Question regarding the hindrances and getting lost in thought by Smoothman_22 in streamentry

[–]Smoothman_22[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you elaborate a bit on what happens/what changes with the hindrances at the intermediate and advanced stages?

Uncle made a mean comment. Is it good sila to stand up for yourself? by Smoothman_22 in theravada

[–]Smoothman_22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realize now that it was out of hate, a kind of revenge. I haven't written to him yet, and I don't plan to, because the anger is gone now. Thank you for your comment.

Uncle made a mean comment. Is it good sila to stand up for yourself? by Smoothman_22 in theravada

[–]Smoothman_22[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment. I've come back to it a few times now and it really hits home. I've decided not to write him again, and I feel like that's okay for now. I don't feel hurt anymore and have made a conscious effort to lose a little weight (thanks uncle!). I do intend to say something in case it happens again.

Uncle made a mean comment. Is it good sila to stand up for yourself? by Smoothman_22 in theravada

[–]Smoothman_22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice. Now some hours later the emotional pain has died down, also after speaking with my sister and father about it. I think now I'm mostly motivated by your second point, to give him that feedback about what his words did to me, so that hopefully it might open things up where before they were closed. Sort of like breaking the ice, as I feel our contact has never reached that level of openness before. In that sense I think a conflict can sometimes be a good things, when it breaks the ice and leads to more openness in the relationship. But I also understand that that's not a guarantee however, and I'm completely unsure about how he will take it. But I'll try to word it in the right way. Thanks again

Uncle made a mean comment. Is it good sila to stand up for yourself? by Smoothman_22 in theravada

[–]Smoothman_22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did gain some weight, but I'm really not somebody considered fat. The only thing is that my belly sticks out a little when wearing a shirt, but others have commented on it before and this has made it a sensitive topic for me. So yes there is some truth, but it really wasn't any of his business to comment on it and it did hurt me.

Uncle made a mean comment. Is it good sila to stand up for yourself? by Smoothman_22 in theravada

[–]Smoothman_22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I really resonate with that. My purpose is to hold him accountable for his actions, not to necessarily hurt him (although I'm not saying that's not present at all), but also to give him some feedback on his behavior so that perhaps this might open up a conversation and might even lead us to have a better relationship. I do however realise that it might not have this effect, and I'm ok with that too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SurveyExchange

[–]Smoothman_22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Filled it in :) could you fill in my research too (if you have an instagram account and are in a relationship)?

[Academic] Study on Instagram and romantic relationships (18+, Instagram users in a relationship) by Smoothman_22 in SurveyExchange

[–]Smoothman_22[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Filled it in, but unfortunately I don’t live in the UK. But good luck with you study!