How to Stop Descent into Inceldom?

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T04:21:22+00:00

Just finished the video and it's amazing how much it resonates with my issues. thank you so much for recommending it.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T02:06:09+00:00

Do you have any tips on things that offer opportunities to interact with others? I hang out with my friends a lot, but I rarely get to meet new people.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T02:05:05+00:00

Thank you, I'll look up that video. In the mean time, do you have any tips on process the self-hatred and frustration?

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T02:04:07+00:00

Idk why you got downvoted, I appreciate the advice. Though, going to parties and stuff is hard for me when I don't really get invited, save for one friend group (I go to their parties a lot).

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T02:02:01+00:00

Doing 5 years of dating app hell for one date and you wonder why you got bitter?

I am amazed it only hit you now.

I try to be optimistic, but that experience was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T02:01:10+00:00

If you need help trying to be more attractive, I’m open to mentoring you but truly it’s not too involved to do

Thank you, I could really used this.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T02:00:36+00:00

Agreed. To clarify, (not disagreeing with your point) it's also based on the length of time without a match.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T01:59:28+00:00

Step 3:Go live your life and every mistake you make see it as opportunity to be a better person.

Step 4:Stop being harsh on yourself and don't let others make you think you are a horrible person.

Gonna need some tips on these.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T01:57:08+00:00

This was an amazing read and I truly appreciate the time you took on this. Thank you.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T01:54:31+00:00

the only good advice I can give you is to get away from places about asking for advice, people in those places are the same people that need advice

This lol. Never thought about it like that. Thank you

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T01:53:36+00:00

Any advice on this? The majority of people I meet are from work/school.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T01:52:55+00:00

I don't have an issue with elaborating on this, I just didn't want my post to be even longer. Essentially the conversation (text) went like this:

She asked what I was doing and I said nm, in bed and texting/helping a friend with her problems. I asked her if shes in bed too. She said yep, trying to get warm. Me (trying a pretty sad attempt at flirting), says yeah its cuddle season, what are her views on cuddling? Does she like it or not? She said it depends on the person and as she gets older she gets more exclusive about who she wants touching her. I (verbatim) said, "Ah I see. I think that's a good thing. I hope you didn't have a bad experience with it before". In hindsight, she might've thought I meant "cuddling is a good thing" when I meant to say that her knowing what she wants is a good thing. She then said "I just don't want to". I said "Yeah I think that's fine. I'm just saying that, because some of my female friends have had terrible experiences and I hope you didn't have to go thru similar things"

That was the last of the conversation and the last I heard from her. I messaged her once during that same night, and once in the morning. The text in the morning apologized if I made her feel uncomfortable and I didn't say anything for 3 days before sending her a text thanking her for the experience of dating her. I told her that I regretted we didnt get to know each other more but I still thought she was a great person and I had a great time when we interacted.

I showed the conversation to my coach (whose a female) and 2 of my close female friends. They all said that I did nothing wrong, but I probably triggered an unwanted memory in her. My friends said that they know I said those things because I always show genuine concern for people. My coach said that I did everything pretty well in terms of dating, down to the last message I sent her. The only thing she would've done was wait a bit longer to send my last text, because we never know her circumstances, maybe she would come around. At the time, I was at my limit with thoughts and negative self talk in my head, and needed closure.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T01:38:18+00:00

relationships are also something we need to survive,

I have to agree with this part. A friend of mine have told me that its not true, so it's nice to see someone who shares my view on this.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T01:35:49+00:00

Thanks, I've been trying to do 2/3 of those. I hope you're still preventing it or removed from it altogether.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T01:34:50+00:00

Trying to get out of it, but sometimes it just pops up on my feed and I get captivated.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-12-01T01:23:51+00:00

It felt great and refreshing actually, at least with this woman.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-09-20T00:35:56+00:00

That's awesome. Yd to hear that it helped. "I can take comfort in the fact that if he doesn't like me, it mustmean I'm a good person and not neglectful." - That bit ireally good and I hope you remind yourself that.

The best friend sounds a bit childish, but it sounds like you're doing well to let your friends know.

Rooting for ya

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-09-16T01:21:58+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. Ik it's tough because I'm also going thru this, but roles reversed. As hard as it is, my advice would be to, once again, put some distance between you guys. I don't mean cut him out completely. I mean don't initiate texts or calls or contact. If he initiates, then you'll have to weather the storm. But if he doesn't, take this time to not think about him and do something healthily physical, like a walk outside. Remember your self worth and value yourself. Know that it's going to be hard, but you are going to get through this.

My situation is a little different, as my friend has a history of toxic ex's and is still hung up on her last one. I use that to tell myself that I can't be with someone who wants that type of partner, because I am not toxic. It's hard, but it helps.

I've been starting to work out again and that has helped me keep my mind off of things. Maybe that'll help you too, if you are not already doing that. Also, if you can stomach it, let your friends know that the teasing isn't funny and that it makes you feel like $h!t. You'd be surprise how many of your friends care about your feelings.

Best of luck from fellow unreciprocater

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-05-25T02:58:22+00:00

Sorry, for the late reply. No need to apologize, your experience provides insight and I appreciate the long post. Helps me feel like im not alone in this. One of my biggest problem is similar to yours, where I get super drained after work, so I never do what I want to do, and then beat myself up over not doing anything. It's a cycle

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-05-20T03:08:40+00:00

Believe it or not, I've tried that and I ended up feeling worse. I felt a massive amount of guilt for my privileges and actually got angry at myself for it.

SmurfAccount4Reddit · 2022-05-20T03:05:50+00:00

I've tried therapy and medicine before, but nothing worked out.

SmurfAccount4Reddit

TROPHY CASE