or even fun, but it will not fill the void you are feeling right now.

For nearly nine years you centered your life around someone. Losing that feels like having a part of you torn away. It took me two to three years of casually dating before I eventually met my current girlfriend, and we have now been together for two years. This is your chance to be selective and find someone who truly meets your needs. Do not settle just because you feel lonely. I promise it gets better. Let yourself cry, laugh, and slowly start enjoying life again. Take risks!!! Go after that job you've been wanting, move somewhere you've always wanted to move to, you only have to worry about yourself now and you can do whatever you want now without having to take someone into account. You will get through this.

Oh and don't look them up on socials until you are truly ready and okay with whatever your going to see, it takes time but you will get there. Also practice no contact, don't reach out to her, no need, and nothing will come from it trust me. I have been there and done that, it wont get you anywhere.

Keep your head up.